Jen - posted on 02/18/2010 ( 60 moms have responded )
My husband and I had an incredibly hard time when we were trying to have a baby, including two miscarriages. The pregnancy was terrible, the labour was terrible, and then I nearly died when my daughter was a week old. Things just got worse as I suffered severe PTSD, severe PND and severe Anxiety Disorder. I have since been diagnosed with bipolar and epilepsy.
After all of that, we have had to accept that we will most like not have any more kids because we've been through so much already. And also the medication I am on to treat these things are not safe during pregnancy.
In many ways, I'm comfortable with this decision and our family feels complete. But I feel sad just the same when I think that I will never feel another baby squirming in my tummy and will never hold a newborn son or daughter of my own again. And I'm torn between being able to concentrate more on Janaya and her schooling and maybe being able to get a new car sooner, but on the negative side, Janaya wont grow up with a brother or sister to play with and, one day when we pass on or if we get sick or something, she will be on her own to deal with it.
I'm so torn and don't know how to accept it. Is anyone else feeling the same way?