My 5 year old son was dianosised with ADHD< ODD ( oppositional defiant disorder) and A mood disorder...anyone have the same problems and how do you deal with the frustration?

Jennifer - posted on 02/15/2009 ( 20 moms have responded )

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My 5 year is very challening and we have been doing this since he was 3. He has so many things going on that we have a hard time with medication. he has been on so many different ones that I hate to see him keep having to go through all this. He has horrible aggression towards everyone in the house, slapping across the face, kicking, pushing yelling and throwing things. 1 min. his fine and a good kid the next you are wondering who he is. Then on top of that he has ADHD and with trying to control both with medication it seems at times it makes things worse. He has alot of trouble sleeping so he is alo put on meds for that. It kills me to see the amount of meds that he is on. I have tried every behavior plan possible and nothing seems to work. I also have a 3 year old that likes to copy everything that he does and I just dont know how to stop him from doing all that his brother does when I cant even get my 5 year old to listen. If anyone has any suggestions I would love to hear them.

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Sarah - posted on 07/05/2009

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My son was diagnosed with ADHD and impulse control issues when he was 4. Donovan is also legally bind and has lots of other health issue. We had a hard time getting him diagnosed properly due to all his other issues, but we knew all along it would be ADHD He is very high strung and emotional we had times of aggressive behavior and is always hyper and at times uncontrollable. I am a firm believer in not medicating a child unless necessary so we struggled finding ways that would help. I tried herbal medication which helped some in calming him but really didn't last. We finally made the decision to let his doctor try the medicine on him. Let me just say Thank You to whoever invented Concerta. Donovan is a lot calmer now he focuses on his school work and grades have come up, he is so much happier too now that he can focus and control himself. It dosent make him groggy or doped up. We continue with other methods as well like regulating his diet, less sugar and carbs and more protein. No dyes like red or blue or purple, this is hard to do but it is possible to cut them back considerably. These things help a lot. We also took him to a counselor, it really helps for them to have someone they can trust that's not a parent or relative to talk to and complain too. Donovans nine now and we still have days that are full of stress and hyperactivity but the good ones out way them. I will say this its a good idea if you go with a medication to control it to give them breaks from it, when he dosent have school or we have nothing planned and are just going to be at home all day we don't give him his medicine. Most doctors recommend medication breaks. Donovan has a whole slew of health and behavior problems but we have learned to try to deal with them one at a time. I try hard not to punish him for things I feel are caused from the ADHD and all but its hard finding a balance. We still have a very stressful time even on his good days and when he has had his medicine it can be tough but I just pray for patience and we work through it. He takes right at 7 medicines due to all the health problems so i am always worried about what they are doing to him in the long term. Its hard and scary not knowing exactly what to do for them or if what we are doing is the right thing. My daughter who is 6 and perfectly healthy and dosent have ADHD acts off her brother so when he is wild its all I can do not to pull my hair out We have a lot of reward charts and work in small time frames. the rewards are small like a sticker of something then once they get 5 stickers or whatever they get a bigger reward. If we can make it through the day or week then we get a great big treat. Ask your son what he wants, it helps a lot if they make the rewards and the consequences themselves. We give our kids the chose would you rather watch tv for a hour or go jump on the trampoline for example. They feel the are in charge cause they get to choose which helps a lot. Just remember you need small time frames like 5 and 10 min stretches. I suggest you look into a behavior specialist. If your child is adhd you should be getting help from a local or state agency or through the school special education. The can help you set up a behavior plan that helps. They helped us a ton. Also look online and do research there are lots of sites they give you ideas on how to help manage the behavior and stress. I hope you figure out for sure what it is.and wish you the best of luck, Its as hard on the parents and family members as it is on the child when they cant focus and are out of control.

Alisha - posted on 06/24/2009

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Quoting Paula:




I just had to post a comment to both of you...I  have a 7yr old son, he has ODD and is also on the Autistic Spectrum (high functioning) I can so relate to you both with the horrible frustration's aggression and yelling etc.






I have had such a bad week  at shcool and at home and feel at my wits end but I just wanted to say you are not alone,






My 6 yr old daughter has ODD with Aspergers Syndrom. Her meltdowns are downright scary at times and EVERYHING has to be done her way at her time or else!! My advise is patience, prayer, and people. This had been the hardest 6 years of my life but I have grown tremendously as a person and as a parent. My daughter was removed from full day kindergarten because they could not handel her and put into a day treatment program at the Fraser Center. I think this therapy was the best thing that could possible have happened. Aslo getting in touch with Pacer and my local childrens mental health social services was a big help as far as advocacy for myself and my child. Every county in everystate should have these resources but you have to look for them. Have faith above all things. God takes care of His children

Paula - posted on 02/21/2009

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Quoting Monique:

Hiya My son is 10 yrs old and He hasn't got ADHA but does have ODD (which I was surprised to see on here as most people I speak with have no idea about it.

It really can be a big strain sometimes - especially as we are now on our third school its the outbursts an aggressive behaviour that can really get to you. He's our only child as He has always been this way we felt unable to cope with a second child.

we don't have him on meds but work with a home & school help with who give us exercises & response techniques to work with him which is slow but slowing changing.

I find the hardest part is keeping your cool and being forever calm when the foul & abusive language comes out if it is really bad then he completely trashes his room. Thankfully we are now at the stage he actually tidies & cleans up after himself.

What's distressing is that I am a trained and qualified nursery nurse and used to work a lot with children, but when its your own you just start questioning your parenting skills.

does anyone feel the same?


I just had to post a comment to both of you...I  have a 7yr old son, he has ODD and is also on the Autistic Spectrum (high functioning) I can so relate to you both with the horrible frustration's aggression and yelling etc.



I have had such a bad week  at shcool and at home and feel at my wits end but I just wanted to say you are not alone,

Jeana - posted on 02/16/2009

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We recently began seeing a neurological chiropractor for our sons ADHD and ODD.  I cannot tell you how much it has helped him.  He has done right brain stimulation with some exercises and we have to continue to do the exercises at home.  His outbursts have decreased significantly and his speech has increased dramatically.  With children who have ADHD they are not always able to think through thier decisions which contributes to the ODD; since we began stimulating the right side of his brain he seems better able to control his frustration and can focus long enough to tell me what the problem is and what I can do to help him work through it. 



It may not work for all kids but it is working great for our 5 year old and I am so excited to see his meds being decreased and his speech contining to increase.  Let me know if you have any questions.

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Kiesha - posted on 04/28/2013

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My seven year old son doesn't have ODD but he does have ADHD with PDD-NOS and what I have read from you the aggression and lying are very similar. He too will blame and lie on anyone else, especially his little sister even if you have the evidence of him doing it. He has been on different medicines to try and control his aggression but to no avail. Everyday is a battle and with his increasing aggression, mood swings, anxiety, lying and countless other issues, it is a day by day thing.

Gretchen - posted on 04/25/2013

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I will have to talk with Drakes dr about the ODD. I have never heard of it. You just described him to the T though! Drake has been diagnosed with ADHD. Anger is such a problem for him. In trouble all the time at school. I feel horrible for him. At 6 he is getting the name "Bully" already.

Alison - posted on 07/09/2009

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My son has ADHD and ODD and a mood disorder. We finally found a medication combination that works for him. It took a couple of years of experimenting with medications. Recently we had a neuropsyc. assesment done on him and it turns out he actually has mild mental retardation and all of the pressure that people were placing on him was making him act out as he was not understanding what they were saying or he just wasnt capable of doing what they asked of him, so he would act out in a very viloent way. But I did an experiment with the MEdications and took him off for a couple of days a yes he needs them. He is a different child on the medications. He has control over his emotions, he can use his words instead of hitting, spiting or biting. Sometimes Medications do work. I was not to keen on medications so I tried everything I could afford to do before then but to no sucess. We also have lots of charts around the house showing what needs to be done and in what order and what the reward will be after the jobs are done (for example) after cleaning your room you get to go outside and play for 30 minutes or you get to stay up 30 minutes past your bed time and watch a movie. It actually works as it gives them something to look forward to and they can see what will happen if they do what they are suppose to.

Sparkle - posted on 07/09/2009

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Jenny
My son has the smae thing as yours. He is now on concerta 2 pills 1 time a day and he also takes clondine for the ODD. It works great! He is doing much better and I would also suggest therapy for your rson. Psychologist will help. I speak form experience. Allow him to have hits fits but show him how to control the anger. Bounce tennis balls until the count of 10, get him a journal that only he writes in and don't read it. Its a way for him to express his self without anybody judging him.

[deleted account]

my daughter has adhd/odd.i have a hard time dealing with it sometimes.i have learned to be paitient.when my daughter has her fits.i sit her down and talk to her.this usally seems to work.sometimes i can catch her before she flips and defuse the situation before it starts.

Stacy - posted on 07/07/2009

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i got a 8 uear old he has adad. bipolar also this year he was put in a hospital for a week. thar help some. thy change his med.

Tonya - posted on 07/06/2009

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My almost 8 year old daughter was diagnosed with ADHD @ 5 and just recently with an impulse control disorder. She was recently put into an inpatient program @ Children's for all her behaviours. She's been stealing since she was 5 and it got to the point where I was afraid to sit anything within 5 feet from the floor for fear of it not being there when I got back. It doesn't matter what it is, she will take anything!!!! She's taken $ out of my wallet and took it to school, luckly the teacher caught her and called. She steals from school, our house, families houses, friends houses...you name it she's done it. She can look you in the eyes and said with great conviction that she has no clue what your talking about when you ask her if she took something......she could have it in her hand and still lie. She told me that a boy in her class cut her school bag...she told me this for a whole week. I was about to the point of contacting the boys parents to get them to replace her bag....then 1 day she fessed up.....when the teacher recalled the day and told me who had the scissors(it wasn't the boy). She also has/had beyond normal reactions to being told no or something as simple as a balloon getting out of her hand and floating away...she becomes a different kid when she gets like this! She has been on about 6 different stimulants, but is currently not on 1. When she went into the hospital she was retested and givin a new med. Currenty she is on something to her control her mood and control issues and something to help her sleep.



We just do things day by day...she also sees a phychatrist & a psychologist.

Terrie - posted on 07/06/2009

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Our son was diagnosed with
ADhd when he was younger he does not have ADHd he does have some serious behavior issues which we did finally go to a good doctor and therapist as well we finally decided to try meds they have made a world of difference. He is still no angel but so much easier to reason with. Best wishes hang in there.

Gina - posted on 06/28/2009

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After reading all of your posts I don't feel alone anymore. My 9yr old daughter has been treated since she was 5 yrs old. ADHD was ruled out and is now being treated for a mood disorder and ptsd. I can relate to the really sweet one minute and aggressive and verbally hurtful the next. It's truly a challange. I am seeking help at the local children's center as well as counceling for myself, and waiting for the time when all my efforts to help her pay off.

Dawn - posted on 06/26/2009

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my son is 5 and has bi polar. We have been searching for the right meds combination since November. He was on resperidone for most of the school year and it seemed to just quit working. I asked the doctor to take him off everything and start over. We are trying ADHD meds now. I have read on the dr. has said that if he isn't ADHD his behavior will actually get worse. I haven't noticed that he has gotten worse, but at least he has quit eating. The bi polar meds have caused my son, who was underweight up until he started the meds to a pretty husky guy. He eats very healthy, but still puts on weight. He was always hungry. My son is on a med right now that he has to get a blood test every week because it could effect his liver. I don't recommend that. It's very hard to get a child with his behavior to get a blood test. We have to hold him down while he kicks and screams and spits and hisses. Not a very good plan, but not a lot of meds out there for children. I keep hoping as he gets older he will be able to control his aggression better. It only seems to get more severe as gets older.

Nikki - posted on 06/24/2009

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Quoting Jennifer:

My 5 year old son was dianosised with ADHD< ODD ( oppositional defiant disorder) and A mood disorder...anyone have the same problems and how do you deal with the frustration?

My 5 year is very challening and we have been doing this since he was 3. He has so many things going on that we have a hard time with medication. he has been on so many different ones that I hate to see him keep having to go through all this. He has horrible aggression towards everyone in the house, slapping across the face, kicking, pushing yelling and throwing things. 1 min. his fine and a good kid the next you are wondering who he is. Then on top of that he has ADHD and with trying to control both with medication it seems at times it makes things worse. He has alot of trouble sleeping so he is alo put on meds for that. It kills me to see the amount of meds that he is on. I have tried every behavior plan possible and nothing seems to work. I also have a 3 year old that likes to copy everything that he does and I just dont know how to stop him from doing all that his brother does when I cant even get my 5 year old to listen. If anyone has any suggestions I would love to hear them.


my son is adhd , odd , bi-polar, and suffers from depression. I dont let him get away with his bad behavior. he is 10 yrs old, but i give him a warning, then its time out,for 6 minutes, i tell him why hes in time out before the time starts, then when times up he has to tell me why he was put thereand say sorry. and his time does not start until he is facing the corner and quiet. we did this for about 6 months and things improved,now i rarely have to put him there.There is no meds for odd. when the 5 yr old is in trouble show the 3 yr old this is what happens when you act that way or do those things.

Nikki - posted on 06/24/2009

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Quoting Jennifer:

My 5 year old son was dianosised with ADHD< ODD ( oppositional defiant disorder) and A mood disorder...anyone have the same problems and how do you deal with the frustration?

My 5 year is very challening and we have been doing this since he was 3. He has so many things going on that we have a hard time with medication. he has been on so many different ones that I hate to see him keep having to go through all this. He has horrible aggression towards everyone in the house, slapping across the face, kicking, pushing yelling and throwing things. 1 min. his fine and a good kid the next you are wondering who he is. Then on top of that he has ADHD and with trying to control both with medication it seems at times it makes things worse. He has alot of trouble sleeping so he is alo put on meds for that. It kills me to see the amount of meds that he is on. I have tried every behavior plan possible and nothing seems to work. I also have a 3 year old that likes to copy everything that he does and I just dont know how to stop him from doing all that his brother does when I cant even get my 5 year old to listen. If anyone has any suggestions I would love to hear them.


 

[deleted account]

I am going thru the exact same thing with my son. What you wrote is exactly what we are going through. I am now taking him to childrens specialized hospital to have him tested extensively because I have taken him to so many drs I cannot get a firm diagnosis or whatI can do to help him. Took him to one who medicated him it is working for the most part but he never tested him. I know exactly what you are going through just hang in there thats all we can do for now. I am going to see what this hospital says what he has what he needs and what I can do to help him because most drs tell you your child has this or that and sends you on your way with no answers. I think I need to have his meds changed again because he is going backwards again the meds don't seem to last long I dont know if its these meds their giving him or he just becomes ammune to the meds very quickly. Just hang in there.

Rebecca - posted on 02/17/2009

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I feel for you. I have a 12 year old son with Tourette Syndrome, OCD, ADHD, and ODD. The only advice I have for you is to just be patient but at the same time, be aggressive with his treatment. My son was diagnosed at 4 years old and we did not find the right combination of drugs untill he was 10. Having a great Dr. is key ask for his suggestions on therapists and counselors. If you do not feel that your dr is the right one or your son is just not comfortable with him, don't be afraid to go to a new one.

Monique - posted on 02/17/2009

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Hiya My son is 10 yrs old and He hasn't got ADHA but does have ODD (which I was surprised to see on here as most people I speak with have no idea about it.

It really can be a big strain sometimes - especially as we are now on our third school its the outbursts an aggressive behaviour that can really get to you. He's our only child as He has always been this way we felt unable to cope with a second child.

we don't have him on meds but work with a home & school help with who give us exercises & response techniques to work with him which is slow but slowing changing.

I find the hardest part is keeping your cool and being forever calm when the foul & abusive language comes out if it is really bad then he completely trashes his room. Thankfully we are now at the stage he actually tidies & cleans up after himself.

What's distressing is that I am a trained and qualified nursery nurse and used to work a lot with children, but when its your own you just start questioning your parenting skills.

does anyone feel the same?

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