What if you think you want another child, but your husband doesn't?

Nichole - posted on 02/04/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My son is 8 years old. I love him dearly and think I'd be okay with having just one child, but at the same time I'd love to try for a little girl. I'm 34 and my husband is 40. He has 3 kids from his previous marriage, son 22 incl. granddaughter 2, daughter 21, and daughter 13. They live in a different state so I am not very close to them. My husband doesn't want any more children. He'll give you the long list of excuses - his main excuse always being kids are too expensive. We aren't rich by any means, but we are by no means poor either. We a normal middle class family. Part of me says, yeah, you don't want to have to deal with diaper changes, spit up, and sleepless nights again, but the other part of me says I'd like to get pregnant once more. Do any of y'all find yourselves in a similar situation? How are you dealing with it? For those of you that wanted more children, but chose not to have more, any regrets? I'd love to hear your stories.

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[deleted account]

I'm not in your situation, my husband wants a son so we're trying for #2.  But I have a friend who wants another baby, but her husband is dead set against it.  She's tried talking to him about the benefits of having your siblings close in age to you and how she enjoyed growing up with 2 sisters, but he really doesn't want any more.  So, at least for now, she's given up on the idea of having any more.  She said that she would rather have 1 child that they both love and raise together than be a single mom to 2 children.

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Ericka - posted on 03/17/2009

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i have a 28 month old little boy. and my husband doesnt want more, and i think i do, but i know the time is not right.



you will always have a regret or 2, whether you have more or not. enjoy the one you have, and wait and see what falls into your lap in the future. perhaps your husband will come around.... or not. you cant force your husband to have another child.... that could hurt your marriage. perhaps he could agree to revisit this issue later?

Holly - posted on 03/16/2009

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I am in the same situation....my husband does not have other children, only the one with me but he does not want any more. No matter how much I try to convince him. My daughter is only 18 months and I keep hoping he will change his mind. Sometimes I am o.k. with one sometimes I feel sad. It seems like it would be lonely to be an only child. Hopefully I'll get over it because my husband is very stubborn about this : (

[deleted account]

I have had the same thoughts myself. I have a daughter who will be 10 in april amd I find myself at times wanting to have another child myself. sometimes it makes me sad my daughter is an only child because when my husband and I are gone she wont have anyone.



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Tiffany - posted on 03/14/2009

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My husband always said he didn't want children...well then he met me and my then 2 year old son...and well we were a package deal...he loves us both and I love the fact that he has at least somewhat changed his views on kids and is now a proud stepdaddy to our 5 year old little monster...however he still says 1 is enough and at first I was like no no...lets have one together but he said not right now but that maybe he would change his mind eventually down the road...now there are days when I think well maybe we would be better off with just having the 1 we have but then there are the days that I wonder just what a baby made by me and him would look like..I currently am using the mirena IUT..it is good for 5 years so I guess in 4 years when I go to have it taken out we will see where things stand then as far as if the idea of a baby would be a good idea or not.After we got married I even told him that if he knew he really didnt want us to have a baby then I should go get my IUT taken out and he could get a vastectomy...lol...he wasn't to keen on that idea though...lol...I love my hubby and I love our little man and I could be completely happy with just having the two awesome guys I have but yeah somedays that little voice speaks louder in my head then other days...doesnt help that I work at a kids indoor inflatable party center so I see babies and little ones on a daily basis...of course on the crazy busy nights at work when the kids are just not listening I thank god that I do only have one...and Nichole...trying for a girl could cause you to end up with many boys before getting that one girl....my sister kept trying for a son and had three daughters before she had my nephew and I had a cousin that kept trying for a boy and had 4 daughters before getting her son!!So to answer your last question about any regrets...the answer is no.

Sam - posted on 02/05/2009

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my daughter is almost 4 and i have been begging to have another child for 3 years. my partner has 2 other children which i love as my own and we see them often.



i have finally made him come around to the idea but only when the time is right!! i don't want to wait any longer. He is 8 years older than me and even tho i am only 24 i dont like the idea of having to wait and may be in my 30's till i have another 1! what if i want more after that?



I love my daughter so much and i know having more kids would benefit both of us, she's always asking for a baby, she even wanted to bring home 1 of my friends twins because it wasnt fair that she got to have 2 and we didnt have any lmao.



i really think that if there is the slightness of u wanted another baby you should definately explore ur feelings, u dont want to wake up regreting not having more when ur too old x

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