Anyone else have a child diagnosed with Borderline Intelligence or Intellectually Disabled?

Lesa - posted on 02/16/2011 ( 29 moms have responded )

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My son Draven was recently diagnosed with Borderline Intelligence which is a form of an Intellectual Disability. He's also getting tested for ADD. And he's on an IEP, attends special education classes, works with an occupational therapist, etc. Can anyone relate?

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Beth - posted on 02/22/2011

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Oh yes, I can relate! My daughter was diagnosed with this in the 2nd grade. She will turn 23 years old this Friday! What do you want to know, how can I help you? By the way, my daughter Jessica lives on her own, though I am very involved with her life and have to handle her money for paying bills, but she has spending money. She has a drivers license too, after 4 tries, but she lives in a small town and I tell her to limit her driving to that town basically. Do go ahead and apply for SSI for your son, we got denied and had to go in front of a administrative judge who did approve it eventually. What helped was the testing done at a medical clinic, we got a very long report detailing her issues, what she couldn't do and most likely would never be able to do. Send me a message, I can offer more help.

Iridescent - posted on 02/18/2011

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No, not that one. For the bullying, I went the extreme route. I spoke with the school and when they didn't address it I called PACER and reported it to the police. No problems since. To involve him more in the community, we put him in sports with his classmates, and once his classmates saw his parents were friends with their parents, they included him.

Staci - posted on 02/23/2011

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My son is 14 and after many years of being diagnosed incorrectly we found out that he is autistic. I don't pay much attention to IQ scores because for him it depends on the day he is having when he takes the test. After all, he was able to fool doctors for 14 years. (Who has the intelligence factor?) As a family we have been through every school horror there is. We even took out an action against the school system in South Carolina. My son now attends a virtual school called Connections Academy. There is one in most states. It is a FREE, public school that can be taught at home, at your child's own pace and no teasing. Some people say "Isn't your child missing out on the social aspect of school?". I say no because how much fun can you have at school if you are constantly being made fun of. My son left the local schools with a very low average and has had a 99 average for the past 3 years. Virtual school isn't for everyone but you might check into it.

Kiera - posted on 03/02/2011

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Hi Lesa. How old is Draven? My son is only 3 s ohe has not been IQ tested yet but I have a brother (now 30) who is borderline and I suspect my son is as well. Parker is very behind on speech and comprehension, he receives public and private services and has an IEP but I'm not getting a lot of opinions and/or speculation from professionals yet- which is understandable but also somewhat frustrating. Like Beths daughter, my brother lives on his own with substantial help. He holds and job and drives and graduated a large high school ranked somewhere in the middle. He is fairly successful in club sports which keeps him active and social but he doesn't have a large circle of friends. It certainly isn;t an easy thing to deal with. My parents tried very hard to support anything that he showed aptitiude in to build up his self esteem. We plan on doing the same thing for Parker. I have a rough day of it here and there. Maybe because I've seen the challenges first hand and I know how hard it is to find support for this hidden disability. Anyway, I can across your post and just wanted to say that I can relate and any tips that you might have based on Dravens toddler to school transition would be helpful.

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May - posted 1 day ago

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Hi , I have a brother who has been diagnosed since he was a kid as ADHD and now he is 35 we discovered he have , in addition to ADHD, borderline IQ and bipolar disorder. He is very lonely not married, not dating, not working. The only thing he does is exercising everyday. But he started to be awkward socially, his friends does not want to make any effort with him, they have their lives, family kids and work...so now he doesn't go out of the house unless he goes for exercising. My heart is aching feeling helpless.. I really want to make his life easier and more fun but he is not helping me. I really don't know what to do

Cristie - posted on 09/03/2013

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I actually have 3 son's with IEP's all 3 have forms of dyslexia and difficulty in reading. My middle son however, has been diagnosed with PDD (Pervassive Developmental Delayed Autism) , ADHD the inattentive kind which is like a day dreamer, a mood disorder. He has tested borderline retardation however because he can do math they cannot label him as retarded. Thank you Jesus because I tell you why He amazes me every day he is constantly learning and pushing himself to do better. He is 14 and guess what he passed driver's education as one of the highest in the class and he now has his Farm Permit. So never give up let them be your guide, God made them Special for a reason and he entrusted them with Special Parents

Tina - posted on 08/28/2013

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I had Cathy diagnosed 3rd grade though she has been receiving Special Education services since 1st. She has been receiving therapy for social, cognitive and emotional issues since she was in 3rd. I wonder what else i can do to get her the help she needs, in school as well as at home, any ideas anyone? Thanks!

Tina - posted on 08/28/2013

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My daughter Catheryn is 11 and started middle school, 6th grade. She is diagnosed borderline IQ,adhd, and has severe anxiety and suffers from Trichotillomania. My question is, what can i do to get her (academically) the right help in middle school?

Stephanie - posted on 08/22/2013

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Kiera- Your post was very encouraging my 5 year old has been tested at an IQ of 70 and have been very anxious about how her life will be and you have allowed me to see a sure struggle but a future of some kind. That's great. Thank you

Shelia - posted on 08/18/2013

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My son has ADD and a low IQ. I would like to see if he would qualify so I can pay for extra tutors and services. I don't know where to start. Can someone help me?

Beth - posted on 12/10/2012

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Ericka, by funding do you mean SSI? My daughter started to get SSI as a child for her borderline cognitive disability. It was a fight but we got it for her.

Erika - posted on 12/10/2012

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Hi COMS,



From reading your comments, I am now a little confused. My 14yr old girl has an IQ of 72. Which on the scale registers as a borderline ID. Does anyone know if we can get funding for this. And anyone who has the same IQ reading. Do you know whether they are classified as a " Vulnerable persons".? Erika

Donelle - posted on 02/25/2011

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I did go and talk to the Super this morning and was told he would look into the problems. I then further told him that I will have my own paper trail of things that was told to me and the meetings I have had with everyone. This way I have it documented for my records and will send him an email of everything and I told him he needs to put it in a file for his records as well. He did agree to that. So we will see what happens.

Iridescent - posted on 02/24/2011

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Get a child advocate. School staff that aren't helping need to be held accountable and change their approaches.

Beth - posted on 02/24/2011

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I'd talk to the superintendent then if that is the only person left. Your daughter should not be teased and they just tell her to let it go. Haven't they seen the news stories about kids being bullied to the point they kill themselves or others? They need to take a more active approach with your child. If the super won't do anything, try going to a school board meeting and voicing your concerns in public in front of the whole board and other parents, maybe then they will do something!

Donelle - posted on 02/24/2011

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I have talked with pretty much everyone the only one I haven't talked to was the Super of the school district. I got told sticks and stones along with no paper trail to you know kids will be kids and she needs to let things go. I have asked to do assemblies but get shoved to the side. They say they already teach classes with bullying, self esteem and the differences with children and disabilities. I guess I can say I am so frustrated that it seems that nobody really cares about problems. I even asked to come to the school and do role playing have kids be blindfolded for 3hrs and have arms taped to sides and so on and they tell me they already do that. To me if they do this then it would make atleast a few children think differently. I don't think what they do is making a difference. I guess all I can do is keep supporting my child and hope someday nothing bad will happen to her. Just a feeling I have.

Beth - posted on 02/23/2011

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Not sure if the schools would be cooperative with this or not. I think they should have the teachers in each class, or do a assembly of all the students and have someone like the school counselor explain that some students were born differently and they can't help it, and it's not nice to tease them, that it hurts their feelings just like it would hurt them. I sound overly simplistic but you get the idea. Another idea, is there a friend on the bus who can take down names of the offenders for you daughter and report back to the school officials who those kids are?

Donelle - posted on 02/23/2011

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I am a mom with a 13yr old who is having difficulties as well. I am at a loss right now and really don't know what to do. I would like to thank everyone for their posts. Although my daughter has mild MR she is getting teased a lot lately and I think its due to the other kids wanting to see how much teasing and taunting she can take before she explodes. I have talked to both schools and bus drivers and principals. Since we have both public and catholic students riding the same bus she has a hard time keeping names straight and rationalizing on what they are doing to her. I don't like to blame or accuse I like to get all my facts straight first. I just feel like they are taking advantage of her both emotional and mentally. Any advice you can give will be greatly appreciatd. I want to help protect not only my child but others as well. I just don't know what to do.
Lost mom with her hands tied right now.

Kalynn - posted on 02/22/2011

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my foster daughter has FAS, ADHD and an IQ of 65. she is now 12 and we found that putting up signs around the house has helped to remind her of things she has to do. also had trouble with wetting her pants but only during the day, never at night, we found out she had a blockage in her colon, so after a clean out we have not had the problem again.

Renee - posted on 02/20/2011

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I have two daughters. 3 years old and 2 years old. Both have autistic disorder. Speech delays, behavior problems, social delays. While it isnt and "intelligence" delay, it is a "developmental" delay, and can seem like an intelligence delay. So yes, I can relate. They both are getting ready to start at a private school. And they both currently work with OT's Speech Therpists, OT's and they are in ABA services as well. It is daunting, overwhelming, and tiring. If you need to talk, let me know!

Angela - posted on 02/18/2011

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I responded to your twin post Lesa - as mentioned would love to chat with you :D

Lesa - posted on 02/17/2011

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Thank you for sharing all this with me, Amy. Draven sounds like he has some similar challenges to your son. Draven too "forgets" to go to the bathroom. He's very upset and embarassed by the accidents he has. What would you suggest about the bullying and teasing? I am thinking maybe I need to take him to a professional counselor. Does your son go to one?

Iridescent - posted on 02/17/2011

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My oldest is 11. PDD-NOS is a mental disorder on the Autism Spectrum. We were told this week that his verbal skills are quite low, and he's likely not learning anything verbally. Mechanically he does so exceptionally it brought his score total up to average. He also does not understand abstract thought at all. Yes, he did (and occasionally does) have accidents, mostly urine. It helped when we let him start going to the bathroom outside behind the garage, because most of his accidents were due to not wanting to stop playing to come in the house. He also has a problem while playing video games or watching television, so now he's only allowed 30 minutes of those per night. Sitting at the dinner table is another struggle for him with the bathroom. His depression is very likely genetic and related to hormones for puberty starting, but it is severe. He had some depression when he was 3 years, and on an antidepressant at that time for a year, from lack of ability to communicate. He learned to communicate at 4 and his depression then faded, and he came off meds. He is back on them now. He also was getting teased, but it's really stopped after a few chats and some changes in our lives for him. He's feeling more connected to the community and better about himself as a result.

Our other one like this is 3. He'll be 4 next month. I don't know what the guidelines are for applying for disability, but we did.

Lesa - posted on 02/17/2011

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Draven's IQ was a 77 and his spiecial education teacher told me that anything below 75 would allow us to apply for disability services for him. Where I live, we must wait another 3 years before he can be retested. Your son's scores give me some hope for Draven. Did your son also suffer accidents (not making it to the bathroom on time)? Draven is having a really tough time lately. His homework is very difficult for him and takes a great deal of time. Kids have been cruel and this year he's starting to feel "different." He gets teased a lot which is hard for his twin sister whom doesn't have a disability. What is PDD-NOS? I hope things continue to improve for your son. Do you know why he is suffering from depression? How old are your two sons?

Iridescent - posted on 02/17/2011

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Our oldest wasn't diagnosed with this that I'm aware of, at least not specifically, but his IQ was 79-84 from age 2 through age 9. He had been retested yearly without change, and last year it bumped up to 93! And this year, it went to 102! I don't know what changed, but I am very impressed. He also has PDD-NOS, ADHD and depression, and we were told if his depression worsens he must be admitted to the hospital.



Our youngest son has an IQ in the full MR range, although it's not listed on his medical records as such that I'm aware. He also has a ton of co-existing diagnoses. He is the one that is supposed to be receiving a lot of therapy (therapists aren't doing it), going to Pre-K and on an IEP. He requires a 1:1 Para at all times at school as well.



Both these kids have always been and will continue to be in mainstream classes with adaptations.

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