How do you say no to unwanted play dates

Melanie - posted on 10/20/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My 9 year old son and his friend X get on well at school, but when the friend comes over it's a nightmare! X pushes all the wrong buttons and my usually calm son gets furious and aggressive towards his friend. But X keeps asking when he can come over to play again...

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Megan - posted on 10/21/2009

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just be strait with them. in my opinion people will respect you more. you don't even have to give them an excuse, just tell them no thanks, not to day, or if you don't want them over ever let them know.

Cathy - posted on 10/21/2009

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I always set the ground rules up front... Nicely but firmly. Letting the child know who is boss and if he/she can't go by the house rules then no more play dates. My daughter is 11 yrs old now, so now it's not so much of a mad house except in her room only.

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Melanie - posted on 10/21/2009

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Thanks for the advice. Guess I will have to explain to the mum...she thinks X is an angel, but was there when the fight broke out. X is so much taller and bigger sized than my son. She seems reasonable, so hopefully she won't be offended.

Hannah - posted on 10/21/2009

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Talk to the kids parents, explain you want the boys to take a break from each other. If they keep being good at school then in the future X can come over again.

Ilene - posted on 10/21/2009

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Your house, your rules. If X can't behave in your house and respect your rules then I see no problem with not allowing him back over. Have you spoken to X's parents? Are they aware of your concerns? I know that can be a bit scary at times to talk to the other parents, but you cannot allow X to come over until he can control his behavior.

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