ANY ADVICE..10 yr oldson with bipolor, autism, tourettes, adhd and more....

Heather - posted on 02/26/2010

I have not dealt with these particular things, but have done a lot of research on diet and how this affects our health. I know for sure that diet plays a HUGE role in ppl with autism and even adhd. If you want the info, please msg me at my email familieswithhope@gmail.com. This email is also a support group system that my husband I started when our daughter was diagnosed with her many heath challenges. I know, based on my research, that diet plays a large role in many health challenges that ppl face today. I have a friend who has a daughter with autism and they changed her diet and noticed a significant change in her.

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!
Heather

Lorie - posted on 02/26/2010

Once medication is changed it's like starting all over again. You need to talk to the doctor and get the prescription changed. If he won't change it, I'd get a new doctor.

In regards to his behavior, children who act out are trying to communicate something. I found when my son is acting up, I ask him what's wrong. Many times he doesn't know and starts talking about his frustrations. After some time, I narrow it down to the source of the problem. It may be something you want to hear or something you don't.

Just remember, often children act out because they are trying to say something, especially children with autism and Asbergers. So talk to him. I know you have 5, but you need to find the time.

Also, do you spend time with him on a weekly basis? I mean quality time, doing something he enjoys. If not, this is vital. If he loves to play chess, play a game with him. If you don't know how to play whatever he enjoys, learn it from someone. But don't expect your son to teach you as he may become impatient. And I wouldn't recommend movies or video games, unless it's a two player, as there's really no interaction.

It's also important to make sure you don't treat him "special" in the aspect of making everything revolve around him. First, this won't help him and second, the other kids will get frustrated. Consistency is very important. Also, say what you mean. They will test you. If you say, "I'm going to give you a time out." then do it. Say what you mean and mean what you say by following through with it. Otherwise it's best not to say it. Hold your breath and count to ten in your head if you have to. It's never good to be easy on him and harder on the others. You may have to say it more to him than the others, because he is a special needs kid; however, they will pick up on that. Give the others the same grace and they will respect you more. I had to do this with my daughter as she picked up on that we were giving our special needs son more time.

Kids need continuous redirection. Keep redirecting, but with patience, yet firmness. And then praise him when he does this. It's amazing what words of affirmation does. Redirecting is very important. I've learned this from my son's therapist and it works like magic. Also, give him notify him that he has five minutes left on the games or whatever he's doing. And put on a timer. He will fight at first. But if you do this consistently, over time he will adapt and accept. But don't give up on whatever method you use, otherwise it's like starting all over again. Talk it over with your husband and decide on methods you want to use for all of your children. And back each other up. When kids see they can't go to the other to get away with their behavior, eventually they give up and surrender. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. They make great actors and actresses too. lol. I tell my son, "Spare me the pity party and do what your dad said!"

Best wishes

Heather - posted on 02/25/2010

I don't think you can have the same expectations for any child who is unstable. Once his meds are tweaked and effective, then it's different. But, right now his illness is controlling him and it's not fair to him to hold him to expectations that are setting him up for failure.

My experience has been that unless they've lived with a child with mental illness, people do not understand. These kids don't want to, and aren't trying to, be bad. If I listened to everything I've heard over the years, I would have spent the last 15 years running in circles trying to please everyone. My responsibility is to my child - not my bf, not the school (makes me very unpopular with the school...hehe), not family, no one.

You said the school doesn't understand. Does your son have an IEP?

Iridescent - posted on 02/25/2010

You need to be consistent between all the kids. That said, if it means he'd be in trouble all day every day, maybe it's time to sit down with him and talk instead of the full punishment. Ask if he knows what the problem is (why he's acting out) or not, if he can think of anything he'd enjoy that would help him calm down (drawing might help), and try to treat the cause instead of just reacting to the behavior. If he doesn't know, has he gotten worse lately? It's quite possible his meds are not controlling his feelings and need adjustment. You can explain this to his psychologist and ask for something more appropriate, even if that means clearing his system of ALL meds and starting fresh.