Mother of 3 children...going CRAZY, HELP!!

Heather - posted on 07/13/2012

My mom used to say that since she raised 4 kids, all with different issue, pretty much by herself (my dad worked ridiculous hours to keep us all fed) she doesn't ever want parenting advice from anyone with less than 4 kids. I kinda follow that premise, but since I understand where you're at with the speech problems and the tantrums, I'll have a go.

My son is almost 4, throws terrible tantrums, and goes to speech therapy once a week. He loves picnics. I fill up a basket with snacks and take a sheet outside. We sit down and eat (well, try to eat with all of the cats and the dog hanging around). It gives him something different, and after we eat we just sit and talk. Now, we live on an 8 acre farm but we just go right out into the backyard for this. Mostly because I'm lazy and don't feel like carrying lunch all the way out to the best shade tree on the other side of the property.

Individual attention is hard when the kids have very different personalities. My sister and I, since we're both single moms, like to get our collective 3 kids together and play games with them all together. Red light, green light. Who can act like this animal. Stuff like that. Try making up games, or ask your oldest to make up a game that you can all play.

As far as the tantrums. My son gets into a mood, and throws himself on the floor, balls up his fists, pounds on the floor or his legs, and makes this shrill, blood curdling screeching noise that makes me think I gave birth to some alien creature. For that, he either gets sent to the bedroom where I tell him he can come out when he's done and shut the door behind me. (If yours can't open doors yet, maybe just pull the door to, rather than closing it), or I have to get down to his level, and get in his face. He is autistic, and wont make eye contact unless you get right in his face, almost nose to nose. Once he makes eye contact with me, he can hear me. I'll just try to talk him through it, and when he's done I'll offer him something cool. Goldfish crackers or coloring time, things like that.

I also taught my son to do deep breathing, which really seems to calm him down, but that only works in the few crucial moments before a tantrum, so we don't do it often. Hope some of this helps!

Sharlene - posted on 06/11/2012

Hey Alexandra, When you put him in his room and if he plays with his toys go and get a garabage bag and start filling it up with all his toys and make it clear that if he wants his toys back he has to do his by age minutes in his room then if that work give one toy at a time until he starts behavoiring, I use to do that to my children and it worked perfect,have not being able to do that for a while now course they know i mean it. if you ever want to chat more please feel free to message me.take care

Alexandra - posted on 06/11/2012

I've tried that time out and it does nothing for my son. He actually thins its a game. My husband does help tremendously but he works & coaches in the afternoon. I feel as though at times he understands and then he blows off what I have to say and does what he wants. I've put him in his room but there are toys there and he beings to play with them and it defeats the purpose.

Sharlene - posted on 06/11/2012

I know that feeling ,I also have 4 children eldest is 9yrs old with autism and the youngest is 1yrs old and three of them have special needs and disablities and medical issues, Have you tried the warnings , 1st warning make it clear to them if they keep it up they will be send to the naughty chair,or if not put them in there room by there actual age by minutes,lol. May I ask do you have help with your husband or family. good luck

Anaquita - posted on 06/09/2012

Testing the waters is completely normal at age 3. As is a younger sibling imitating. Keep the rules and consequences consistent, and it will pass eventually. Hopefully this will help in them being easier to handle when they're older.

My son was the easiest baby and toddler. It wasn't until he was older he began to test the waters. Once highly verbal, and could sass back at me. (Which earns an additional consequence.) And honestly? I'd have preferred to get it out of the way earlier when he was smaller and easier to manage. But I know that this will pass as well. With time. At least he (and your kids) aren't teenagers yet. ;)

Ashley - posted on 06/08/2012

I completely understand! I have 2 Autistic kids 3 & 4. I also babysit my sisters kids most of the day and she has 3. 7, 2 & 7month old. It can be super hard and stressful when you deal with them all day long ontop of all the housework that needs to be done. I have found that Art is a great way to keep them entertained for a while so that you can either spend quality time with them or try to clean areas that are in seeing distance of them. Painting outside or chalk is always fun. I also have my sons room set up like a movie theater when they come over so they get to watch a movie with popcorn ( I try to make it a long cartoon one) that way you can relax while they hopefully fall asleep watching it. Or if all else fails go to the dollar store and get a little sprinkler or pool and let them have fun till they wear themselves out. Just breathe and remember if you can get through birth you can get through anything lol! Good luck!