Keeping Play Groups/Friends?

Shauna - posted on 12/18/2008

Maybe a bigger church? Not that you have to change churches, just maybe go to another one at a different time that has large Sunday school classes. Gymboree? A gymnastics place that has an open gym time? Kindermusic? Some preschools have morning out type programs? Possibly music therapy - my daughter does group music therapy and that works well or some other (speech or OT or PT?) group therapy sessions. Are there any support groups for autism or CP? Maybe setting up a playdate with those parents? Theraputic horseback riding? Just throwing out some things that we have done, which you probably already though of yourself :)

Martienne - posted on 12/12/2008

Well, the reason she doesn't keep friends is because, in the beginning she appears like a typical preschooler. It's after a while that her true self shows through. Kids her age tend to be put off by her behaviors. They like her for a few play dates, but then they seem to think of her as strange.

I live in an area where there just isn't much. Our church is wonderful, but the two girls her age are very...catty and clique-ish. They hide from her. There are two younger girls who she really likes and gets along with, but they only come sometimes.

Our library doesn't have anything, either. The homeschool groups around here are mostly older kids, too, so I just haven't had any luck. She has two friends (boys with severe ADHD and some delays), but those play dates seem to come and go lately. She did play with one yesterday, and they really get along well. I just wish I could find a bigger group for her to play with on a regular basis. Most weeks I just take her to the park or McDonald's playland and let her play with whoever is there.

Kim - posted on 12/11/2008

Solidarity! My son is 4 and has social anxieties and I can't remember the last time he got invited for a play date. He has Fragile X and therefore autistic tendencies and prefers to be on his own. He is very happy and loves his pre-school class but the older he gets, the more the other children notice his differences and say or act in mean ways. My husband and I are considering developing a simple resource for parents in our community and circle of friends to teach their children about accepting differences. It is truly heartbreaking to see your child bullied or left out. The public system does a very crappy job at inclusion (I am a teacher) which has caused me to quit my job and open up an alternative independent school that is truly inclusive. It is a huge undertaking but I have a very supportive group/steering committee with similar goals and the university on my side. We hope to open in September 09.
We don't want to force friendships for our son our other children but it really takes an appreciation of differences to bridge these gaps, and I guess a little education.
I wish there was a group of Xer's (our name for Fragile X) who lived near us.

Shauna - posted on 12/09/2008

I guess the first question I would ask is why doesn't she keep them? Having a child with special needs can be very isolating and parents with "typical" kids often just do not understand, despite their good intentions. Finding parents who teach kids about the value of acceptance and differences can be hard. The only place we have found kids who have been taught that way in in church and we have been very fortunate to find some kids who just love our daughter, despite her delays and social issues.

Julie - posted on 12/09/2008

We pulled our children out of school four years ago for similar reasons. One thing that has helped us is to join a local homeschool group. Our group has co-op classes two days a week. Is there anything like that in your area? Another great resource in our area is the local library. My children are a little too old, but our library has many activities for children. I will post again if I can think of anything else that might help.

Good luck!
Julie