agression in child thats mantally challenged

Lisa - posted on 06/27/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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as i write this i am broken hearted. we have a 16 year old son that we adopted when he was 7. he has been in our lives since he was 1. i was his pedi nurse at the time he was placed in foster care. he was a failure to thrive{in this case ment mom didnt feed}wonderful foster home for 16 months then sent back home due to error where birth mom's rights where violated they forgot to give her a piece of paper and get her to sign.so i continued to do nursing he had a trach and other problems.so we would keep him over the weekend and such. then when he no longer qualified for nursing care then we would keep him for weeks at a time.anyway when he was 7 he was left alone and found wondering the streets. taken into cps custody again.mom didnt report him missing until 4 hours. we got he as a kin ship placement that means no 1 in her family could care for him.so now he's 16 he had agreesion problems is in a behavior school they are calling it post tramatic stress syndrome.he is small statured about 4feet 10 and weight about 165. 99% of the time he is the most kind loving passive child but that 1% is crazy he has to be restained.u don't know when it will happen or why' he does have big issues with food and sneaking it No he doesn't have prader willie.the other day i was watching my 3 month old granddaughter{we are extra careful he is never left in the room alone or allowed to touch her without us right there}the baby had pooped everywhere so i changed her and put her in the middle of king size bed she only had a diaper on he was in the room but about 3-4 feet from bed in the blink of a eye he had onto bed and stapped her flat on the back as hard as a adult would hit i was scared and picked up phone to call dad to get home i was yelling baby screaming and it was my son the baby dad not my husband. he and my husband got home at same time our son called police. the police theapist his teacher whom i called knew what to do. i am devistated that this happened but my son is saying we have to pick that our 16 is a danger to every1 he does hit us to.he is the only child left in our home.we are so upset we want the best for all.that night we call hospitals per ppl request but with his age and disability none could help. i feel so alone like im being force to choose.our middle son is coming home this week before he's being deployed in august and is angry that we are even concidering placement.he have done 5 years of plAY THERAPY he is very verbal but can't say whats the problem but how many 3 year old can.we don't know what the answer is. i feel that unless 2 adult around he cant be in room with baby but son saying if we dont place him long term we have choosen and will not see the baby anymore.

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Lisa - posted on 07/09/2009

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we are still so frustated as we look for day treatmant for our son. we keep being told if he where not mentally challenged there are lots of treatment programs but non for kids like him.so sad because he will soon be 17 then considered an adult so futher incidents maybe handled with court even with him being disabled. crazy as it is he has criminal charges AGainst him right now they will most likely be dropped because of his disability. even the mental health for mentally challenged kids has no answers.we thought thats why we where using their services. over all very frustrating for all. thanks for the support. it helps to vent

Kathy - posted on 07/01/2009

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We have had similiar issues though not as involved. It is very hard, and scary because we know they don't always know/understand what they are doingg/why themselves & can't control easily- but others don'talways see it that clearly (like we do) and when our kids get older its a whole new ballgame. My 15 yr old is a lot better. For us it was the help of meds that help with anxiety and impulsiveness , pecs pics, a speech device, and lots and lots of patience and hugs. He was diagnosed with Sensory disrder that in his case affects his ability to communicate when he's stressed- he shuts down verbally- so the speech device great!)When they are dev. delayed ( as my son is- its unclear about yours) its even harder- a young mind in a grown up body. We are also very selective in what we do and who he's around- We've learned (as you all have) that certain situations are best done in small increments if at all. I'm sorry that you had the experience that you did.I feel for you all. I know how you feel about placement. I share the same opinions- but wonder if perhaps a part time day placement (especially in the summer) might be beneficial to him- though you already have him in a school...Its a tough road to walk, and bless you for choosing to.

Judith - posted on 06/30/2009

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Oh, I know. I really do. I have to watch my daughter everywhere we go. She is so strong, and she don't realize it. I also asked DHR here for help before she was 18 and they told me they could not do anything because it was child on child abuse.Now she is 18 and they said they could not do anything. There are definately flaws in the system. Have a good evening and know there are people who understand, Wish I could offer more help.

Lisa - posted on 06/30/2009

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judith thanks for the support. seems like so few ppl understand. he is on meds.it's so sad because we are more and more worried about his outburst and what if he hits someone at church or school that doesn't understand.now as we talked to ppl about resourses cps got called and my son and his wife are being told if they let the baby back in our home they will take the baby because they would be neglectful parents.we ask them for help and the knock u down. crazy system

Judith - posted on 06/28/2009

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Lisa, I can offer support and understanding. I have an 18 year old daughter. She is MR and ADHD. For the most part she is very loving, but she has an impulsive side that can be mean. I also have a 5 year old son and a 15 year old daughter. My 15 year old can take care of herself when a conflict arises between her sister and her. My son can't. She has hit him, picked him up and dropped him.I guess I found that we just keep her occupied or make her go to her room. There are some medicines out here that help with impulsiveness. A lot of it is being a teenager.I have trouble with my normal one lashing out too.Just keep a positive thought and love in your heart. Have a good day.

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