It's what you make of it

Lori - posted on 11/13/2008 ( 14 moms have responded )

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I have found that having one child ,who is now 14 yrs old is all what you make of it. My husband & I were not able to have more children but I feel so Blessed to have been able to give birth to one, some people can't have any of their own. I believe we have to be careful who we are listening to. A lot of people say things out of their own ignorance and I know for myself, it's best not to take things personally which is sometimes very hard to do. My son has friends over all the time which started when he began going to school. He learned how to entertain himself from young on & had a huge imagination which is awesome. I use to feel guilty that he had no siblings but not anymore & eventually we got a dog which is a also a great companion. The most important part is that your child knows he/she is loved and has value. Many children are neglected and mistreated these days, or they are not wanted which is sad to me. I think the hardest part of having an only child, is that you only get to experience the different stages once and the time goes really fast.

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14 Comments

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Kimberly - posted on 01/20/2009

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all great great posts~!



while i would have loved another, it just isnt in the cards for us. Having one is not only really the best decision for us, but obviously its Gods plan. I cant argue with that. My son is the child I never thought I would have,and I am so so blessed!

Tonya - posted on 01/19/2009

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Due to infertility and other health problems my husband and I have one 5 year old son who we love dearly.  I have been the target of many rude and thoughtless comments regarding the fact that my son does not have siblings.  I have to remind myself that I serve an awesome God who does not make mistakes.  He made my body the way it is.  Last year I had to have a hysterectomy.  Zack asked me the night before my surgery if he was ever going to have a brother or sister.  I told him that our family is like a puzzle.  We have a mommy piece, a daddy piece, a Zack piece, and a Marshall piece (our dog) and our puzzle is finished.  This analagy seemed to work for him to understand that all families are different.  Of course I wonder "what if " at times but not enough to forget the fact that I am very blessed and that God's plans are perfect.

Nicole - posted on 01/18/2009

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My husband, myself, my mom we are all only children. My daughter is an only child. We all have plenty of friends and are very well adjusted. I see my daughter with other children, she is 3.5 and I think she shares more and interracts better than some of the children with siblings. If you raise your children properly, whether you have one or more I think they will be fine. If it was meant to be they wouldn't be only children. Make the best of what you have. Children are gifts. I was lucky to have my daughter @ 38.

Julia - posted on 01/11/2009

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My daughter is not lonely. We live in a small place and she has 3 friends very near. 1-3 girls are here in our house almost everytime. I feel many times like beeing a mom of many stubborn little girls...



My daughter has always said that she doesn`t want to have a sibling. But within 6 months she has few times said that she would like to have a sister. Maybe that`s because her best friend is also on only child and she also says that she would wanna have a sister. On the other hand- I have a sister and a brother and I always wanted to be an only ;)

Lynda - posted on 12/30/2008

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I love mine to death and he knows it. Even though he is 5 yrs. old, he is a fan of the show Jon and Kate plus 8. I remember an episode in which one of the little girls accidentally goes under water in a pool. Her mom screams and the dad immediately turns around and puills her out. My son turns to me and says " You see mommy? That's why you shouldn't have so many kids! They can't control them!" I have even asked him if he wants a sibling and he immediately says NO. So, no guilt here (not much anyway).

Hilary - posted on 12/29/2008

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I always thought I would have lots of children. My one and only is worth everything to me and she knows it! She is 5 and I can cherish every minute with her instead of being overwhelmed with multiple children. I love teaching her, traveling with her and my husband, and most of all learning from her! Single children are a blessing!

Shakima - posted on 12/22/2008

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Congratulations Lynda on surviving cancer, and all the best to you and your family.



Thank you Lori for starting this thread because I go back and forth between feeling guilty simply because my son is so lonely. I did tell him the other day, though, that if he had a sibling he would have to share a lot more than he's used to so he might just want to enjoy the time he has as an only child. My son was not planned, and I tell myself all the time that I'd rather bust my butt making our lives interesting, than have another child just because my son is lonely. I have a lot of love to give, and maybe I will have the opportunity to have more children in the future, but right now I have a wonderful child, who is smart and funny and just all around cool, and the best thing we both can do is enjoy our time here on this earth LIVING instead of worrying all the time about what we don't have. It can be tough to do sometimes in this economy, but I tell you what makes me smile - seeing when my son has fallen asleep, and watching him like I did when he was a baby. (Now, lifting his heavy behind to get him into his bed is a whole other topic!)

Lynda - posted on 12/22/2008

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People have tried to make me feel guilty about having only one child. Why don't they realize that each person / family should be the one to decide how many children they want or can have? I see so many families with more than one child struggling to make ends meet because they have more children than they can afford, especially with the economy nowadays. Children have needs and it is our responsibility to meet them. In my case, I would have loved to have two kids. Mine is now 5 yrs old. But after surviving cancer and unnecessary radiations, it is too high a risk to have another one. So I decided to enjoy the one I do have to the fullest. He is a miracle to begin with, and he doesn't feel like he is missing out bc he has no siblings. People should just mind their own business when it comes to this issue.

Joy - posted on 12/19/2008

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Great post! My only daughter just turned 6 and I'm just starting to really get in the groove of having an only. I am an only as well.

Paulena - posted on 12/15/2008

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WOW Great post!

Teresa - posted on 11/25/2008

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It seems to me that everyone else thinks it's their business why you only have one child. My only daughter was not by choice, difficulty getting pregnant and a still birth have dictated. But if I wanted that nosiy person in the office to know that, I would have told them already.

Lori - posted on 11/14/2008

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You are welcome - I've had many people say stupid things to me in regards to having one child, what is it of anyone elses concern...right?

Ruth - posted on 11/14/2008

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Great post! Thanks!

Kathy - posted on 11/13/2008

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That's a very encouraging and affirming message. Thanks Lori.