Nap time battles

Kris - posted on 05/12/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )

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How do you decide whether to "force" a nap or just let it go as resting/quiet time?

My almost 4 1/2 yr old DS has fought going to sleep since infancy. Was diagnosed with unspecified insomnia at a year old. I've learned over the years that the more he resists sleep, the more he really needs it. He gets really wired & rough to himself & others. For resting time he'll read books or do puzzles. On days that he really needs to sleep, he self-distracts even though he's obviously in need of sleep.

I've had people tell me to just let him go until he crashes. He sleep when he's tired. NOT true. That doesn't work & actually makes things worse.

To compound matters, I'm due to deliver child #2 in about a month. We've been trying to slowly adjust his dependency on me to go to sleep, so that the addition of baby won't be such a big impact on his routine. And there are days I just do not have the energy to battle him to sleep. Yesterday I had to physically hold him because he was not being safe. I have battle wounds. He never went to sleep & the rest of the afternoon was awful. He was up 5 times overnight, which happens when he's overtired. He sleeps worse. Today he resisted nap with the self-distracting until I laid down with him again. This time he fought verbally and mildly physical (half-hearted). Laying with an arm resting over him for pressure and ignoring his verbal attack, he went to sleep eventually.

I do not like needing to hold him to get him to sleep, but there are times it's necessary. I do not want him to hurt the baby & guard my belly while trying to keep him safe. Challenging to say the least. I don't want to not do what he needs for help, but I also can't put the baby in jeopardy.

We've considered just dropping his nap, but he still really needs them. How do you decide when to enforce sleep & when to just say it takes too much energy/effort?

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5 Comments

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Sarah - posted on 06/08/2011

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It sounds like he likes the deep pressure provided by you holding him, etc. What about a weighted blanket? We got one for my son a year or so ago and he has never slept a night without it. We swaddled him until he was a year old or so...got too big for the blanket and his arms were too strong and he would accidentily break open the swaddle when he shifted positions. Project Linus is where we got our blanket and only paid $35-40 for it. If you order them online they can cost well over $100. If you are a handy sewer you may be able to make one. Just a thought. Hope whatever method you choose can give him and the rest of the family some peace.

Erin - posted on 06/06/2011

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I've had similar problems with my son. I found that either taking him to the park or to the mall's playplace for a while helps him get out the excess energy. Of course, that doesn't take him too long because he's only two and has a smaller heart. But it works like a charm every time.

Dorothea - posted on 05/17/2011

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Is it possible to let the nap go and just put him to bed earlier in the evening? My son's need a rest in the afternoon, and go to bed about 8. They sleep the bulk of the night, and wake up about 6:30. (I have a "typical" 4 yr. old and a 6 yr.old with CP, who requires more sleep.) Good luck, and congratulations on #2.

Sherri - posted on 05/17/2011

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Have you tried Melatonin to help your son sleep? It's a natural medicine and for some kids it can help them fall asleep better. We used it for a while for our son when he was about 3, but we have now moved on to Clonidine which is a prescription. The melatonin helped a little for our son but unfortunately he needs a little stronger medicine to keep him from fighting sleep. I can relate to what you're going through. My son needs his sleep too. When he doesn't sleep we all pay a price the next day. I had him napping up until he was 4 when my husband was laid off and changed our schedule completely! But we have adjusted to no nap because with the help of the medicne he sleeps better at night. Good luck.

Kris - posted on 05/16/2011

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Thanks for the support, Heather!

Heather - posted on 05/13/2011

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My son had serious sleep issues for the first 3 yrs. what eventually worked for us was passive restraint- he's wrapped in a sheet with his arms at his side, and a weighted blanket. He too, wouldn't sleep without being wrapped up and passively restrained in my arms. Make for some long nights. He finally started sleeping through when he was between 4-5 yrs old. I had my daughter just after he turned 4. the first 6 mths were....... difficult, but it does get better!