I need advice on how to handle a learning disabled 29 yr old who will always be about 14 yrs old

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My daughter gets violent with me and she hits, kicks, bangs, slams anything she can reach including myself. I'm at the end of my rope! Any advice? I dure need some before I go out of my mind!

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Tina - posted on 03/30/2010

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I have a daughter who is mentally disabled and can have behaviors at times also.
I put off seeing a Psychiatrist for a long time, but finally came to my "wits end" with her and went last fall. He put her on some meds that have helped TREMENDOUSLY!
I have a different kid! If you do not see one I would recommend it. Their goal is not to make the kids drowsy and out of it, but to calm some things down in their brain so they are better able to function appropriately. We had to go through a period of time where she had frequent visits to adjust things, but we are now on a combo that is working well for her and she is still awake, going to school and has calmed down!
Good luck, and I will keep you in prayer~

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Tammie - posted on 04/02/2010

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i also agree with barb. As we have another child with mental health issues your 29 year old's actions cann't be from a learning disability unless she is learning that she gets what she wants by acting this way. I'm not a dr. or thearapist just been around mental ill patients a long time.

Barbara - posted on 04/02/2010

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I meant.. "do some investigating for her too"... that finger wants to type extra e's all over sheesh.

Barbara - posted on 04/02/2010

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hi Carole :)
I am a bit confused. You say she is learning disabled um, that is not a reason for her to be 14 mentally. I do know how tough the delayed word can be,, but if she is not functioning at age level, then she is delayed. THAT IS OK! Professionals won't help/listen if you say leaning disabled but they might be more effective if you say delayed, emotionally disabled which she sounds like. If the shrink doesn't help..and I HIGHLY recommend it, also see neurologist..she could be having panic attacks or pseudoseizures (so not diagnosing here just throwing out stuff to think about).
I have a 29(in 3 weeks so he reminds me )year old son. Without meds, he would be a mess and he told me that he was So unhappy in that confusing place and is much happier now. So do some investigating with docs for here too.
Please write back...I Do understand rare huh and hope all the best for you.
Barb

User - posted on 04/01/2010

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Yes, you need help! If your daughter has a mild learning disability and has the functioning of a 14 year old, she should know better. A mild learning disability is no excuse for abusive behavior toward you. A learning disabillity does not effect social or moral judgment like THAT.

If there are other more severe diagnosis that inhibit social/moral reasoning then thats a different story. Look into counseling for everyone in the family, your daughter included. I don't know what's available in your area, but around here there are regional centers that are basicly social work agencies that work with persons of all ages that have mental retardation, or severe learning disabilites. They arrange for SSI, assisted living, work programs, and even respite care. Get all the help you can!

Tammie - posted on 04/01/2010

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my daughter who is adopted and has a TBI acts that way also. Hits, kicks, scratches, spits, grabs. She also has RAD (reactive Attachment Disorder) The therapist said those actions in my daughter are because of that. The therapist said even though my daughter has been with us for 2 years she still feels like it isn't permanent and is waiting for the social worker to come and take her back to her other house. (adoption ws finalized back last June)
know that you aren't alone in the abuse you get from your daughter but I would get her into therapy as being that your daughter has the body of a 29 year old you have to make sure that you are safe.

Christina @ Nurlina Khairunnisa - posted on 03/30/2010

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Hi Carole!

I'm a school teacher... though I'm not a specialize teacher... I think you need help very much. Your daughter is too old for special school but its not too late to educate her. There's no such word as late for education can begin as old as 50 yrs old n one even obtain a degree if one is a grandmother... so don't give up hope so quickly.I would suggest you first ask advice from your doctor... n a specialize teacher for disabled kids on programmes for disabled kids.Then you can try easy word games, teaching aids where parents can teach a child at home....browse around at bookstores for some assistance.I hope this will help u.. good luck n don't stop trying.

Christina @ Nurlina Khairunnisa - posted on 03/30/2010

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Hi Carole!

I'm a school teacher... though I'm not a specialize teacher... I think you need help very much. Your daughter is too old for special school but its not too late to educate her. There's no such word as late for education can begin as old as 50 yrs old n one even obtain a degree if one is a grandmother... so don't give up hope so quickly.I would suggest you first ask advice from your doctor... n a specialize teacher for disabled kids on programmes for disabled kids.Then you can try easy word games, teaching aids where parents can teach a child at home....browse around at bookstores for some assistance.I hope this will help u.. good luck n don't stop trying.

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