a child with ODD ( oppositional defiancy disorder) any info as i dont know what this means

Sarra - posted on 09/05/2011

This is for Helen's reply-- I work with students with cognitive impairments. It is very common for autism to be misdiganosed in girls. Girls are more likely to get Ashbergers. It is on the autism spectrum, but affects girls differently then boys.

Tanya - posted on 09/05/2011

Does anyone know if this can carry into adulthood?

Erin - posted on 09/02/2011

I have a child that has been diagnosed with ODD as well as ADHD....Reading Your Defiant Child (Riordan)...it's more of a what you can do kind of book, but I have found it extremely helpful. Good luck to you...know you are on a rough journey...Erin (http://thepuzzlekids.com/?p=228)...a blog I write about my two boys if your interested. Good luck!!!

Yvonne - posted on 02/07/2010

Probably she has a few things, they often co-exist.

Helen - posted on 02/06/2010

Hi there i have a 16 year old girl with autism and i have been reading all of these replies here about ODD and read the symptons and my daughter has all of them.Is it possible that she has got ODD instead of autism.

Rhonda - posted on 02/06/2010

My son seems to have all the above characteristics of ODD. This has been so inspiritational...reading all the posts!! I feel like finally I've found folks who really understand what we are going thru. I am interested in any books at all that I could read on helping these children and young adults. Thank you...

Yvonne - posted on 02/06/2010

Managing Oppositional Defiant Disorder- Avoid conflict if at all possible!

This worked for me, I began when my child was about 5 or 6. 5 years later we have avoided a lot of potential problems and the oppositional/defiant behaviour isn't an issue any more.
Starting at age 14 will be "challenging" to say the least.
ODD, ADHD, learning disability and high IQ often co-exist, this can be a nightmare for parents if not understood and managed well.

Telling a kid who is oppositional to do something makes them want to do the exact opposite. They can't help that response, so give them choices- its much easier for them, then they don't have that knee jerk "no" response. Stop saying "you must", try using " what do you think?" . or "how shall we?". Its a good way to avoid conflict.

Choice is very important for them, - get smart and manipulate them, it is much easier. They will be happier and cooperative if they think they are choosing rather than being ordered.

ODD kids love conflict, they feel really contented and happy after a huge fight, the rest of the family are traumatised and the instigator feels great ; I think its related to an increase in dopamine and maybe cortisol levels.

To avoid the conflict that they often seek , firstly you have to remember that they are actually looking for a fight to help them feel better. (they are not mean nasty or cruel, they just feel bad, and fighting (stimulation) makes them feel good. Understand this, and their unpleasant behaviour makes a lot of sense) Other forms of stimulation can replace a fight.
tickles, joking, chasing, surprises etc etc,

Techniques to avoid determined conflict
1. avoid eye contact,(v important)
2. change the subject, (try anyway)
3 distract them (they eventually catch onto this tactic)
4. leave the room to make a cup of tea, refuse to engage, delay.
5 run away asap, if they come looking for a fight. This is very effective, if they can't find or catch you, they can't fight with you, or get negative attention from you.

My poor little aggressive spitfire becomes loving tearful and apologetic. Its not hard to work out that being nasty drives people away, if you refuse to engage and escape they just feel worse and look for comfort, this can lead to fruitful communication and understanding.

Try saying " I will discuss this once you have run 1km on the treadmill" Exercise can be a useful alternative stimulation..

Taking responsibility for their defiant choices also gives them pause, natural consequences that they have created helps them to learn to make better choices
. ie pocket money is given for completing chores- no chores, no money, no recriminations, "gee I wish you had done your chores, then I could give you your pocket money" No fighting.

Being smug or nagging is counterproductive, sympathy works much better, feel sorry for them, but still empower them by allowing them to manage their own poor choice outcomes.

Low self esteem is a real problem, difficult kids get lots of negative attention.
Trying love, cuddles and nurturing is often difficult (often they are not very loveable) but has a very positive effect, praise tends to turn behaviour around.

This is very easy to say but often difficult to do, particularly if you tend to be ODD yourself.(it is hereditary, conflict might make you feel good too, but your child's self esteem will suffer because nasty things tend to get said in the heat of an argument)

Try to ignore people who don't understand what you are dealing with, they tend to think physical punishment helps. You can't hit your child all day every day. Save it for life threatening issues like running away defiantly when it is dangerous. Managing ODD kids using a lot of physical punishment has poor outcomes.

Add ADHD to this disorder then your child is a lot harder to manage because then they are also impulsive, easily frustrated and a lot more difficult to deal with for lots of reasons.

Lots of people are ODD-like, it can actually be a terrific assett.

Autumn - posted on 02/05/2010

My daughter also has been diagnosed ODD,ADHD,BP1,learning disibilities,depression and anxiety,I think that's all..But I noticed the change real bad when she was almost 7 when her dad passed away and I've read that life changing events such as loss can trigger the mood disorders especially if it runs in the family and in my case it does unfortunately..She was very violent and defiant and couldn't be controlled untill she finally went to residential treatment and they adjusted her meds and since shes been home (last Aug.) with theropy and her meds,consistancy and stability since ive remarried she is so much better..Though the meds do not cure them the right ones help along with everything else..But like the others have said make sure you are consistant most of all and be firm but don't yell because it will make it worse especially with my daughter because her hearing is also sensitive..Good luck to all of you i know its not easy.

Kelly - posted on 02/05/2010

I have a son who is about to turn 16. He has been diagnosed with the same. It seem to run along side of being bi-polar. They almost mimick each other. ADHD can factor in as well. We have had him in behavioral hospitals to help control it. As long as he takes his medication he functions very normally. Otherwise, he is violent, destructive, disresepectful to all adults, to include teacher, parents, and siblings. It almost seems like he can turn it on and off when he wants something or something will benefit him. He doesn't do well in school, not because he can't, because he won't. It has been a huge struggle and continues to be. The only thing you can do is take it one day at a time, sometimes and hour at a time. If they put your daughter on meds, they will help and it may take several tries to get her on the right one. As she grows, her meds will have to change and so may the dosage. At first she will seem like a zombie until the meds get into her system and regulate. The hardest part of that is getting her to stay on them. Go online and read everything you can about all of it...ODD, Bi-polar and ADHD. You will actually be amazed and confused too. Print it out if you can and take it with you to the doctors office. Make sure that she is seeing a therapist/psycologist not just a medical doctor. I hope some of this helps. I know it is a struggle and then some. There is a lot of great advise on here. Best of luck to you!

Cheryl - posted on 02/04/2010

thanks Karen will do. My son is currently on Meds for ADHD and his aggressive ODD. we are also waiting to see a social worker through the Mental Health Centre so hopefuly we get one soon...I agree with what you said. It does get worse as they get older. I see that with each passing year. I am also in a more difficult place trying to get my husband (his stepfather) and him to get along. Very frustrating.

Janice - posted on 02/03/2010

My son was Dx'd with this about 10 years ago. He can be what we lovingly call a PITA! (LOL) First things first, breathe don't lose yourself. This does get better.(easier to handle!) I never thought that he would be able to even graduate high school, not only did he graduate but with a 3.6! I never thought in a million years could he hold down a job. (he's on 6 months!) Do NOT give up hope, don't let them be treated special, as they are humans with all the faults that we all have. (If I was born in this age I would be Dx w/ ODD, ADHD, ect) I really don't know how to tell you anything other than take this one day at a time. These kids do seem to have a habit of getting into some addictive behaviors(I went and got a pee test and stuck it on the fridge for any questions) Let them know their expectations and bounderies (Just like life will give them) Don't worry about what they think of you, you love them and you DO what is best , although they may not like it. When they are older they will thank you(although it will be in their own special way!) Janice

Tiffany - posted on 02/03/2010

I also have a 14 year old daughter who was diagnosed with ADHD/ODD, and she is a handful. I also have three other daughters one older and two younger. To answer in a simple way my daughter is very smart and exceeds in school when she can complete her homework and turn it in on time, but she often forgets to bring the book home she needed. She tends to lose or misplace papers, has a hard time meeting deadlines. And usually waits to the night before to start a big project. While in school she oftens needs to get up whether for the restroom or to see the nurse and any reason she can think of. Her locker is a mess with no organizaton at all. But she has been on a Section 504 Plan it's under the Disabilities Act, and I'm her advocate at the meeting with her teachers and school social worker and we review what accomodations that she needed to achieve in school, such as seating assignment, extra time for tests. or anything else. She is in a supervised study hall and the teacher helps her once a week clean and organize her locker. But now add in ODD, for me it's a daughter who seems she has no manners, annoys her little sisters, mean to her friends, and tends to get smart with adults. I'll say brush your teeth, she says no. I say blue she says green. I have learned that she does require different treatment from my other daughters which is why we have attended meeting s in our community and my daughter was taking meds for quite some time and seeing a behavioral therapist. She is now doing okay with the meds and the therapy. Although I have to be consistent is dealing with her behaviors. I'm doing my own behavior modification system with her, because she needs to be aware of what she needs to modify. And overall wehave not reached any milestones, but look forward postively knowing that having ADHD is a gift, you just have to learn how to use it. With ODD pick your battles and you'll see less. Good Luck. Sorry I didn't have time to writie more clearly but I had just sat down and your comment caught my eye.

Jolin - posted on 02/03/2010

all of these are great explainations of the disorder, i hadn't heard of the books mentioned above i will definetly check them out, my son is 13 he has anxiety, ADHA, ODD. it is so hard to get people to understand this is a mental disorder not really the kids fault...they can be so loving caring, yet on the other hand explode for no real reason.

Cindy - posted on 02/03/2010

ODD = Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Does this teen get in trouble a lot? Does she do as she pleases even if she knows the rules? Not just for little things.. but for everything? I am surprised it took until the age of 14. ODD does increase in intensity during the teen years. The experts do not agree yet what causes it. Some say it is inherited. Some say it is caused by environmental factors. Some say it is mental stress. It does lessen in intensity in the mid 20's. People with ODD often have children with ODD. They are at higher risk for serious issues in their lives such as drugs, bad grades, and even going to jail. There are meds that can be used to help with the impulsiveness of ODD. It takes some time and effort to find the right med and dose. I hope this helps. Seek professional help and ask lots of questions until you understand everything! Good luck.

Karen - posted on 02/03/2010

Cheryl you should check out the two books I suggested in my message right above. They will help you TREMENDOUSLY. It will change the whole dynamic in your house and improve everyone's life. No, I don't get a cut on the books (ha, ha), I just know so many ppl who have read them and they have changed their lives.

Also,it is our responsibility as parents to teach them how to be productive, respectful adults in society before they leave home. With the kids that have ODD we have to take this roll even more serious. These kids are going down a bad, bad path without help in some way.

Believe me you can't wish it a way or say "He will get better when he's older". It gets 100x worse as they get older without intervention of some kind. I'm glad to see so many parents on here who are looking for ways to help their kiddos at an early age. It's the kids whose parents aren't on here or online somewhere else learning about ODD that I worry about. They are innocent victims of an illness that they can't help or understand. Those are the ones that will end up on drugs or in jail.

Cheryl - posted on 02/03/2010

Hi. I have a son with ADHD and ODD...ODD means that they will argue about anything and everything. Usually it stems from some need to be in control of their situations. My son will argue till hes blue in the face about anything, even if hes wrong and he knows hes wrong it dosent matter. Best of luck to you hope everything goes well and you can figure it out

Karen - posted on 02/03/2010

Amber did a great job explain what ODD is. I'm sure that must have helped you a great deal. I agree whole heartedly with the mom who said that you MUST get her treatment as soon as possible. The majority of these teens turn to drugs and alcohol because it can sometimes calm this constant fight or flight feeling they have. This is also the group at school that "accepts" them when others won't due to their difficult personalities.

I have two children with neurological disorders and it is very trying on the whole family, but I constantly remember that it has got to be hell to be them as well. It is hard enough to be a teen without a neurological illness. to have this on top of it is really rough. Continue to hug them and tell them you love them even when it is so hard to do. They may turn away from you when you try and hug them, but it actually means more to them than they are letting you know.

Someone mentioned there are no meds for ODD. This is not correct. There are mood stabilizers that can work wonders on ODD and Bipolar patients. Often it is a combo of meds that do it. You will have to be patient though. The brain chemicals are different in everyone so there is not one med that works on every ODD person. It is often trial and error for awhile until they find the right one that works for her. Don't get discouraged though. She also needs to realize it may not be the first med that works. In addition, these meds often take a few weeks to kick in. Don't think she is going to take a pill and feel better over night.

As far as doctors, the best I have found is the Chief of Neuropsychiatry or Chief of Psychiatry at Children's Hopspial. If you do not feel that the doc you are going to see knows "his stuff" then I would highly recommend you call your closest Childrens Hospital and make an appt with one of these two ppl. Yes it will take a long time to get such an appt, but it is worth it. It is imperative that you are with a doc that knows these illnesses and meds inside and out.
Once you have a diagnosis please, please go on line and pull up EVERYTHING you can about the illness. You are your child's advocate at school and at these doctors appts. You also need to understand the illness inside and out so that you can tell whether the doc has a handle on it. It is also imprt so that you "get" what is going on inside your child's brain and also learn tactics as far as what you can do at home to help her. She also needs to understand why her brain works the way it does.

Once you have a diagnosis bring this diagnosis in writing and a letter requesting that your school do a full "Psycho Educational Evaluation, Speech and Language Testing and OT testing on her. If she is having disobedience problems at school definetly request an "FBA" (functional behavior assessment) as well. This will prevent her from getting suspended or sent to the principals office. Google this so that you understand what it is. Many kids with Nuero issues also have issues in S&L and often OT. All of these tests will pinpoint what her strengths and weakness are in school and how the diagnosis may be affecting her learning. Once this is completed you will use those results to get her accommodations at school to help her. These accommodations are written up into a 504 or IEP Plan for her at school by the school psychologist. This will help her tremendously!

Go to www.wrightslaw.com to find more info on these two plans as well as what the test results show. For a list of accommodations go to www.ADDitudemag.org. This is actually an ADHD site, but there is a TON of info on 504's and accommodations there as well. A 504 can change your child's life at school!!

Be sure you go into the 504 or IEP meeting well educated on your child's illness, what her tests results mean, and a list of accommodations you want for her. They will take you MUCH more seriously if you are educated on all of these. If you walk in and let them run the whole meeting you will walk out of there with the bare minimum as far as accommodations. The schools want to do the bare minimum and they will unless you go in their confident and knowing your "stuff".

By the way, once you put in the letter to the school requesting all of this testing the school has 60 days by law to get these tests done. Call them about two weeks later to follow up on your letter and ask when they are going to begin the testing. This will also let them know you are one the ball.

Lastly, there are two books to read. "The Explosive Child" and "The Answer is NO.Say it and other Skirmishes". Both are outstanding and must reads if you have a child with ODD or other mood disorders.
This is a lot of info, but there are so many parents that don't know about 504's, IEP's and FBA's are available for their kids at school. The schools rarely offers to do these tests/assessments because it is more work for them. These can make a difference between your child thriving at school and failing at school. It is not just their personal self esteem you have to worry about. If their academic self esteem goes down personal will follow. These results can be devastating. Depression, drugs and alcohol abuse.

Best of luck at your doctors appt coming up! Hope this helps a bit.

Allison - posted on 02/03/2010

they posted some good info. I have a 7 year old diagnosed ODD. Good luck

Michele - posted on 02/02/2010

My daughter was also hearing voices.. but it was the devil talking to her and monsters that is when she was diagnosed with the psychosis... I know it is tough.. the best thing I can say to you is to not give up... dont let her see you cry because then she knows she has that leverage on you and to stick to your guns... Follow through with your punishments... If you tell her that if she does such and such again you are going to take snacks away for so long.. do it... If you say that she is in time out then make sure she does it.. when at the peak of your patience give yourself a mommy time out.. not long maybe 3 minutes to calm yourself down.. I know how hard it can be.....

Jacqueline - posted on 02/02/2010

I have a girl who is 4 and she was diagose with odd last year had so many problems at day care and at school she hated for me to tell her no she do it any ways and i was told that if you stay ahead of her you will beable to control her behavior. The day vare she was at couldnt handle her and i was always getting bad reports that she wouldnt listen and was the child always on the wrong side of the room when all the other kids were asleep she was the only one up all crazy, She is alote of work and puts a toll on the family. We also think that her having allergies to food may play a role in how she behaves. She has a lote of allergies to deal with at being so young. so if she was to accidently eat something she go bannanas and be a whole diff person had her head checked out for seizures which came back negative i was told she is going to be a challenge to me because she may be borderline ADHD ALSO but to young to go thru the test cause she only 4 and now i have to hear there are voices in her head that she cant go to sleep like everyone else cause they singing to her.we are going thru therapy for this but i sometimes feel like people once they get around her and know her she acts out when she get comfortable around them and they end up not wanting to baby sit its hard

Michele - posted on 02/02/2010

Hi Ladies! I have a daughter who is 13 and has been diagnosed with bi-polar w/psychosis, odd,, adhd, ocd... She makes life very difficult.. it is very frustrating and takes a toll on the whole family... I have even gone to school to try to figure out how to help i will be getting my Associates in human services and will continue on to get my bachelors in psychology.. I understand the frustration you ladies are feeling.... sometimes it feels like a hopeless situation. My daughter has been hospitalized five times in about a two year span.. all with little to no improvement.. she has destroyed her entire room tearing doors off and putting holes in the wall..... We have had therapy and gone through five psychologists and five psychiatrists... If you all ever need a friend my email is momof3monsters76@yahoo.com... You all are not alone though I know it feels like it......

Michelle - posted on 02/01/2010

i have a son with odd also and i've learned that when you have a disagreement with him, the best thing to do with him is talk calmly to him as much as you want to scream at him cause he will get more agressive, he hasn't laid a finger on me to hurt me but has to his step dad one time but thats it and now my husband, his step dad, knows now to talk calmly to him also and if it gets to the point where he feels like yelling, he will walk out of the room for a breather. hope this helps. i'm still learning how to cope with it also, just got the diagnosis about 2 months ago so i don't know too much.

Heather - posted on 02/01/2010

Amy I hope your son is in a good hospital and can get the help he needs. Some mood stabilizing medicines can also help with ODD. I have 2 sons that are diagnosed with the exact same things as your son. My oldest was in the hospital 3 times last year from April till September. The frist hospital did more harm than good and it took 2 different stays at a second hospital to get him stable. Everything has gone well since then. Just make sure you have a choice of hospitals you are informed about them before making a choice. Good Luck.

Amy - posted on 01/31/2010

well my son is 8 1/2 and has been diagnosed with ADHD/ODD/Bipolar...there is NO meds for ODD unfortunately. Just stability, setting strict limits in a calm manor and LOTS of structure. My son has now been hospitalized twice within that last 2 months...in fact he has been in for the last month and it SUCKS!

Amber - posted on 01/31/2010

ODD is a condition in which a child displays an ongoing pattern of uncooperative, defiant, hostile, and annoying behavior toward people in authority. The child's behavior often disrupts the child's normal daily activities, including activities within the family and at school.



Many children and teens with ODD also have other behavioral problems, such as attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, learning disabilities, mood disorders (such as depression), and anxiety disorders. Some children with ODD go on to develop a more serious behavior disorder called conduct disorder.



Symptoms of ODD may include:



Throwing repeated temper tantrums

Excessively arguing with adults

Actively refusing to comply with requests and rules

Deliberately trying to annoy or upset others, or being easily annoyed by others

Blaming others for your mistakes

Having frequent outbursts of anger and resentment

Being spiteful and seeking revenge

Swearing or using obscene language

Saying mean and hateful things when upset

In addition, many children with ODD are moody, easily frustrated, and have a low self-esteem. They also may abuse drugs and alcohol



The exact cause of ODD is not known, but it is believed that a combination of biological, genetic, and environmental factors may contribute to the condition.



Biological: Some studies suggest that defects in or injuries to certain areas of the brain can lead to serious behavioral problems in children. In addition, ODD has been linked to abnormal amounts of special chemicals in the brain called neurotransmitters. Neurotransmitters help nerve cells in the brain communicate with each other. If these chemicals are out of balance or not working properly, messages may not make it through the brain correctly, leading to symptoms of ODD, and other mental illnesses. Further, many children and teens with ODD also have other mental illnesses, such as ADHD, learning disorders, depression, or an anxiety disorder, which may contribute to their behavior problems.

Genetics: Many children and teens with ODD have close family members with mental illnesses, including mood disorders, anxiety disorders, and personality disorders. This suggests that a vulnerability to develop ODD may be inherited.

Environmental: Factors such as a dysfunctional family life, a family history of mental illnesses and/or substance abuse, and inconsistent discipline by parents may contribute to the development of behavior disorders.



Estimates suggest that 2%-16% of children and teens have ODD. In younger children, ODD is more common in boys. In older children, it occurs about equally in boys and in girls. It typically begins by age 8.



Treatment for ODD is determined based on many factors, including the child's age, the severity of symptoms, and the child's ability to participate in and tolerate specific therapies. Treatment usually consists of a combination of the following:



Psychotherapy: Psychotherapy (a type of counseling) is aimed at helping the child develop more effective ways to express and control anger. A type of therapy called cognitive-behavioral therapy aims to reshape the child's thinking (cognition) to improve behavior. Family therapy may be used to help improve family interactions and communication among family members. A specialized therapy technique called parent management training (PMT) teaches parents ways to positively alter their child's behavior.

Medication: While there is no medication formally approved to treat ODD, various drugs may be used to treat some of its distressing symptoms, as well as any other mental illnesses that may be present, such as ADHD or depression



If your child is showing signs of ODD, it is very important that you seek care from a qualified doctor immediately. Without treatment, children with ODD may experience rejection by classmates and other peers because of their poor social skills and aggressive and annoying behavior. In addition, a child with ODD has a greater chance of developing a more serious behavioral disorder called conduct disorder. When started early, treatment is usually very effective.



I hope this helps you. I wish you the best of luck. :)

Margaret - posted on 01/30/2010

If you Google ODD it will show a bunch of different websites that explain what it is, how it is diagnosed and treated.

Chontea - posted on 01/29/2010

My 13 year old son is diagnosed with ODD it is a pattern of disobedient and or hostile,

and defiant behavior toward authority figures. I hope this helps a little and stay strong.