I need help with my 'missing the toilet' son PLEASE!

Angela - posted on 01/11/2011 ( 19 moms have responded )

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My son finally became potty trained right before he started kindergarten in fall of 2009. He's in first grade, 6 1/2. No diagnosis, just labeled MR.

The kid will not (unless you're practially standing on top of him) pee and aim at the toilet. He just pees and moves as he sees something, which delivers the horrid stuff on the back of the toilet, the wall, down the side of the toilet and all over the floor. Luckily, the wallpaper border is high enough to be missed (although he IS getting taller. . .)

We remind him to "aim for the water", to "hold his penis" to "pay attention" any number of things. We tried in the past to put the cheerios in the water - he just decided to dump the whole bowl of cheerios in and flushed. Looked pretty cool going down like that (roll eyes).

Seriously, though, I can't get this smell out of my bathroom. My freshman daughter is mortified by any bodily fluids from her brother (ewwww, why can't you teach him to pee in the toilet?) and will not allow him to use the bathroom that she calls her own. I need help, ideas, anything you can think of. I've thought of getting a urinal for the house, but it wouldn't make a difference if he saw a bug on the wall over there. . . thus more pee on the wall. :(

Thanks in advance!
Angela

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Jolene - posted on 01/18/2011

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I have the PERFECT solution for you. My son has the same problem. Go to Amazon.com and type in urine guard. Ours is white and a half circle. Suction cups hold it to the toilet bowl. My son can just spray like a fire hose and it hits the urine guard and goes into the toilet. Mine cost $22 + shipping. You will LOVE IT! No more mess!! We have 1 in his bathroom but we're gonna get one for ours too. Also another plus, when he wants to sit, it just folds down like a lid down to the ground in front of the base of the toilet!! Best thing I ever bought!!

Angela - posted on 01/19/2011

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More great ideas. I love the sitting idea, but he's just never done it. We had an issue trying to get him to sit to poop on the toilet. (no, more thank goodness) As the saying goes "pick your battles" and this is not a battle that I want to fight with him! At least he's peeing in the bathroom, I've heard of so many kids peeing/pooping in their bedrooms or other places.
The ping pong ball I'll try first, then I'll most likely get the flip guard thing, especially if it's only 22!
Again, thanks ladies :D

Anne - posted on 01/19/2011

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A bright coloured ping pong ball might help - bright so it keeps his attention bobbing in the toilet and it is too light to flush - cheap and worth a try

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19 Comments

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Jorge - posted on 02/05/2013

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Try the Urifunnel at www.Urifunnel.com. It encompasses almost 180 degrees around your child when he's aiming at the toilet, like you I got tired of cleaning the bathroom every time and the Urifunnel helped beyond my imagination. I guarantee you this will help you if you have a MR son who has trouble aiming when peeing

Elizabeth - posted on 01/21/2011

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I am right there with you! My son was diagnosed with Autism (though it is very high functioning) and Clinically Severe ADHD and hi is 6.5 and missing really bad. My husband and I have tried everything we can think of and nothing seems to be working even making him clean because he doesn't do very well at cleaning so I get frustrated and do it myself any way. I hope that you find a solution soon. Hang in there.

Angela - posted on 01/21/2011

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Good question. If we catch him, he'll get yelled at (by dad, cause he's lost patience with it all) and scolded by me then he has to clean it up. If nobody is there, then it isn't caught. That might be an issue, there isn't a clean up mentioned then. Hmmm, maybe we'll have to change that. The only thing is that my daughter does a lot of babysitting for me and she won't have him clean it up, or stand over him to make sure he does. AHHHHHHHH. :(

Deborah - posted on 01/20/2011

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Does he have any consequences when he behaves this way? People, big or little, behave a certain way because they like the response they get. Sometimes just changing the response is enough to change the behaviour. This of course, would only work if there were no medical problems. It is however very effective.

Rhionna - posted on 01/19/2011

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Wotsits/ Cheesy puff crisps are great, they float to aim at and then flush away. We then let him have a few as a treat for being a big boy!
We had a pee ball (ping pong ball that is treated so it remains anti bacterial) but found that he wanted to pick it out of the toilet!

Tammy - posted on 01/18/2011

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I would be against forcing him to sit...as the last thing you want to do is make him relapse in toiletting.

Pam - posted on 01/18/2011

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I did see a picture somewhere where someone had painted a fly on the toilet at the pace where they wanted the boys to aim.This encouraged target practice to "pee" on the fly and so keep the fluid in the toilet.Follow this up with whatever you would use as a reward or praise and what works for your son.Good luck! Another thought,when my children make a mess,they always have to be part of the clean up too,this encourages them to think about what they're doing.Takes a lot of patience,but then again what doesn't when you're a parent eh?:)

Mary - posted on 01/18/2011

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I agree with the make him sit. My little boy who is 4 still sits to pee it is the rule in my house. I was brought up with 5 brothers and hated always having pee on the seat etc from them. One of my older brothers said once that he does not know why we teach boys to stand up. It is so much more relaxing to have a seat and pee. So that is the rule in our house. He can pee standing up if we out and about but not at home as i dont want the mess.

Remember you are the mum not him. So you are the boss. What you say goes in your house.

Candi - posted on 01/18/2011

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Make him sit. There is no rule that says that boys have to stand to pee! One of my twins has cerebral palsy and can't stand to pee. Therefore, I don't train either of them to do it so that everyone in the hosue is the same. They don't care one way or the other, and yes, they're in school. If he can't pee standing up, make him sit down. If that bothers him, he may soon get the idea that he needs to pay attention. You might also try putting a light or something that moves on the seat of your toilet so that he doesn't get distracted. If he finds something interesting where he's aiming, he might be more likely to make it.

Angela - posted on 01/18/2011

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He's 6, but mentally at around 3, so it doesn't matter to have to clean it. :( We tried the cheerios when we were truly starting, but he thought it was cool to watch them go down the toilet - but haven't tried recently. It's worth a shot, I guess. Thanks

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have you tried tossing a cheerio into the bowl and challenging him to "hit the target" ? It's goofy, but it has helped us.
Cleaning the toilet and the wall makes an impact on the older ones. At 6 he might be able to do that job.....Good Luck!

Angela - posted on 01/18/2011

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Oh my Gosh! That's a wonderful mother who make that flippy thing! Thank you Tammy! I'm going to look into that a bit more and see if my husband agrees (he's the one that's cleaning it up) and most likely get it.
Amy - we have him clean it up, doesn't make a difference. He's even gotten used to grabbing toilet paper to wipe afterwards, BUT that's only if we're there reminding him. Unfortunately, that doesn't get in all the cracks and crevices of a toilet - thus the smell.
Mary - yes, the attention span, thus the pee on the wall :)
We've told him to sit, and he just will not do it. He even started out standing to pee even before he knew what to do, OR was able to reach, he wouldn't use the sit down potty to pee. I also have 2 sets of outfits at school for him. He has gone through 3 in a day before. He'll pee on his shirt, have his pants up too high and get those wet. Totally know what you're going through!
Thank you so much for your thoughts and ideas. I appreciate the feedback :D

Mary - posted on 01/11/2011

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My son has trouble aiming, A) because he has a short attition span and B) because he's chunky and has trouble reaching, so he sits down to pee. This is fine with me. He tried to stand up and use the urnal at school twice last week and they called me to come bring new cloths.If you can figure out how to make it easier please let me know. I know my guy wants to be like all the other boys and stand but it just doesn't work out too well for him right now. Good luck.

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