I feel so so sad and scared for my daughter

Crystal - posted on 11/30/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 7 her biological father an I had her during a 1 1/2 year relationship togather.We split when she was 9 months old and when she was 3 she started visits with her bio dad on the weekends evrything was great for a year then we found out that she was being sexually abused by her bio dad an step brother, he was found guilty through division of family services and we r still waiting for something to happen to make them pay for what they did to her..she was abused again by her grandfather when she was 6 and what is so so terrible is she remembers all of it and she is in counseling 2 times a week and I feel lost I feel I have failed her in some way...I love♥ my little girl more than I can exspress in words.I hate the law and court system in MO, her bio dad is trying to get visits with her through the courts and I think there going to make me let her go for visits and I am going to have to flee with her..

I cant stop crying and im so depressed and just dont know what to do.....

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4 Comments

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Suzanne - posted on 05/26/2010

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Oh Crystal, I so know how you feel. I am going through the same horrible situation. My son is now 4 1/2 years old. His bio father along with his nephew have been sexually abusing my son also. He was heavily supervised with my son until he was 3 years old. But then the courts handed my son on a silver platter to his father. Just recently my son told me that his father and cousin were sexually abusing him while neighbourhood boys watched. Children's Aid Society ( I am from Canada), police, children's first, doctors, lawyers, psychologist, you name it, know about the abuse. The judicial system over here is horrible too. I went against a court order to protect my son because no one else would. Now I am up for a jail sentence and my son could be given to his father for full custody. What the hell??? Isn't that horrible that we are pushed into fleeing with our children because no one wants to listen!!! Good luck!!!

Crystal - posted on 01/14/2010

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No, I will not run if I do not feel i need to. But I think it is an instinct of protecting your child...I understand there are laws that have to be followed and step by step procedures that the courts like to put you through but honestly who the hell do the courts and lawyers think they are,? how dare they try to decide what is right for my child. I know that there are lots of parents that have falsely accussed men/woman for sexual abuse and that is why the courts are so stiff now, but I do not understand when you have the proof and all the proffessionals she has went to and the cops she has talk to and told them what happened, why is hi nasty ass not in jail, what if he is doing this to other children? I cant stand this......

Holly - posted on 01/12/2010

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Crystal, I am in somewhat of the same boat. My 5 month old baby girl's bio dad is alledged sex offender. Two years ago his step daughter accused him of some very detailed things. And he even admitted to me of doing some of things she said. But when it all went to court she plead the fifth. I am thinking it was cause her mother wasn't backing her up 100%.
He is now fighting me for visitation. I am trying everything I can to protect her. Have you tried contacting child protection services? I have been getting them involved in this. I can't have my little girl hurt. I am like you I just feel like running.
The courts are so unfair to our children.

Dana - posted on 12/03/2009

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Crystal ,

your story is so sad ,but all so true with alot of us ! The court systems suck when it come to protecting our children against preditors . x-specialy relitaves, I have some idea on how you feel about fleeing with her ,but don't jump the gun quite so fast . have you pationed the courts about the abuse & atleast ask them that it will be better for her & you that they do supervised visitation . I know you don't want to do that ,but you have to play there game . If you flee with her you could lose her :( , I have thought of the same thing is to flee , but I choose not too. Just stay strong and addimate about your quest to protect your precious little girl . Please try to appeal a supervised visitation , And when you do ask that it be with some one you trust to do this not a court appointed person , If they say thay have to do it with a person they choose them be forceful about someone you choose to be there too. I know this will be hard , but maybe going this route will show them how she needs to not see him ! This is all I can say I really don't know what else to suggest to you for help . Just please stay strong , and please think about both your futures before you do something you can't undo . We are all here for you ♥

Sorry It took me so long to respond I've been very busy lately ,

I try to check this once a week .

Prayers are with you both ♥ .

Dana

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