If I could just have one child and raise it very well, rather than 2+ adequately...

Sherry - posted on 01/20/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Ok, mom's of one. I think maybe we've all had the thought of having a second child. I think I battle with myself nearly every other month wondering if I should have another, then I always see another mother at the park, grocery, etc. with 2+ kids in tow and let's face it, she looks exhausted. That's always enough to cure me of wanting another child.



Let's not forget to mention our family members who try to guilt us into having another child by saying "poor thing needs someone to play with". Well, my only child is nearly 5, we've attending all sorts of classes & programs over the years (library storytime, Kindermusik, etc.) plus the fact she just started preschool and I'm happy to report she's a social butterfly without a sibling.



I'm not a perfect mom but I'm glad that by only having one that I've been able to concentrate on her needs by teaching her how to be a good person as well as helping her along academically too. I'm still working on having one child and raising her well...Not to mention I wanted some sanity left over for myself too!

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Catherine - posted on 01/23/2010

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I know my limits.. I am doing one well.. I can respond to his needs & get him in classes that are his interest.. I know he will be in sports so Heather's response made me feel good. I don't want to drag another around to all these events. I want to have the money that if he wants to bring a friend later, I can swing it. Any extra love & time I have goes right to my nieces & nephews! They don't seem to mind.

I think 2 kids & I would end up medicated trying to keep up with the insanity.

Heather - posted on 01/22/2010

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I am a single mom of a twelve year old son who plays competitive baseball...meaning from the last weekend in February until the weekend before Thanksgiving, we spend an average of four days a week at the ballpark, batting cage, or private lessons. If I had a second child, there is no way I would have been able to afford to indulge in his passion for baseball emotionally or financially. I also cannot imagine that I could EVER love another child as much as I love him...we have been through hell and back again...a few times!



When my son was four, we lost my mother, a year and a few days later we lost my fiance, two years after that, we lost my dad...all in the month of December. My son enabled me to get out of bed every day when all I really wanted to do was stay there forever. As much as he has lost in his short life, it felt wrong to then ask him to sacrifice my undivided attention as well. As one would imagine, we are extremely close...more buddies than mom and son, and I wouldn't have it any other way.



When he was 8, one of the other mom's on our team had a one year old. Watching her try to keep up with the little one AND watch her son made me realize that there is no way I could start over again and I had my tubes tied before the season was over. Everyone worried that I would regret that decision or that one day I would find "mr. right" who would want kids, but I argued that MY "mr. right" wouldn't want any more kids or would be okay with adoption. It has now been four years and I have never regretted my decision for a second.



For those brave enough to take on the challenge of additional children...more power to them, but I know my capabilities and limits. I am always there for my son 100% of the time...and I can always spoil my nieces, nephews, and friends children any time I want...on MY terms! Call it selfish if you like, but I like my life exactly the way it is!

Monica - posted on 01/21/2010

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It is so nice to hear your views on this! I agree %100, and I am so over people trying to make you feel like there is something wrong with your choice. You really made a good point when you mentioned seeing other moms with more children and how run down they are. One can be exhausting at times, but you can also give your undivided attention and be able to go to school events, sports, and not miss out because you have another child's events to go to. My child is 5 as well, and loves people and being social too! I really believe that it is how you raise your children not weather or not they have siblings. Glad I saw your comment, and good luck! :-)

Yarin - posted on 01/21/2010

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I really feel where you're coming from. I'm always struggling with the thought of having another child. I've even asked "What if I'm not a good mother of 2." People roll they're eyes at that one and think it's nonsense. Some people shouldn't have kids, and some people can't handle more than 1 or 2. Some people say "If you're done, you know, if you're not sure, then you're not done." Well I at least know that for right now, I'm done! We'll see what the future holds.

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