How do u get a 6yr old to sleep in their own bed?? lol

Lauren - posted on 02/22/2010 ( 25 moms have responded )

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My son is still sooooooooo attached to me.. I cannot get him to sleep in his own bed/room all night.. He is such a mama’s boy because he is the only child.. I do still baby him cause he is still soooooooo cute and cuddly, HELP, lol

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Our son never slept in our bed until he was 4--all of a sudden, he started coming in our bed at night and refusing to go to bed in his. I would let him cuddle/fall asleep in our bed and my husband would move him to his bed when he came to bed. When he was 5, I decided it had to stop, so this is what we did.

I told him he could have 3 stories and we would cuddle for 3 songs (this was our old bedtime routine), then I would lay in his bed until he fell asleep. I did that for a week, then I told him I would sit beside him until he fell asleep, but that didn't work well because for some reason, he REALLY wanted to talk if I was sitting in his room. So I told him I would be just outside and would come check on him in just a few seconds.
I came back to check on him after 30seconds, then a whole minute, then every 2 minutes until he fell asleep--the trick is to go check on him before he calls for me. The next night, I started with 1 minute, then 2 minutes, then every 3 minutes until he was asleep. By the 3rd night, I had his trust, so I started with 1minute, then came every 5 minutes until he fell asleep. After a week, I started with one minute, then 5 minutes, then every 10 minutes until he fell asleep. That's what I do now, but sometimes 15-20 minutes pass before I go to check on him, but he's fine because he knows I will come and he doesn't have to call me. As long as I peek back in to check on him after that 1st minute, he is fine. When I check on him, I just peek my head in the door and smile at him. If he asks for a hug, I give him one, but I try not to talk to him.

Hope this helps, it worked well for us. He does still come try to get in our bed at night sometimes, but it's rare. When he does, I just carry him back to his bed.

Jessica - posted on 02/22/2010

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Stop babying him. lol no. tell him that "tonight your going to sleep in your room all night" and every time he gets up or goes to your bed. get him up and march him right back to his room. even if he does it 20 times. be consistant!

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Jessica - posted on 12/07/2010

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We've tried it all! Starting off sleeping in our bed then moving her, offering gifts if she sleeps in her own bed, threatening, giving time limits ect. She still sneaks in around 3am with us. She's 7!!!!! She's my only one and I'm hoping she will grow out off it.

Alpa Badani - posted on 12/01/2010

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oh i wish someone had a real good answer to this one...my only daughter is 7 and doesn't want to sleep in her own room....no having a separate bed in our bedroom hasn't helped...decorating her room to her choice with a big bunk bed also hasn't helped...sitting with her till she goes to sleep also hasn't worked.....i feel like she stays up almost the whole night when i make her sleep in her own room, pretending to be asleep...and then she has to go to the bathroom several times too....i feel bad that she doesn't get enough sleep and she is scared all the time....so i give in....pls help!!!!

Shareen - posted on 11/29/2010

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When my daughter was almost three she had a tumbling and fractured her leg. That kicked off a couple of nights of sleeping with me, which of course started to become habit. I tried being patient, being stern, enforcing routing and still it seemed impossible that she would sleep in her own room.
Not sure if this would work with everyone, but I put together kind of my own little "behavior chart". I got 14 pictures of her favorite characters and built a little chart. Each night that she went to sleep in her own room without fighting, and stayed asleep in her room, she got to move up. When she reached the top she got something she really wanted (within reason, of course!) We used indoor play house or bouncy house visits to get it kicked started. It worked. And we still use the chart...focusing on specific behavior when needed. She loves getting to "move up"!

(Got the idea from Miss Spider! So we still call it the "Wishing Web".

Tonya - posted on 11/08/2010

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We got a dog. :) Of course, that won't work for everyone. :) My son is 14 now, but it took us quite some time to get to the point where he was sleeping on his own. The dog really helped, but beyond that having the same routine every night before bed and that I would stay in the rocking chair (out of the room) but he could still see me until he fell asleep. Good luck! I remember those days well, and the best thing I can say is....at least they'll stop when they are teenagers!

SHAMA - posted on 11/07/2010

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i second ur opinion as i have also been doing the same.this is a common practice in our country and the result is a' BOND SO STRONG' that is unbreakable all ur life.in our country there is no fashion of old homes.sons are morally,emotionally and ethically bound to keep their parents even after marriage and this creates large familiy ties who may or may not be living in the same house but they are very close to each other.and stand by each other in times of trouble.as you sow,so shall you reap.

Heather - posted on 11/06/2010

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You tell me. i have the same problem. I could not tell you haw long its been since I slept with my huband, He sleeps on the couch.

Michelle - posted on 11/03/2010

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my daughter is three years old and im a single mom, and she still sleeps with me, i know she will grow out of it, but for me, i find that they sleep longer when the stay with you. but good luck with with trying to get your son to his bed

BONNIE - posted on 11/03/2010

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I don't mean to be mean, but, really, sooooo cute and cuddly???? Which one of you is the child? It is LONG past time that he was sleepin in his own bed in his own room. Do you have a partner??? Our job as parents is to teach our children to let go of our hands and walk alone. Peter Pan is a fairy tale. Real children grow up the longer you hold on the hardr it will be for him. Wait until his school friends find out that he sleeps wh mommy. He will be ridiculed. Do the child a favor and help HIM to grow so that he won't be having this same convesation about HIS child one day.

Latarra - posted on 11/02/2010

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My son is an only child too...b/c I work alot, go to school, and have little time for him, I allow him to get away with it. I thought he would grow out of it but it's looking like he wont at all. Please help

Desirae - posted on 03/21/2010

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My daughter is pretty good about sleeping in her own room. Every once in a while when she has night terrors she may com in... to which I let her stay with me until she is calmed down... Jennifer poses a good point. You must have a comforting routine just before bed time. We read her books from school... sing about 3 songs... cuddle for about 10 minutes... get and give our hugs and kisses and are adamant about letting her know how important a good nights sleep is for your health and hers. When she got to the point where I was proud of her for following these bed time rules I surprised her and bought her a bed tent... Maybe you can try to find a way to, I hate the word bribe, but get something for his room to encourage him. If it is sounds and shadows he is afraid of... sleep in his room for a night, letting him know that it will not become the new norm... and turn the lights on and off to get him to know what is making the funny shadows. Also you can lay there and explain the 'scary' sounds such as the furnace kicking in... Teach him that there is nothing to be afraid of... that there is nothing in the dark that is not there in the daytime... I wish all of you luck... My daughter has been pretty great at sleeping in her own room since she was a baby for these reasons.

Cia - posted on 03/19/2010

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don't allow it, you might tell your child to stay in bed... but if you don't follow through with some actions like taking them back to bed then they wont learn. My daughter had the same problem... She kept on but finally she realized that she didn't like getting told no then having to walk back to her room to put herself back to bed.

Lauren - posted on 03/07/2010

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My little one is only 3 moths old so dont have this problem yet. My friend had this problem with her 5 year old daughter. It really deppends how much you actually want him out of your bed, if you do really really then try the Jo frost supernanny techniques. My friend did it and within 2 weeks her daughter was in her own bed every night. It is really really hard and very traumatic for you (not the child) but it does work. My friend called me several times in tears finding it very difficuly but she stuck with it and it worked xx Good luck xx

Jennifer - posted on 03/02/2010

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Routine routine routine! That is number 1 and the most important. Give your son a consistant bed time routine each and every evening at the same time and it will help settle him down and prepare his mind and body for bed. I gave my daughter a snack and drink, bathed her, helped her brush her teeth and get pj's on then took her to her room and read her 2 stories each night. I put a glass of water next to her bed in case she got thirsty that way there was never a question of getting up a thousand times and saying she was thirsty. Lots of hugs and kisses and a night light help too. The other equally important thing is to be firm. Bed time is bed time and your own bed is where you sleep. If you cave in each night when your child cries and let them come back to your bed all you are teaching them is that if they cry you will give in. Be loving and kind but firm. No matter the protest or anything else, once your routine is done lights off and stay in bed. If your son gets up, quietly walk him back to his room help him get back in bed and say its bed time, dont get up again. Do not talk to your son about anything else, or allow him to discuss or debate with you. You are the parent and he is the child. He will learn and you dont ever have to raise your voice or make it a sad thing.

Cassandra - posted on 03/01/2010

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my daughter still sleeps with me on occasion, but if u want him to sleep in his own room. Wait till he falls asleep, then carry him in there. If he wakes in the middle of the night, walk him back to his room, Rewarding and praising helps alot.

Sherry - posted on 03/01/2010

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I have the same problem here with my 7 year old..I think with me going thru my divorce right now just makes it more stressful on him. I hope soon things will turn around

Mona - posted on 02/28/2010

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Same problem, but he is four. He will not stay in his bed. I think it is because of a few reasons. 1. We have a bathroom in our bedroom, so he wakes in the middle of the night to come use it, wich is fine, rather him do that then use the bed. LOL 2. He doesn't like his little toddler bed anymore. and 3. We just let him get away with it.

Celeste - posted on 02/28/2010

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I got my son to sleep in his own bed after a whole year of trying, i had his bed in my room just so he get the feeling of his own bed, then i moved it to his room but i would lay with him till he fell to sleep and if he woke i would just take him back and he started sleeping on his own.

Anne - posted on 02/27/2010

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Try starting them out on the floor in a sleeping bag next to the bed...that way they're in the room and feel secure...but get a chance practice sleeping without you in the bed. We also have a lot of success with our 6 year old by giving some deadline in the future. We'll say "When you're 7 you won't be able to sleep with us, but right now its fine." We did it with potty training, giving up pacifiers, even getting carried all the time, and it worked great.

Lisa - posted on 02/25/2010

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I read this hoping for some help too. He is six too. I just keep hoping that he will grow out of it.

Lisa - posted on 02/24/2010

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OMG! I Can not help you but offer you lots of sympathy, my son is very attached to his dad and would sneak over to sleep next to HIM...when we realize he is there it already time to get up....I will be checking for some advise from the moms on this one. I need help too.

Angel - posted on 02/23/2010

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I will be watching this close. I have a 6 yr old son I can't get out of my bed either!! So, I can offer no help, but lots of understanding.

Sharon - posted on 02/22/2010

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My girl is 5 and still comes in every night to get me. I am very naughty because I work full time I have no patience to do the tough love thing. Im sure she will grow out of it ( I hope)

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