Help

Laurie - posted on 08/06/2009

Hi I really feel for you,you need to talk to your partner and tell him you really need all his support to get throughthese tough times,and beleive me you can get through anything with the help of a good support network,it really is hard coming to terms with the turns that life throws at us.Hang in there you sound like an awesome mum and your wee son knows this keep beleiving in yourself.Als I am not a religous person but I have prayed alot this last year and it has helped.Laurie.

Jannine - posted on 08/05/2009

Hang in there! My husband and I were both working when we had multiple appointment for our special needs son. He wasn't as able to make the appointments as his job wasn't as flexible. I know this is not the same situation, but I think Nicole has a good point and he is having trouble dealing w/it. My husband was in denial for the longest time that our son would be special needs. Now that we are in Germany and I'm not working everything is on me,and in a different language. Like Nicole said, concentrate on you and your son. Look elsewhere for support if you need to, talk to him about little other things that would help you out, and hang in there!

Nicole - posted on 08/03/2009

I don't think you can make him do anything...this could be how he is coping with everything himself. A lot of people use one form od denial or another to cope. But as a single mom of three kids who is doing it alone I can say this...don't stress yourself out over him not being there, concentrate on your son he needs you right now, and when you feel overwhelmed call your mom, a friend, or anyone that is willing to listen and be there for you in this stressfull time. You're husband will come around in time but right now focus on you and your son and let him deal in his own way.

Melanie - posted on 08/03/2009

Callie,

I don't understand your situation completely,but I do understand the feeling alone my boyfriend helps very little with our daughter I go to appoinments by myself and I talk to all the theraphists everyone all by myself. It's hard but one day my daughter will look back and realize how much I love her and who was there for everything.My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

Geralyn - posted on 08/01/2009

Callie, I am sending a hug to you as you go through all of this with your son. It has to be incredibly stressful for you and your family. I am gonna take a guess that, rather than listening to your husband's words that you are taking this too seriously, he appears to be withdrawing and not able to talk about or work with you on dealing with the stress. His words cannot be how he is feeling, because no one could reasonably think that the situation is not serious. Can I make a suggestion? He needs to be able to talk about what your son is going through and what you both are going through. What about counseling with someone who can kinda guide the conversation so that you get what you need out of him, which is 100% support and communication and a true partnership through this, and he gets what he needs, which is a way to talk about what he is going through as the Dad and what your son is going through... COunseling, to me, isn;t necessarily just for marriages on the brink of ending. Its a great way to increase the tools that you two would have in how to communciate with each other and show support. In the meantime, it sounds like you have family to help you through. I wish you and your husband the best, and hope that you can grow together in this experience. [And if your husband never comes around, so be it. Andrew will know your love, devotion and strength that you had for him during these difficult times, and will continue to have for him with whatever issues he will face in life. You will be the one that he can depend upon... forever.] Hugs to Andrew as he recovers and becomes healthy.

Tina - posted on 08/01/2009

Sorry to hear things are hard on you, the more you do the less he will do. When he comes to the hospital go home to the other kids, let dad run the show for the night. It is a lot to deal with for anyone even your husband. You have to hand over what ever you can before it is all up to you. Good luck to you.

Susan - posted on 08/01/2009

I don't know how to make him see that other than talking to him, and telling your husband that you feel overwhelmed with the decisions that have to be made, and would really like him to help you with these. My son is 16 and has Spina Bifidia. I finally got him to do his own catherization, but still have to do his CeCostomy wash and I am always the one he calls on to do everything. Lately, I have been feeling overwhelmed myself. I finally told my husband that it was about time that I did not go into the bathroom with this "big boy" so much. At least now when he calls from the shower my husband will go and help him some.