Having a rough week, need some support and advice

Marcia - posted on 11/05/2010

I am raising my grandson who has ADHD. I highly recommend you take your son to a Developmental/Behavioral Specialist. My grandson is now 7 and has been seeing one since he was about 3. I used to have to physically restrain him also, mostly at night to try to get him to calm down enough to go to sleep. Last year, after visiting a geneticist and having more blood work done, we found out he has a genetic disorder. He is on Ritalin for the ADHD, and Risperidol and Zoloft for his outbursts. It sounds like your son may need the Risperidol and possibly Ritalin or some other med for his ADHD, for your sake as well as his. Don't guess at what's wrong, see a specialist and have some tests done. Do some research to find the best path to take, what's right for him and you. Good luck and stay strong. My prayers go out to you both.

Ginger - posted on 11/04/2010

CSHCN they might be able to help you and ur son good luck

Michelle - posted on 11/03/2010

It does sound to me that there is more than ADHD with this. Has the child psychologist been able to offer any suggestions for the behavior you have experienced this week?

Alahnna - posted on 11/03/2010

Thanks for all the advice ladies. I really apreciate it. He's been having a much better week this week, I am hoping he will continue (bet I jinxed myself now, lol). It's so weird how he can be the amazing little boy he has been these past few days and then tomorrow, he could be the monster child again. I just don't get it :(

Angela - posted on 11/03/2010

Alahanna - I'm sorry for what you're going through, I agree with another poster that I don't think this sounds completely like ADHD, although I don't have a child with that, just friends' children. Some of the things you've described sound like aspergers. When my boy was just starting out as to what was wrong with him, I read up on EVERYTHING that I could come upon that might be my son. Unfortunately, nothing definate is his diagnoses (roll eyes) but he's just starting the defiant stage of throwing things and stomping his feet, etc. He's 6 with a mentality of 2-3 year old.
You've received some great advice, and I hope you're able to find a dr that can help you. I know that one of the Iowa City visits that my son had, they scheduled him with a behavioral dr. Oddly enough, insurances will pay for that vs speech therapy.
I hope this week is a better week for both of you ((((hugs))))

Marnie - posted on 11/02/2010

ugh. some times things can be going well and then BAM! Your be called a stupid idiot ugly person that you aren't loved and punched in the chest.....not sure what hurts more. :(

Stephanie - posted on 11/02/2010

My son is 9yrs old, and he does the same things. I have had to put him in a behavioral hospital because it got so bad. i think he might more issues then adhd. My son has emotinal disorder as well as bipolar. You might look up these disorders on line and see if you think his problems might fit. Its a good start any way. Good luck. I have been thier and its not easy.

Candi - posted on 11/02/2010

Wow. *big hugs* What a tough, tough week. Whoever is seeing your son for behavioral intervention, call them. Get in to see someone who can help you! If you need to, call your pediatrician and make him or her refer you to a behavioral therapist. You should not have to go through this alone. He's just a boy, but you're his mom, which means that you need to be able to love him and work with him without getting burned out and hurt. Good luck! If you're near a children's hospital, I highly recommend going to them for an official behavior evaluation. While EI can be awesome, it's not the same as having that clinical behavioralist working with you and seeing you on a regular basis to help you and him. You can do therapy that doesn't involve drugs! You jsut have to push for the right therapists, which can be hard to find.

Jasmine - posted on 11/02/2010

i dont have an older child with adhd.but i did want to let you know i also have a 4 1/2 year old with exactly everything you said

Autumn - posted on 11/02/2010

ADHD can look like a worse neurological thing.. but a neurologist will definately be able to tell you either way.

Shellette - posted on 11/02/2010

In my opinion, this is not ADHD. I think he needs to be seen by a neurologist and maybe have a brain scan. I have known several ADHD kids and some ODD and think his behavior is more severe. This is something he is not going to outgrow, just a feeling I have. I have a mentally handicapped daughter, with some speech and physical impairments, so I've seen quite a few behavirol disorder kids (she is 18 and a senior in high school). I think a neurologist would help give him a correct diagnosis and the right meds, if needed. And you need to give yourself a break once in awhile. I think you are doing a great job and a good mother for recognizing this and asking for help. Good luck to you and God Bless you!

Autumn - posted on 11/02/2010

My son is 5, and has ADHD. He is exactly like this. When we started him on Ritalin, it helped a lot of his issues, but the anger problems have remained. He has been to a number of special schools, and they've all helped him with behavior therapy.. but it hasn't been an easy road. We are now looking at treating his anger issues with another drug..

And this is not uncommon, for boys with ADHD to have anger management issues.. because impulsivity control goes hand in hand with this.. My sympathies.

Susan - posted on 11/02/2010

Sounds like you are getting some good advice. My now 13year old sounded very much like your child when he was that age. I remember having to restrain him so that he would not hurt me or himself when he would get angry. He also had some sensory issues...shoes had to be tied on tight, socks turned inside out, tags cut off and would go completely beserk when we were at a place that was loud and visually stimulatiing. Birthday parties were a disaster. I had an old fashioned Dr. and when I told him my concerns, he told me to just look him straight in the eye when he acted out and say, "Be nice, Zac, be nice". If I knew more about the help that was available, I would have gotten therapy, but what happened was, that I found the Dr.s advice to be so absurd, I would follow it in jest and found that it helped lighten me up a bit, which in turn lightened my son up a bit. Anger management was a stuggle for the years to come, but he has come to terms with it on his own and is quite a nice young man now.
I now have a younger son that has impulse and mood swings due to a medication he is on. My Dr. suggested giving him Omega 3 gummies and we have actually noticed quite a difference. Good luck.

Marnie - posted on 11/02/2010

hi there - we have a 6 year old birth son and a 6 year old adopted son (my first cousin by blood)...for clarification, I'm speaking about my birth son right now, though our adopted child has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and I've posted regarding him on other boards....Lindsey was diagnosed this year with Oppositional Defiant Disorder. We're working with an amazing therapist and seeing real progress, but it's HARD.....A lot of children get misdiagnosed with ADHD and though ADHD can certainly be a proper diagnosis - that could be just a component of a larger assessment. Google ODD and then look into therapists in your area for diagnosing - best of luck!

Wendy - posted on 11/02/2010

wow, must have been something about waiting for Halloween that threw everyone off. I had problems w/ my 12 yr old AHDH kid too. He doesn't have the same problems that your son does but we did have a really bad week. I homeschool so we don't qualify for any school based therapy. He's also hearing impaired and the repeating myself was really bad. Cheryl, I feel your frustration on that! Alahnna have you read any/everything you can get your hands on at the library dealing w/ ADHD and/or Autisim? When you do, keep notes on what items match your son. Then take those notes w/ you when you see the docs. Ask them to go through each point w/ you. There might not be time but at least it shows them that you are also trying and and want to work with them. If you just say: "I've been reading and this is what I think" they might get defensive whereas if you say "I was reading and this is what I noticed simular to my son; can you tell me if this applies?" It "boosts" their ego and makes them want to help you more. (Stupid I know but they want to think they are the ones in control since they went to college and sometimes think they know more than "us moms" (not matter if we have a deg. or not) even though we are living it and they aren't!) good luck, remember that things will get better and each new day is a fresh start. (I have to remind myself that when I don't want to get out of bed in the A.M.!)

April - posted on 11/02/2010

well I have a older son with ADHD but Im seeing alot of these same things in my youngest child Im at a loss Ive tried everything but hes 2 and they say its just his age and he will get over it but id think so so maybe you should try a specialist and see what they think you should do

Kimberly - posted on 11/02/2010

I take my son to a Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrician which helped better than a psychologist. Even with medication we still have bad days. I know it is hard but we keep on. Here is a hug for you.

Amy - posted on 11/02/2010

I think it is time for a psychiatrist as well. These behaviors are "autism like" but they could also be bipolar, psychotic, etc. You need help asap!

Iridescent - posted on 10/27/2010

Perhaps call his doctor and request clinic based OT. It sounds like he doesn't qualify for Speech or Physical therapy, and if they don't have severe needs in at least 2 areas the school will not provide it in most areas. But clinic based doesn't have the same requirements, and can provide you with a lot of help while you're waiting for the psychology appointment.

Alahnna - posted on 10/27/2010

he is scheduled to see a child psychologist on the 5th of January. It cannot come soon enough for me. At the present, he is getting nothing else other than what I can provide myself with my training as an Early CHildhood Educator and what I was suggested at Mental Health.

Cheryl - posted on 10/27/2010

i don't really know alot about ADHD, my daughter is autistic, some of what you have described with routine and not wanting to listen to correction are exactly as she is and she is now 16, so i have had years and years to meet each obstacle that appears. she becomes obssessive with certain things and conversations and i end up having to repeat certain words to her, or she will throw a
tantrum.Have you been to the psychologist yet?? they are usually well worth the effort and the cost as they can see things we just don't see. i have had a very bad week with my daughter, being slow at moving to next class at school, laughing stupidly at the teacher and growling, today, she seems more settled, so here is hoping it will be a better day. i do hope things settle for you.

Iridescent - posted on 10/27/2010

Is he getting school based and clinic OT (sensory specific)?

Alahnna - posted on 10/27/2010

The main issues I have with him are:
-Aggressive behavior
-loses control of emotions very quickly and has a very difficult time getting them back under control.
-tantrums that can last over an hour sometimes, but complete loss of control when he has them (hitting, kicking, screaming so loud he burst blood vessels under and around his eyes, throwing things, pinching, saying things he knows will hurt someone, etc)
- no impulse control, he has to touch everything and cannot keep his hands to himself at all.
- very energetic, always on the go, hyper, doesn't stop
- when he is talking to you, he gets right in your personal space and talks right in your face, crowding you almost, but not purposly, just because he's excited or really concentrating on what he's telling you
-he constantly interrupts you when you're talking and even when you remind him to say excuse me, he will continue with what he is saying, almost like he doesn't hear you.
-he has a one track mind about some things. You can try to talk to him about something, but he's still got his mind on that one thing and nothing is going to deter him, like an obsession almost.
-he is very sensory about some things, he has to sit in front or next to the dishwasher whenever it is on, he runs his hands or cars along the wall or store shelves as he walks all the time, certain loud noises seem to really bother him, like the toilet flushing at our McDonalds (it's really loud).
-he has no attention span at all and cannot stay focused for longer than a couple minutes, except for things like TV or things he really enjoys like his cars.

He's advanced a bit in his language skills, he isn't behind in anything ales, if anything, he's advanced in gross motor and fine motor as well. He's very smart it's just socially and emotionally that he lags behind.

Iridescent - posted on 10/27/2010

It's time for a different set of psych testing, and possibly new doctors. You are doing exactly as you should. Since he tests so strongly positive for ADHD, you should request the full evaluations for autism. ADHD can be part of autism in some children, and typical ADHD should improve with the treatments you've given. The fact that it hasn't shows he is missing self control entirely and likely can't connect cause and effect (abstract thought), which are both typical with autism. I do not know what other issues you are having, but good eye contact is NOT a good reason to refuse to test. Many autistic children can hold eye contact, and that belief has caused too many to be undiagnosed or misdiagnosed until later in life, when they could have been helped.

Other behavior modification methods - http://www.childbrain.com/pddq11.shtml