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Playing/napping alone

Jessie - posted on 03/30/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Hello, I'm the mom of an only 2 year-old daughter. She hardly (if ever) plays alone. She always wants to play with someone (me, my husband or grandparents, etc.). She has tons of toys and is fully capable of playing alone. I'm a very busy working mom, and of course, have things that need to be done periodically throughout the day when I am home and can't play with her constantly. I know the usual suggestion would be for us to join a play group or something of the sort. However, I live in a very small town and there are not any available play groups in my area.



My other question is- how can I break my daughter of not falling asleep on her own for naps? When I'm working, her grandparents, who take care of her, usually rock her to sleep for a nap. My father-in-law will actually hold her in his lap for hours while she sleeps. My husband doesn't see this as a problem, but I do. I would prefer him to at least put her down in her bed after she falls asleep. However, since my husband and I don't agree on this, it's difficult to convince him to ask his father to do it. I don't have the time to sit with her in my lap for hours, that's the time when I'm able to get things done around the house. So, when I'm at home, she does not usually nap. She does not have this problem going to bed at night, just for naps.



If anyone can offer ANY suggestions on my two problems, it would be very appreciated.

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Celeste - posted on 04/12/2009

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So this is what I did. My husband used to get suckered into sleeping with her, the whole 9. She would not sleep without him. You can imagine. If he left her room she would wake up and come and get him, so he'd just stay all night so he could sleep. Then, he asked if we could switch off so that he could get a comfortable night's rest. I did not! She learned that she could only get him to do certain things and me others. This won't affect you, if you don't give in. Your husband will be the one that will have to deal with this in the long run. My husband would go on business trips and our daughter tried to get me to sleep with her the first night. I kept putting her back in her bed after she fell asleep. The first night was rough, but she was just as tired as I was. She didn't even bother for the rest of the 2 weeks he was gone and on other trips of his. My husband eventually saw the light. So, I would stick to the plan. And I know, nap times are so precious. You feel like you can't live without them or atleast you have to live in squalor without them. And really, it's ok to have a different relationship with your daughter than your husband does. She just has to learn the difference. She will learn that daddy rocks her to sleep and mommy keeps her in habitable conditions with plenty of food, activities and love.



About your other problem. That's what everyone wants to know. I read that they eventually learn to entertain themselves. I have a 4 year old. Just as all the books said, the 4 year old's imagination play becomes increasingly more complex. So I suggest getting her a full legnth mirror, dress up clothes, swords, pots and pans (real ones from the salvation army) and just wait for it to kick in. Sofia never played with toys by herself. She liked pretend things to help her escape. Until they can read, that's just how they escape. I truly hope it kicks in soon. I don't know about you, but I can play for an hour, tops. I used to work it into my schedule for the day. One hour of undivided attention, no phone, t.v., nothing but my daughter. That helped me look at it differently. It held the same weight as cleaning or whatever. She learned that it was playtime and when playtime ended, mommy had other things to accomplish. It sounds cold blooded to have an appointment with you daughter, but I don't think most people realize all the things that mothers really have to do on such little sleep. Good luck!

Rachael - posted on 03/30/2009

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Does she still have an afternoon nap? Does she get rocked to sleep before her night time sleep? Love Rachael xxxxx

Rachael - posted on 03/30/2009

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Oh gosh I completely understand what you are saying! I to have a 2 year old. This was a problem for me when Oliver was in his first year. Getting every body to put him down and understand that he doesn't need the contact every second. This was a battle for me because, My husband works and when I needed to get stuff done Oliver wouldn't go down after going to my in-laws house or a visit from them. It was so difficult.



I think its very important to make your husband and his parents understand that she will not be independant or confident without you guys if this carries on, she will be reliant on them not only to sleep, but for reassurance and play to. I am a registered childminder and at this age a toddler/pre-schoolers play should be soley solitary. They should play on their own quite happily as they don't understand sharing or how to interact properly as yet. The fact that she wants to play with others says how reliant she is on them for play already and that how they are choosing to do things may all ready be affecting her.



 



I completely understand where you're coming from. Keep me posted.



 



Love Rachael xx

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