Bad Bathroom Habits

Sharonda - posted on 04/28/2011 ( 18 moms have responded )

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My middle son just turned 9 years old. Okay, I have been dealing with the fact that he is a bed wetter. I'm thinking that he will eventually grow out of it. So my husband and I started buying plastic mattress covering for his bed. Now this has been going on far too long now. He jumps on his mattress when he get excited, and rips the darn plastic up. So now along with the wetting the bed he now holds his bowels until he have practically stink on himself. He tries to wipe himself with wet wipes, and still makes a horrible mess all over his hands and any where in the bathroom. My husband said I baby him too much by cleaning it up, and not making him do it. If he does it he will only make another horrible mess. I have to wash clothes everyday because of this, and he have to take two showers a day. He is intellectually disabled.

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Melanie - posted on 05/03/2011

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I was just reading through this and I want to say Thank You!!!! My son is almost 9 with ASD and we have major issues with him wiping after bowel movements, he will try but never seems to want to or get it all. I will try the wet wipes again and may try the washcloth because for him it's a texture thing. He can't 'feel' the toilet paper so he can't tell what he has cleaned (or not).

Jane - posted on 05/03/2011

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FYI - Oxybutynin is a medication for over-active bladder. It is also called Ditropan, Lyrinel XL and Urotrol. It consists of tolterodine tartrate. It is an antispasmodic. It works by relaxing the bladder muscles to prevent urgent, frequent, or uncontrolled urination. This medication can make it harder for you to cool down when hot, so if you are giving it to your child any sports coaches they have need to know that your child will be more prone to heatstroke than others. There are other side effects as well, most of them minor.

Melisa - posted on 05/02/2011

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Omg, I had the same problem! But I found a solution after so many tests on my 9 year old son, but found a solution!!! He hasn't wet the bed in 4 months! Its called Oxybutynin, which is a generic name so I'm not sure of the real name of it but its amazing! He's had maybe 2 accidents in 4 months. I too babied my son which has made things harder, but keep on working on it and stay strong and consistant! Good luck!

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Jennifer - posted on 03/21/2012

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I can relate to this. My daughter is 12 with ASD and intellectual disability. She recently (past 6 months) has been holding her bowels to the point she can't hold it and ends up messing her underwear and sometimes the toilet seat. I've talked with her about this and have done some re-training and it's getting some better. As far as cleaning up the mess, I've tried engaging my daughter in it and there just ends up being a bigger mess than there was before. The last time she made a mess of the bathroom, I asked her to help me clean it, but to wait until I got back upstairs to the bathroom. I got distracted when the phone rang, and by the time I got back upstairs she had already started the cleanup...using the soiled part of her underwear on the floor and especially the toilet...ai yi yi!!!

Lois - posted on 03/20/2012

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Hi there. It totally depends on the cause of the bedwetting. Has he ever been dry? If not then its primary enuresis which has loads of different causes. What type of disability does he have? Many people who have neurological problems have an underlying cause in the brain which needs sorting out.



Some common causes would include: constipation (makes them hold on to both urine and poos meaning they just go when they can't hold on any longer), sleeping very deeply (brain has not made connection with the bladder to wake the child when he wants to pee at night), SIADH (brain issues causing enuresis), diabetes, and behavioral.



If it's constipation, try exercise, prunes and kiwifruit, increasing his water intake and fibre intake, and laxatives. Many kids need long term laxatives to help prevent chronic constipation.



Definitely speak to your doctor about SIADH and diabetes as well as possible constipation as if he has these he will need treating before you can be successful in having a dry night. Desmopressin nasal sprays are very effective but not a great long term option. I don't believe oxybutynin is licensed for use in children, at least not in my part of the world.



An enuresis alarm has been shown to be very effective - it basically beeps very loudly whenever the child becomes wet which helps to make the connection between the brain and the bladder if it's a deep sleeping issue. most kids are dry within a couple of months of starting to use them.



I hope that gives you a few ideas, but definitely speak to his doctor/paediatrician.

Proud - posted on 03/16/2012

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Dear, i'm in a similar situation as you except my daughter is waaay younger. You just gotta keep trying and telling him NO because your son is older i don't know how you can stop him, my daughter is 11 months but maybe you can supervise him or something whenever he's doing this. good luck

Dorothea - posted on 05/09/2011

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I found plastic covered mattressess at a second hand store. They came out of a collage dorm. You might try and find one of those. As far as the clean up goes, I'd make him do it. We did that once with my son and he's never played with his poop again. I didn't get mad at him, I was level headed and told him that since he made the mess, he had to clean it. He did the best he could, I praised him for the work, and when he finished and left the room, I went over it again just to make sure nothing was missed. Good luck.

Mary - posted on 05/05/2011

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try having your husband take him to the bathroom with him or reminding him when he goes to go as well. Mothers do tend to be nurturers and it never has an end or limit but with help, prayer, and determination to teach instead of make excuses for, you will take a big load off.

Cindy - posted on 05/04/2011

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I have a 12 year old son with ASD. Got him plastic gloves to wear while wiping himself. It worked1 Also, always have wet wipes handy. He won't use regular toilet paper. The plunger stays right by the at all times.
Still wetting the bed and I have him wear pull ups. He hates it but have told him he must be in control and take responsibility to not wet the bed.
It gets better! Keep trying anything and everything

Karen - posted on 05/04/2011

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My daughter will be 9 this month. She still has a hard time wiping her bottom. Just last week she made a mess on the toilet seat and lid. I gave her a sponge and cleaner and had her clean it. She still wets the bed also. I try to cut off drinks but she sneaks and gets drinks if I'm not looking.

Jean - posted on 05/04/2011

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I too have a Autistic 13 year old son who also seems to frequently have backed up bowels and then accidents. He seems to go thru stages of the month fine then 4 - 5 days of accidents all over the bed, or wherever he is at the time. I believe he just can't feel it coming and lets it go. Then feels wet and changes his clothes. It has gotten better as he gets older but still the problem is there. We us 2 zipper pads and the a regular pad over that to help protect the bed. That seems to be helping but he has gone thru the stage of ripping everything off of the bed 2 Times a day. Not fun but we give him some slack not knowing exactly what he is understanding. As he gets older he has taken on more for himself but we still have a long way to go. One step forward two back.

Jane - posted on 05/03/2011

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FYI - Oxybutynin is a medication for over-active bladder. It is also called Ditropan, Lyrinel XL and Urotrol. It consists of tolterodine tartrate. It is an antispasmodic. It works by relaxing the bladder muscles to prevent urgent, frequent, or uncontrolled urination. This medication can make it harder for you to cool down when hot, so if you are giving it to your child any sports coaches they have need to know that your child will be more prone to heatstroke than others. There are other side effects as well, most of them minor.

Jamie - posted on 05/03/2011

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My son is 8 and bathroom time has been a big issue for us too. He stopped wetting at about @5 but still he continues to prefer to poop in his pants rather than use the toilet. I tried making him clean up himself and the bathroom after these events as your husband suggested but it was a losing battle. takes twice as long and only heightens the fdrustration. i tried all the reward system, and taking away tv time, game time, you name it. nothing has worked,.At this point i am just going to continue to encourage him to use the potty but it is what it is. He will do it when he is ready. Continue to praise the accomplishments and explain the reasons we all use the potty for that and hope for the best. I called in professionals, potty training guides, and even went through a GI physician to ensure it was not an actual medical issue. Its frustrating. But in the long run what works is different for each child

Stephanie - posted on 05/01/2011

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My 9 year old son has high functioning autism, i don't recommend the meds because the bedwetting will start again when he's taken off of them. They do make an alarm to wake him up as soon as he starts to wet the bed, but it's expensive. I cut my son's liquids out around 2-3 hours before he goes to sleep & then i wake him up in the middle of the night for a bathroom break & he rarely wets the bed now. As far as holding his bowel movements i would definitely talk to his doctor about that, but as far as cleaning it up, he's old enough to do that himself now. Making him clean it up will probably get him to stop. Best of luck!

Ilene - posted on 04/30/2011

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My son gets crap all over himself...and the bathroom. I try to have him help clean it up and he still doesn't get it. He is seven and unfortunately, we are seeing signs that he might have Asperger's.

Angela - posted on 04/29/2011

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My son had almost 6 months of diarhea (sp) which was just torture! He tends to "help" the poop out with his hands, don't know if it's just another hole to poke his finger in or what, but he knows it's "icky" so he wipes it on the wall. UGH. He does know that I will help him wipe if he's home. At school, they won't do that, so he 'tries' and it's usually up his back and stained all over his undies. THat was the worst time thus far. He still has soft stools, but nothing like that horrible 6 months. He's also been pooping in the tub, don't know if it's a relaxer thing or what - again with the plugging hole thing . . .
As for holding his bowels - can you get him to have more fiber somehow? That's supposed to help with moving things along.
I wish I could give you more suggestions.
when he does go, is there a way he could have a wash cloth ready to use? To me, wet wipes don't have enough friction to clean very well. My son has started getting out a washcloth vs me helping him. Of course, he can't use that at school, but maybe someday he'll figure it out. Good luck!

Jessicca - posted on 04/28/2011

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well with the bed u can get them puppy pads .. found in the animal ale at ur wal-mart it will be a LOT cheaper then buying the plastic mattress covers , all u do is put one or two under his sheet's then in the am u take it out ,
and when my kids started potty training if the made a mess i would have then clean it up , ya i might of had to come behind then BUT they did not like it , so watch him and tell him how u would like it done , hope i help out

Jane - posted on 04/28/2011

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If you discover any easy answer, let me know. My son, too, has bad bathroom habits. Now that he is 16 it is better but far from perfect.

I can suggest that you talk to your doctor about the bedwetting. There is a medication that can help called desmopressin acetate, or DDAVP.

You might also look at sturdier waterproof coverings such as some of the ones at http://bedwettingstore.com/Bedding/categ... and other sites. We have had to buy an outdoor chaise lounge to use as a bed for my son because he has destroyed his mattress too many times. When he has an accident we can take the lounger outside and scrub it down.

A lot of special needs kids have issues with bowel movements as well. Sometimes one painful movement can make kids resist going to the bathroom. Sometimes kids, especially mentally disabled kids, see the bowel movements as part of themselves and either don't want to "lose" them, or are happy to play with them. My son has elements of both, plus he has discovered that inappropriate defecation is a way to "punish" us, since we dislike it so much.

It is important that you get him on a better schedule because chronic constipation can stretch the colon, resulting in huge and painful bowel movements.

You might consider re-toilet training him. This article ( http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/... ) has some suggestions.

At age 16 my son still has problems. I have taught him how to unplug the toilet, which gives him some control. But he still tends to use inappropriate things to wipe himself with (currently it is socks) and tends to smear feces on the wall.

Good luck! Perhaps your doctor can give you some advice.

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