siblings of special needs

Yvonne - posted on 10/30/2009 ( 14 moms have responded )

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My 15yr old mildly intellectually disabled daughter has a lot of challenging behavoiurs. My 12yr old lately really resents her and gets annoyed with her about everything, she keeps saying 'why cant I have a normal sister.' Ive tried putting the 15yr old in respite, so I can spend time with the 12yr old. Im trying to work on her behaviours through different agencies( some of which are of not alot of help) Ive tried explaining to the 12yr old that my other daughter is different and my 12yr old could of just as easily been born this way. I know that its not always fair on the 12yr old, any help with this would be appreciated. Ta

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Kaye - posted on 11/12/2009

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You my find that she is embarassed by her sisters behaviour as she is getting older now and she (and other kids) are noticing things are different. Children can be cruel but you just have to go with it she will get over it eventually when she's old enough to understand. There are usually places you can get in touch with that do programs for siblings of special needs children. Just have a look on the internet to see what they have in your area or country. Cheers

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Delena - posted on 11/16/2009

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i have a5 yr old son w ds older sis 9--she is his little mom--no problems--i have been honest telling her all from birth---we have a new baby too-all 3 are best buds

Tina - posted on 11/16/2009

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I have gone through it myself. My oldest daughter who is 26 picked on her brother who is 17 months younger the she is. My youngest daughter picked on my youngest son until she turned 18 and I had enough and told her to get out. At that time she thought that he was just being a but head. But as I told her she was way to close to see exactly what we were going through with him. She had been gone about 5 months when she came for a visit and she was like OMG what is wrong with him. It was then and only then that she could see exactly the hell we were going through on a daily basis to try to help D.J. She then became aware of the fact that he took alot out of us also so she became more helpful. Even now that he isn't living with us and she in in Vermont raising 2 beautiful little girls and all we still see eye to eye on what needs to be done. She knows that he will never be much better then what he is now and still wishes I would have let her take him. That isn't the way life was set up. She plans on moving back to florida when d.j. gets placed in a group home so that when we go south to see him we will have a place to stop for the night.

Terri - posted on 11/16/2009

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I must say that I have been pretty fortunate. I have 2 kids with special needs and one that is normal. I went through time where he would call them names and and would be just plain mean. I sat him down and had a long talk with him and explained to him that God intended them to be this way just like he intended you to be the way you are. I also explained to him that they are still his brother and sister no matter what and that he needs to help them and not be against them. I told him that they have feelings just like you and can hurt too. What I also did was take him to a farm that had tons of animals there of all kinds. There was this pig that just had piglets and all of them were pink except for one and he was black and white. Just because we look different or act different doesn't mean that you have to be mean or make fun. We are all different in every way and that is what makes us unique. Some of us just may need that extra boost to achieve something and it make take a sibling to do that.

Yvonne - posted on 11/16/2009

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what country is that? Thanks for your help! once you look you can find things I suppose.

Yvonne - posted on 11/16/2009

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Yes I am hoping this will happen the older is going through puberty and the others prob following, 2 girls hormonal what fun! Thanks Ill look into a gruop or something.

Ghina - posted on 11/11/2009

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hi .i have a DS boy he is 11 years old.with 2 other kids one is 9 years old a7a girl she just turned 3 years.sometimes i can feel that my 9 years son is confused and worried about his brother and he always pushes him 2 be like him.our siblings have a very confusing situatoin we can t blame them.they will learn a lot from this very special brother or sister,all they have 2 do is learn 2 accept the reality and live in it andLOVE it

Silvia - posted on 11/11/2009

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Sorry,Iam in San Antonio Tx,USA.I don't know what resources they have down under.But if you are looking to plan a vacation to America,they will be opening An amusement park here in San Antonio for kids with special needs.opens next year! I think it is called Morgan's Wonderland

Melanie - posted on 10/31/2009

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My special needs child is coming up to his 2nd birthday. Our daughter is 6. She finds it hard not being able to play with him like a normal brother & sister. She doesn't understand that he won't communicate with her or play other than by himself. It is hard having one different to other. I really try to explain that he's not like her cousins who play back. It helps that her daddy doesn't work full time so I can take her away from the stresses of home and have girly days. It is hard being a sibling to a special needs child esp when they take up so much of your time. xx

Yvonne - posted on 10/31/2009

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Where is this based? I am in Tasmania Australia, so was wondering if they have this.

Silvia - posted on 10/30/2009

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I have a daughter that has many special needs after an anurism last December.I , myself am still trying to see what resources and support groups are ot there.I did however,signed up for a special needs siblings support group thru Any Baby Can.You should look them up cuz they address those concerns that you have with your kids.I haven't started yet.They meet once a month and it is free.If you sign up and make it there before me let me know how it goes!

Silvia - posted on 10/30/2009

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Quoting yvonne:

siblings of special needs

My 15yr old mildly intellectually disabled daughter has a lot of challenging behavoiurs. My 12yr old lately really resents her and gets annoyed with her about everything, she keeps saying 'why cant I have a normal sister.' Ive tried putting the 15yr old in respite, so I can spend time with the 12yr old. Im trying to work on her behaviours through different agencies( some of which are of not alot of help) Ive tried explaining to the 12yr old that my other daughter is different and my 12yr old could of just as easily been born this way. I know that its not always fair on the 12yr old, any help with this would be appreciated. Ta


 

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