How to deal with family who ignores you and openly bashes you and your kids???

Sarah - posted on 03/27/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I am a young single mom with 2 special needs children and after I had my son who has beals syndrome I was completely ignored from both sides of my family. Every time I would be invited to something no one would talk to me and I would end up going home after a few minutes. Even if I were to stay for the whole occasion my kids and I are rudely talked about right in our presence. Now I thought talking behind peoples backs were bad but talking about them right in your face is even worse. I've tried talking to my father about them doing this to the kids and me but he won't step up to his family and stop them. It doesn't do me any good to try and stop it because I have tried and it just doesn't help. I never knew family members could be mongrels!!! Does anyone know how to stop them from bashing my kids for being who they are???

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Cara - posted on 03/27/2010

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It took me way to long to realize that it was up to ME to stop being hurt. I stopped contact with those family members who were ignorant and hurtful. And I am soooo much happier because of it. It is your decision to subject yourself and your kids to the rudeness. There is enough stress in the world that your kids will have to deal with...you have the power to shield them from this "family" stress for a while. When your father asks why you don't attend family functions be honest. Tell him that as long as the others are rude, you will stay away to protect your children...that's what good parents do. They may be related, but they are not family. Family does not treat eachother with such disregard for feelings.

Your family is who you invite into your heart. Your family is made up of those who support you and help you and love you. Stay strong and good luck.

Iridescent - posted on 03/27/2010

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Stop putting yourself and your children through this. Just eliminate contact, stop attending the same events. Either they will figure it out and mature or they won't, but either way it won't be a loss.

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Elizabeth - posted on 03/29/2010

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Ya gotta love em. I moved to Florida for two years to avoid the ignorance about my migraines as well as other problems with ignorant family. I have now attended a few family get together s. As always its a love hate relationship. May be if you look at it from a different angel. Use these people to teach your children about ignorant people and how to deal with them. Not to start a fight at the get together but on the trip their or on the trip home. Teach them that not everyone is right, not everyone will understand them, not everyone will like them, not everyone is polite.

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