I have a 10 year old that everything with her is an argument.

Melissa - posted on 01/25/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have tried everything. Talking to her, persuading her, compromising with her. I blame myself for not putting my foot down and letting her run on me when this first started.. I want to get that sweet respectful little girl back I used to have.. I am afraid that If I dont stop this now, I will pay for it to the extremes later.. Anyone have suggestions?

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Stephanie - posted on 01/26/2010

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Depending on how desperate you are (how much money you want to spend), look into the resource called "smart discipline". It's all about rewarding good behaviors and does not focus so much on punishing bad behavior. I think it's important to be consistent about discipline. Since you weren't to start off, then you should start by sitting down with her to explain that from now on things are going to be different. Go through some rules together that you both understand and "agree" on. And from this point forward you have to stick to it. Consistency and not giving in are the key. Good luck.

[deleted account]

This is more common than you think. As your daughter approaches puberty, you will find she is more confrontational, demanding, and just down right bitchy. Chock it up to hormones and ever-changing peer groups. Plus, mothers and daughters are often at each other's throats throughout this period of pre-pubescence and well into puberty, while the bonds between father and daughter grow stronger.

Your daughter is simply trying to figure out her "place" in the world, and the household as well. She is testing her boundaries with you, and perhaps attempting to manipulate you as well.

I was an only child. My son is an only child as well (I have a 10 yr old step-daughter from my 2nd marriage). I know that from 10 on...even in college...my mother and I disagreed on just about everything. I felt as if she was constantly trying to control me, BECAUSE I was her ONLY child. It often seemed as if she didn't care for my opinion, or how I felt about an issue. It was HER way or the HIGHWAY. I really resented that.

You say everything is an argument. Can you be more specific? Are you asking her to dress a certain way? chores? etc?

Is there a life event that has drawn your attention away from her recently?

She may have some resentment issues toward you that are causing her to act out. Again, it may also simply be the fact that she is getting older, and coming in to her own.

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