Child Houdini? How do you keep your kids safe?

Melissa - posted on 11/30/2012

Wow-am I glad to find you all! Everyone calls me the lock down queen- all keys and sharp objects, medications behind double padlocks. I even padlocked my diaper bag and the kids backbacks to keep everything where it belongs! Fire place that I don't use gated with screen door protectors (so they cant lock the pets or sibs in there :) )Refrigerator locked with a U bike lock- all kitchen and bathroom cupboards locked with key locks. Front and back doors all have key lock dead bolts that have the key on both sides. However- my 5 year old can get the screws unscrewed with his fingers. I have resorted to something computer techies call "red" and "blue" one needs tools to unscrew (or my son) and the other needs a blow torch to heat it before it will come unscrewed. I found door alarms that you can move the responder to where you are so it wont bother the other children on the Alzheimer's web site. I have installed plexi-glass in front of the tv/dvd players- again with key locks. My kids like to destroy everything also-walls, windows, toys, appliances etc. Watch out if you have runners- they will figure out how to climb to get out :) My issue is like those above- my 3 year old climbs the chain link 6foot fence straight out to the busy road. We have 1 acre with tons of climbing things, but nothin gets momma running like climbing the fence. Did any one figure out a CPS approved way to keep kids in?? My 3 kids have RAD so they really don't get the concept of consequences or cause and effect at all. No fear-No pain-No emotion

Lorena - posted on 11/16/2012

i had soooo many stories like this with my son he is still a runner but at lest know he is more safe about it. there was never a time where i wasnt worried about him running but had an experiance that could have ened horriblely bad. which help to open me eyes that yes we can keep them safe with locks, gates & all this other thing but as i learn if they can learn to escape from almost any place just lets you know how smart they're took me a very long time but i thouhght my son who is know 5 years & has Autisum safety by teaching him it was wrong. how u might ask by time out, grounding him taking some thing he likes it took long but he did finelly came to learn. Example when we had to go to grocery store i had to put him the cart at all times but yet he would jump out & run but i learned and payed attendtion he would jump out to grab things u wanted or cause he saw something that cought his eye & before i would let him take whatever it is he wanted pattern countined until i learn to teach him u run u dont get any of the items u want it was hard cause he would run & i would catch him & take away item & he would cry kick & everyone would stare but i didnt give up even though at times i felt like giving up. Now he walks in store with me & everytime we pass something he like he still gets timptead to run & get it but he waits cause he knows he wont get it & he has done the run get it & come back to me lol same for home when he would run away to pool area or out the house he would get grounded & for him grounded is having to stand up in holding two or three books above his head might sound mean to some people but it has keep my son safe & has mad him think twic about running. I think its all in Patience and Discipline. of course never let your gard down we still have cameras for night time & alarms on doors but we came from having alarm on every door, locks with keys on doors, monitors,.....etc

Sophia - posted on 11/03/2012

plan everything to do before hand...... before you leave the car make sure you have eveything you need.. then hold his hand dont let him walk in or around .. put him in a cart give him some thing to play with... this way you know where he is and you both can have a good time. At the Dr. sit where the tv is on away from all doors... at the movies sit on the sides and let him sit next to the wall .. you at the end. at the park go when its not full this way he can run in the park and you can play with him and see him.

Caren - posted on 10/07/2012

I just found this site! I'm desperate for help with my 16 year old autistic son who is climbing my 6 foot board on board fence. Not being able to let him outside is making us both crazy. Any ideas on solutions that don't cost a fortune? I have a half acre and a lot of fencing.

Jennifer - posted on 05/12/2011

just an update i put up a snow fence so far it seems to be working except for the gate he has already figured out that he can undo the latch and if that dosn't work to push the bottom of the gate enough to squeeze out i even put tight bungee cords till i can but annother lock the fence itsself though seems to deterr him at least for now anyway its very rough and he dosn't like rough things very much also its very wobbly so when he tries to climb it it shakes and he feels like hes going to fall so he gets back down he hasn't tried to climb it again so i think if i can figure out what to do with the gate we may have something that works for him or at least i hope so i just never though it would be the cheap fence or the one fix that was menat to be temporary i guess it just goes to show you never know i am thinking about using very small hardware mesh to put over the slats near the gate on both sides and put the latch about halfway down so even if he climbs the fence he won't be able to reach it but the adults can unless he figure out how to use a stik or something lol i wouldn't put it past him at this point i'll let you know if it works i am hopeing so the fence cost about $42 for 50 ft and is about 4 ft high so for a 2 yr old it might be all i need as he gets bigger though i am not sure it will work so well guess time will tellkeep your fingers crossed that this is the answere i know i am

Sueha - posted on 05/12/2011

its hard when the kid outsmarts the parent. my sister tells me all the time that my autistic son is smarter than me looool. we use to have a house on a main road (before we knew my son was autistic) and when he was about 2, somehow he got out of the house(i have several locks and alarms on all the doors but someone left the door open) and ran out into one of the 4 busy lanes of traffic in front of the house. when i saw him i flew out the front door and started after him and of course he didn't listen when i called him name, the neighbor saw me running after me and joined the chase with me on foot. he was running down the street towards oncoming traffic. there was a car in front of use coming towards us and saw that i was trying to catch him and turned his car sideways to block both lanes of traffic coming towards us till i caught up to him. my son reached that car and was trying to open the door of that car. i laugh now but i almost had a heart attack that day. needless to say we no longer have that house lool. we have a repite worker that helps us with things like running. she would take him out and work with him on small things like not running away or walking next to her. i have two other children that are smaller than him, he is the oldest so i always have so much trouble going anywhere with him because if he ran that means i would have to leave the other two alone to chase him because i couldn't drag them with me and catch him. but now he stopped. but he still opens the door as he pleases and i catch him out on the porch by himself but at least he doesn't run away lol.

Donna - posted on 05/11/2011

LOL! You just gotta laugh Jaquelyn, my 8 yr old son who is blind and autistic is also Hudini! I thought I was the only one, ha, ha. The absolute best thing we ever discovered was readysetbloom.com. It is a tent that is zipped from the outside, so we can rest assured that our son is contained and safe while we all get a good nights rest. I also use a chair with buckles that has a tray so I can at least cook dinner without having to worry about where he is. It's a challenge for sure, we can't ever leave our son alone, they tell me that it will get easier as he gets older, I sure hope they are right.

Jennifer - posted on 05/07/2011

i actually just had someone tell me about those about an hour ago i am thinking about it and yes the fire dept frowns on them i am a firefighter i know af a caes where they almost didn't get a kid out in time due to one of those locks so i had never considered them befor i am trying to think if there is a place i know he couldn't get to them but that i will remember in an emergency and still be able to find it
def worth thinking about i guess my thoughts are right now the chances of a fire are probably less than the chances of him escaping and gtting hit by a car at this point so its worth a thought i am putting up my snow fence for now till we can get annother one put in if nothing else it may deterr him for a couple days anyway i am gonna talk to the hus and see how he feels about those locks but at this point i am not sure we have very many options

Jane - posted on 05/07/2011

Have you considered apprenticing him to a lock smith? That way he could use his natural talents and be employable by the time he finishes pre-school. ;-P

Have you considered a double cylinder deadbolt, one that needs a key on both sides? I know the fire department frowns on them but if you could stash a "just in case" key somewhere while your son is asleep, and then only use the key on your regular key ring to open and close the door, he wouldn't be able to get out. Nor would he know where the just in case key was, although all adults in the house would know in case of a fire.

When you move out you can put the old lock back in place and no one would be the wiser.

Jennifer - posted on 05/07/2011

lol jokingly of course my father in law told me to use our invisable fence that we have for the dogs by the way i locked both doors last night before bed and turned teh alarm on i even put all teh chairs in annother room and locked that door well i woke up just in time to see him walkingout the front door i never heard him but he had gotten to the chairs and climbed on then and disabled the alarm and proceeded to unlock the doors i even had the baby monitor on usually i wake up before he does but this time he woke up at 5 instead of 7 i am gonna go gray before he turns 3 !

Jane - posted on 05/06/2011

I suppose you can always go for the prison look, with the concertina wire on the top. Wonder if an electric fence would be considered child abuse?

Jennifer - posted on 05/06/2011

that is a thought i hadn't considered yet i might have that same problem he is very fast and i am not as flexible or fast as i once was it might become a way to keep me in something else to consider when choosing the fence thanks maybe the people at teh fence place will have annother idea

Jennifer - posted on 05/06/2011

thanks i was trying to find some different locks so far he figures tehm out in no more than 2 weeks tops i will probably try it out i do have the locks as high as i can get them i usually can hear him dragging the cahirs but when i am really beat i could sleep through a fog horn i tend to be a very heavy sleeper thankfully teh husband is not most of the time anyway he figured out tonight how to disarm teh door alarm he watches you do something about 3 times then he has it figured out todays episode could have ended very badly basically daddy who is not used to having to continuiously chase him decided to give mommy a break so i could clean the house so he was watching the kids outside while i was in side he had to make a run for the bathroom and apparently told me to go out and watch him for a min he didn't realize i was downstairs doing laundry so i didn't hear him i came out and noticed he was in the house nad my son wasn't so i ran outside in time to see him bolting at a dead run for the road mind you this was all in the span of about a min thankfully a neighbor was outside and grabbed him for me but where we live big trucks come flying down our hill way past the posted speed limit of course as you would guess the nice neighbor called the cops as i probably would have done if it were someone elses child i had to explain to the nice police officer what we go through with him and showed him my locks and alarms so he didn't think we aren't trying i am so embarrassed that i couldn't catch him and had this happen and scared as to what could have happened i have started pounding posts for whatever fence i finally decide on or at least a temp fence till i can get a different one installed i gotta do something and now i was thinking about chain link but wasn't sure if it could be taken down or how expensive it was i do much appreciate your help in this matter and to think my grandma has the audacity to call him mentally retarded i think hes a genious that jsut can't communicate very well he certainly is NOT stupid by any means i am gonna call a company tomorrow that does chain link and get an estimate i just hope they are open on a sat

Jaquelyn - posted on 05/06/2011

caution on a chain link...my hanah is very small for her age and she puts one foot in and she uses all upper body strength and flips over the fence...way faster than I can get over....I have found it worse beause it's not an obstical for her but it is for me.

Jaquelyn - posted on 05/06/2011

Jennifer...I'm so sorry you have to go through this....its hard! I buy my locks at home depot they are called The Door Guardian google it but it does work great!

Jane - posted on 05/06/2011

Chain link s the cheapest sturdy fence I know of. Yes, he can climb it, but it will take him some time, time you can use to catch him. When you have it installed be sure to tell the guys that you need to uninstall it when you move. They can install it in a less permanent way.

You can also put your locks way up high so that your son has to drag a chair over. The noise of that and the time it takes would also help you catch him before he gets out.

Jennifer - posted on 05/06/2011

ok my son could have gotten seriously hurt today cause of his inate ability to sneak out of the house i need advice on what kind of fence might work to stop my 2 1/2 yr old he can figure out most any lock within a few days of me putting it up he also climbs quite well i need something to fence in our yard so that way if he manages to sneak out at least there is something to slow him down if nothing else but i don't have a ton of money to work with any ideas out there on a lower cost fence that would slow him down or stop him from escaping i just finally got approval from our landlord to install it thing is i will be moving in the fall so i want to take it with me when i go so trying for something that isn't totally permament too also because its a rental property i can't make permament changes plese if you have some ideas i would greatly appreciate them i need to do something asap before he gets himself into a heap of trouble mainly i am worried about living so close to the main highway where cars speed throughtown any wya thanks in advance

Iridescent - posted on 05/05/2011

You're welcome! They're products that have saved me a lot of stress.

Jaquelyn - posted on 05/05/2011

Ok...I had never heard of a Nickel bed...This may be the item we have been praying for....I will be ordering one! The RideSafer vest looks great too! Thanks Soooo much!

Iridescent - posted on 05/04/2011

We have Nickel Bed Tents for 2 of our runners now, and replaced the carabiners on 2 panels with key chain rings and hook the other to the metal bar at the top so no fingers can get through and unlock it during the night. They make a better locking bed for ages through adult that is permanent in Canada, but we can't get it here because of insurance. For the car, RideSafer vests (which have surpassed Radian on crash test results!). The leash with the full harness only or on the back of overalls. A butterknife jammed into the door trim at the very top (short yet and nothing to climb) to keep it from opening in a pinch.

Jane - posted on 05/04/2011

Jaquelyn - We have a six-foot cedar fence covered with spiky vines. He can climb it now but doesn't usually. He is now sixteen, and stopped running out the door when he was about 7 and we started telling him, "Sure, you can run away. BTW, we are having hamburgers on the grill for dinner. We'll just eat your share and then we'll call the cops." That made it no longer worthwhile to run.



He next went through a phase of "breaking the house" by destroying doors, furniture, windows and drywall, and by taking his anger out on my truck and car - he used a baseball bat on the minivan so I ended up selling it for parts. The truck is sturdier so it has a lot of dents but is otherwise okay. And he has learned how to tape and float, and how to use a paint roller. We also installed 5/8" plywood bead board paneling over the worst of the holes in the walls. It looks nice and so far he hasn't been able to break it.



And yes, he has a big sister, two years, two months, and two days older. She has a lock on her bedroom door to keep him out of her stuff (most of the time) and got sent off to a summer camp she adores for a month every year to give her a break from him. She is now in college and works at the camp as a counselor.



He is doing better right now since his dad passed away and his sister left for school because there is no one to take my attention away from him. I also found him a "loaner dad" through our church who takes out for manly pursuits such as going fishing, changing the shocks on his car, and doing repair and maintenance at the ranch. He also is now a certified SCUBA diver as that level of danger appeals to him. He has another "loaner dad" who takes him diving as long as I feed both of them.



He still wants to drive the truck but I keep the keys on my person even at night. Besides he hasn't been able to pass the driver's test yet, although not having a license wouldn't stop him at all.



I must admit, he is cute when he's asleep or I might have killed him years ago.

Jaquelyn - posted on 05/04/2011

Jane~ Do you have any other children?....Not sure how you have kept up with him for all those years...You are a true INSPIRATION!

Jaquelyn - posted on 05/04/2011

Jane~ Oh my! Someone who might just understand. What we go through! what kind of fence did you have around your Savannah? We currently live in an Assoc. that does not allow fences(the fence is at Grandmas), and our house is the first one in(close to the main rd). We are going to do a short sale because the stress is just not worth it. How old is your Son now? How old was he when he grew out of this? Thanks

Jane - posted on 05/04/2011

Now that he is a teen we have had run ins with CPS. It was set off by a principal who used it as a weapon against folks she didn't like. However, she based her complaint on what my son told her (with coaching), none of which was true.



He said there was no food in the house, but he meant no food he liked, such as ice cream and potato chips. Instead we had yucky stuff, such as vegetables, eggs, cereal, fruit, and so on.



He said he had no clean clothes when in reality he had plenty but refused to wear them, He also refused to put worn clothing in the laundry basket.



He said there were drugs all over the house. However, he forgot to say they were prescription drugs for his dad, a disabled vet, and for him, for his ADHD, ODD and Bipolar Disorder.



He said we beat him when actually he attacked us. He broke my foot one time, and he repeatedly knocked his dad down. His dad's balance was bad because of peripheral neuropathy but he could generally keep his balance unless pushed.



Eventually, he was cited by Adult Protective Services, and CPS attempted to find him a therapeutic group home. Unfortunately none could be found. In the meantime, I circulated his photo to all of the nearby corner stores, in case he should manage to steal money and go to one of them to buy a lighter. He still enjoys fire way too much.



Life is never dull at our house.

Jaquelyn - posted on 05/04/2011

I just saw I made a mistake the first on is to Angela...sorry

Jaquelyn - posted on 05/04/2011

Jennifer~ I hope you find some great ideas! I long for the days when my kids napped...lol. Good luck! I know its hard, but I do try to see all the distance she has come! She used to ware braces on her feet and legs...now I have issues keeping up with her...and I'm in decent shape.

Jaquelyn - posted on 05/04/2011

Heather~ I'm so glad that is working for you...We have surpassed all these methods a few years ago. Thanks for the input.

Jaquelyn - posted on 05/04/2011

Jane~ All our neighbors know Hanah, so do the police, and fire dept. We take her to Castaway Cafe and she can run for several hours(to where my other two are so wore out and cranky that we have to leave) I have had many comments about Hanah's continual play...people are amazed! We have explained "safe" we(family, friends, teachers, therapists, public safety people, and her aids) have made books about being safe, talked about disciplined her for being unsafe...ugh the list goes on. Anything else you can think of thats not considered child abuse would be great....I have had threats that if we can't keep her safe they will take my kids and charge me with child endangerment. We live in a great home, my children are involved in many activities, I'm in the EMS field(not currently working I do trust anyone else to watch her), Part of PTA, Husband is very involved, I have special locks and gadgets every where...I just don't know what to do! If they ever did take her...I fear what could happen.

Angela - posted on 05/04/2011

Jane - all I can say is WOW!! Amazing! For both of you!

Jane - posted on 05/03/2011

My son was a runner. If you said no to him about anything he would scoot out the outside door and take off. The first time he stayed on foot so I caught up to him. The second time he grabbed his sister's bicycle (she hadn't learned to ride it yet and he at age 3 had never ridden before) and took off down the street. I had to hop into the truck and chase him down.



And forget baby gates! He took them apart even faster than he took the answering machine and his "Poppin' Pals" apart. Ditto child locks of any sort.



We installed a latch on the storm door at adult eye level so he couldn't reach it. We also made sure no chairs were close to the door, so he couldn't drag a chair over and unlock the door. In addition, I installed keyed locks on the medicine cabinets as he could easily get up on the sink and explore.



We left the door to the backyard unlatched so he could go out there anytime he wanted. Out there we had climbing things, a swing set, a patio for riding trikes on, a kid-sized basketball hoop, and a gravel pit with every digger Tonka made so he could go to town. We also made a point of spending a lot of time out there, looking for lions (our cats) on the savannah (the lawn), across the great desert (patio) and in the jungles (a clump of trees and flowering bushes) of Africa. Nonetheless, it was out the front door he went.



I also came home from work one Saturday to discover that he had snaked the truck keys out of his dad's pocket and (still at age 3, mind you) was in the truck with the engine running, but fortunately couldn't figure out how to put it in gear. From then on I always kept my keys and my husband's either on my person or locked up, especially since earlier that year he managed to get them and lock me outside while he went to town on the kitchen cabinets with a red permanent marker.



Our worst times were in motel rooms, especially those with a door directly to outside. Once we were in for the night we generally had to push a large piece of furniture in front of the door as he had no problem undoing the chain lock and taking off into the parking lot.



He also was infamous for undoing his seat belt in his car seat, so I simply stopped the car whenever he did it and refused to go any further until he was safely buckled in and stayed that way. A few times we had to sit up to an hour along the road. Once, when he was 7 and determined to kill himself by throwing himself out of the car I actually had to tie him up to keep him safe.



And forget those "leashes" for kids. Even his sister could figure out how to get out of those.



Basically I spent most of my time following him around to be certain he didn't get into something I had forgotten. We also belong to a club that has a nice indoor pool, so we would take the kids there every day to wear them out.



Even so, I am amazed that he survived with only seven stitches (he slipped at school) and one broken arm (football).

Jennifer - posted on 05/03/2011

my 2 1/2 yr old son is a handful he can unlock just about any lock he finds open just about any door he comes accorss and baby gates of any make are no match as are the safety locks they make to keep kids his age out of things we even put alarms on the doors to help us at least know when he get out of the house well that backfired now he likes to open the doors just to hear the alarms go off he either climbs baby gates of shakes them hard and long enough so the come off the wall we have many safety issues with him he amazes his therepists with his abilities to escape he now this week learned how to unfasten his stroller harness straps and car seat belt to his car seat when we are shopping i have to strap him in the cart and not leave him for more than 2 seconds or give him something to play with when we are in the store that we put back upon leaving just to keep his hands busy or i put one of those child harnesses on him backward so he cant get to the buckles we are still trying to figure out ways to keep him safe at home i do dance time to kinda wear him out yes he is very high energy kid we do a lot of deep pressure with pressure points to help him to relax and it helps other than that i just have to keep a constant eye on him and do my housework when he goes down for naps when he is awake i follow him around and keep him out of things or off them i too need some ideas

Heather - posted on 05/03/2011

i do "run time" in the house with some pumped up music going on as suggested by my childs behavioural consultant. It's been working out pretty good. on top of that we have hook and eye locks on the front and back door. babygates at the tops of our staircases with that in mind you should be good. Doug's been trying to escape for the past 3 years, so since we've known to do this we've had absolutely no problems with bolting or escaping on us. good luck

Angela - posted on 05/03/2011

When I lived in the city, my neighbors all knew there was an issue (he was much smaller) and if they saw him, they would bring him back home. Now we're in the country and he's welcome to explore all he wants but yet I still find him out in the gravel road, where they just go too fast. He had a talking to about that- he can find rocks anywhere else on the property for heavens sake! LOL As for out in public, I'm currently in the process of making something to help while shopping with family. I've lost my son a couple of times and had to close down the stores (code adam) until he was found - one time was a very long time. At any rate, I'm still in the process of making it and then plan to sell.
As for your specific issues, can you notify your neighbors? Have them help as much as you're comfortable with that. Also, can you take her to special climbing places that allows her to climb safely and get that "urge" out of her system, then explain why she can't at home? Have you explained what is 'safe' and what is not? Is she able to understand? That's all I can think of for you at this time. I'll keep on thinking - probably about 1/2 hour into my bedtime I'll think of something then :D

Jaquelyn - posted on 04/26/2011

My 7y/o Daughter with DS(Hanah) is a "runner". We have locks on all the outside doors, gate at the top of the stairs(she shares a room with her Sister(we tried an alarm but Sydni(sister) gets up in the middle of the night to go potty...didn't go over well kids would go back to sleep and were having issues in school because of it) Now she is able to climb a 6ft fence and she is much better at it then I am:/. Any Ideas?