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Tips for discipline without yelling?

Aimee - posted on 05/15/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

I am trying to find effective ways to get my Son to listen to me without having to resort to yelling. He's 2y, 8 mo. and I swear he has me trained. I never start out with yelling but it seems to be the only thing that works. I always ask him to do something then when he disobeys, ask again and tell him why I would like him to do it. If that doesn't work I tell him that he has until the count of three to comply and if not he will receive a time out. By the time I count to three he usually does what I ask but if he is feeling especially disobedient I have to use the time out or yell at him to get him to obey. Having to resort to this just tears my heart out but I honestly don't know what other steps to take. I'm also getting tired of the same thing over and over again. Specifically he has become difficult at nap time and I have to yell at him to get him to calm down and sleep. It seems so counter-productive. I know that he is only two but he is such a smart boy and this whole process pains me. Any suggestions would be great!

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Sarah - posted on 06/06/2011

Make sure you have direct eye contact and are on his level. It can be distracting if you aren't connected or even intimidating if you are standing over him. I always find that with my daughter bending down to her level and talking to her helps a lot. Also as another mom said redirect. Say, we can't do this right now but lets do this. Or I need you to do this so that way we can do this. Time out if it doesn't work. and follow through. Make sure you set the limits and boundaries. And if it is extremely stressful, have him sit in time out for a moment, or direct him to an activity, take a moment to yourself to breath, then come back in the situation when you are calm and explain to him on his level.

Jackie - posted on 05/16/2011

We often take away a favourite toy. "Do you want to lose your lego for a week? Then do what i am asking" And you have to follow through. Once he got the idea, all I have to do now is threaten to put a favourite toy or stuffed animal away for a week and he complies! But you HAVE to follow through, and it will be tough love until he gets that you are serious. Don't give in. And good luck!

Maigan - posted on 05/15/2011

I have found that yelling is prolly the worse thing you can do. and from the sounds of it , you have no desire to be yelling anyways. Ive found with both my children that re0direction is the absolute best way of discipline. If your child is doing something he shouldnt be doing, try to re direct him in a poitive way by giving him a suggestion on what he CAN do instead. Telling a child, 'No, No, No' all the time can be awfuly dishearting to a child. Instead of saying 'NO, dont do this or you CANT do that' try to say 'We're not going to do this right or that right now, but we are going to.....ect.....'' see what I mean? Yes it does take sooo much more patients but after a bit they get it. And I dont just tell tehm 'NO' and thats the end of it, and only give them 1 other option, I try to give them at least 2 other options to choose from. I just try to think about how I would feel if I was being told NO all the time and not really being given another choice. And whenever I wanna yell at my kids, I try to stop and think 'how would I feel, if I were (however old) and I had someone much bigger then me yelling at me all the time and TELLING me what to do or not to do all throughout the day. I just think children need more so, guidence as opposed to 'rules'. I can only speak from my personally thoughts and experience with my own children. But staying calm and giving choices rather the giving orders absolutely works to my benifit. I really hope I was at least a little bit helpful.... Good Luck! :) (and also 2 and 3yrs old are just rough ages in general...they are just trying to find their voice and their 'nitch' around those ages so they of course are going to be testy) Just hang in there, it may feel like it gets worse before it gets better, but believe me, when it gets better, it gets REALLY SO MUCH BETTER AND EASIER! (also, at 2.8 kids are pretty muhc grown out of 'nap time' so maybe not try to make him nap everyday...he may be giving you a hard time for the simple fact that hes just not into the whole nap thing anymore, he prolly doesnt need a nap) Like I said, I can only speak from my own experience with my own children, Not in anyway trying to tell you that your right or wrong or anything... :)