Dealing with child's temper

Diane - posted on 01/23/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )

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OK Everyone our kids are not always as sweet as the pics we take. I'm looking for input on how to teach Donna to control her anger. When she gets mad she hits/throws things around.She picked up her heavy wooden piano & tossed it last night I'm afraid she will hurt herself. Terrible 2's @ 3 years old. You were right Brian M about the delay(like I thought she would skip it) Can't wait to hear what everyone has to say. This is a typical issue & not just for Ds parents.

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Elizabeth - posted on 01/26/2010

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You should start by taking the piano and anything else that might hurt your daughter or anyone else away from her. When she starts displaying control and respect return an item at a time. Stay near her and constantly monitor her behavior and instantly let her know when her behavior becomes offensive and if she repeats the same behavior twice in a row after a warning a 3 minute time out follows each and every outburst then a hug. Ask why she had a time out. Use yes or no answers. Use as few words as possible. No throwing,is enough

Cherish - posted on 01/25/2010

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Hi,
I have 3 kids w/special needs and one w/ classic autism.
He is 7.5 and is pretty much "non-verbal"
He has had some MAJOR behavior problems(he will throw things,bite,pinch,kick,scream etc)
I try time out but when he is mad I sometimes have to hold him until he is calm.
Is your daughter verbal?
I think sometimes my son gets mad because he is frustrated.
I am also guilty of giving him his way because its easier,I know a few moms who do that as well.
Now he is older if he does throw,spill or break something I make him help me clean it up....

Emilie - posted on 01/24/2010

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My son gets time outs for tantrums (which he absolutely hates). Sometimes I need to give him a big bear hug to help him calm down. We also discuss that it is ok to feel angry and talk about better ideas for expressing anger. I use simple language that makes sense to him and let him do most of the talking. I let him know that it makes mommy feel angry/scared/sad when he does whatever it is. We talk about how it is dangerous. Since he is pretty familiar with the hospital and doesn't really seem to understand the concept of dangerous, we always talk about how that means you could get hurt and have to go to the hospital.

My son has PDD-NOS, so he's also a bit behind on understanding feelings. Anger makes him very upset because he's afraid to be angry. He doesn't like the physical sensations of anger. We're still working on how it's ok to feel angry, just not to act out.

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