Melanie - posted on 08/01/2009 ( 13 moms have responded )
I had my boys very close in age and they are both still very young, but I'm having some real issues with behavior, especially in my older abled 3 1/2 year old. I know a lot of it is jealousy as I would be jealous if my sibling had three therapists come to my house once a week for an hour each to play games with my sibling instead of me. Kelly, my abled son, is not potty trained, is impulsive, very loving, wants things to go his way, wants to be the center of attention, loves to play ball of any kind, tries to get into trouble to get attention, etc. John is 2 and is my differently abled son with mild Periventricular Leukomalacia (PVL). He gets an hour a week of each OT, PT, and ST. He wears AFO leg braces. He's observant, reserved, very attached to momma, smart, progressing from the non-verbal state, and now in the defiant state (testing the limits) like most two year olds. *I don't know if that is a blessing or a pain, but he's exploring his world.*
Anyway, Kelly will bite John for no obvious reason. He will also shove John down into furinature or onto the floor (John has poor balance and coordination). If Kelly doesn't get his way, he will throw things at us or his brother. One second he can totally hate us, and the next second he'll love us. During my evening summer intensive class, my sister was watching the boys, and apparently Kel got mad because John had "his" sippy or "his" toy, and Kelly bit John's dingding--thank God it was through a cloth diaper, but the cloth diaper had teeth indentations in it and slight holes in the polyurethane laminate (the part that makes it waterproof). I know it had to be a strong and vicious bite for that to happen to the diaper! This has set me off. I do not believe this is appropriate behavior for a 3 1/2 year old even if he is a sibling of a differently abled child. Am I wrong? Has anyone else had these types of issues? Should I get a psych eval for Kelly (I've occasionally suspected ADHD for the past year, but school won't test because they don't see this behavior at school.) Anyone have advice for how to handle my boys' behavior? Thanks so much!