Stepmother to special needs daughter.... seeking advice with new baby on the way

Maren - posted on 09/15/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I've been searching for awhile looking for a place I can turn to with my concerns and doubts. I am a mother of a 10 year old son and a step mother to a 10 year old special needs daughter. I am pregnant and only 4 weeks away from having another child. As I have only been in my step daughters life now for 2 years, there is a lot to learn and this I know. She has a Chromosomal disorder, Duplication of a tip of # 8. As I've been reading on this site... chromosome disorder is not as uncommon as I thought. She is quite rough and does not know her strength. I know she means well but She can be so kind one moment then angry and violent the next.

My worries are how she will handle this new baby and how to handle her in itself as she is an only child. She does not like loud noises! She is a very smart little girl but has a hard time with her speech, and Extremely territorial of HER Daddy.

Seeking advice on how other mothers have handled this task. I'm sure most of you are thinking why not ask her mother.......Well her mother is very unwelcoming to her father or myself. Unfortunately she is unwilling to help us, a real shame!

Any advice would be helpful! Really. I want so badly to do right by her and her needs. I want more than anything to keep this a happy home and not always be scolding her.

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Debbie - posted on 10/03/2012

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I have a child that is just like what you are describing. I was also just told to WATCH HER by my obgyn doctors. My daughters therapist had a different story. She told me it was time to bring a baby into my daughters life. She was four at the time. She told me to get her a puppy or kitten( preferably the kitten) and make Keira that babies mom. Keira had to feed him, clean litter boxes, and most importantly love him. Well let me just tell you the therapists were right. When the new baby came she would compare all the time how I took care of the baby and how she took care of her baby. She was so proud and would help me out when I needed it and I would help her when she needed it. It became a great relationship for all involved. Until her cat got killed by a car and we had to get her a new kitten and now she wants me to buy a new baby. Lol.

Sophia - posted on 09/15/2012

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JUST WATCH HER WHEN THE BABY COMES HOME.