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Why do I get so angry when one of my children is mean to another one of my children?

Rachel - posted on 01/31/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )

3

19

I just don't understand. My son which is delayed in age and hearing impaired gets treated better by strangers than he does his own brother and sister. They don't ever try to be an example or play nice unless it will benefit them in some sort of way. I have always believed that of course kids are going to fight but when they are around others they look out for their brother or sister, well not in my case I have to worry about my son getting hurt or treated bad for their entertainment or because they want him to leave. I am up to my wits end with this. I don't feel that I am a bad mom but I really hate this part of being a mom. Any suggestions or help???

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3 Comments

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Sophia - posted on 09/29/2012

156

0

how old are they? because its time to have that talk ... what will happen in this house... what you better start doing . what you better stop doing.. what I am going to start doing. no way I would put up with this .

Casey - posted on 02/01/2010

40

21

Hi Rachel! My husband and I go through some of the same thing w/ our children. Our daughter is almost 3 and our son is 19 months. Our son had special needs, undiagnosed, and has been going to dr. after dr. since he was born. I stay home and Belle isn't in school yet so she goes with us to the appts., and such. There are times when she wants nothing to do with Carter or will tell us to put him in his room or she doesn't want to give him a kiss, or play with him. She doesnt physically hurt him and he doesn't know she's being mean, but it tears us apart to see her act like that. My thought is that maybe our kids are reaching out for our attention. We consume ourselves so much in our childs special needs, that maybe our other childrens needs get overlooked. The best advice I can give you is to hang on there, and maybe make some one on one time with each of your kids even if its just going to the grocery store. Good luck I know it can be difficult!
Casey

Iridescent - posted on 01/31/2010

4,519

272

You're not a bad mom at all. You do need to realize something though - NOBODY else is going to "baby" him once he's an adult, even if he continues to have developmental delay. If he were healthy now, nobody would baby him either. His brother and sister see him as a "sibling" instead of a "special needs child". This is honestly a good thing. He's learning to interact on a level appropriate to his real age, not his developmental age.



I'm not saying let his siblings pick on him and beat him up or anything of that sort. If it's causing distress that's out of reason (vs "I have to pee" while tickling), put a stop to it! But you have to realize your other children are still children as well, and they don't see the special needs portion unless they sit and think about it.



If they're just torturing him to make him leave or to hurt him, punish them. Make THEM go to their rooms instead, or take away the things they enjoy and make them earn them back. It can go both ways.

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