how do you get your highschooler to keep his grades up?

[deleted account] ( 6 moms have responded )

i am a mother of 5. one in the elementary, 3 in middle and 1 in high. my younger kids always have c and above. but my high schooler doesn't care about his grades. he can't get his drivers license because of it and he can only fail one more class and he will not be able to graduate with his friends. i've taken overnights and games away from him. but nothing seems to work. can anyone help? any suggestions?

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Cindy - posted on 01/13/2010

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one thing that worked for my one son: He had to PAY me for bad grades. Grades A, B, C and I paid him. Grades D and F, he had to pay me. Instituted the pay scale for BOTH kids. Paid varying amounts: elementary school got least, middle school more and high school the most amounts, same deal with positive/negative amounts. This was the only thing that worked, because money was soo important to him.

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Inquiringmind - posted on 10/15/2013

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What do you take away if your teenager would rather lie in bed than have you tell him to do certain assignments he doesn't want to do? I don't want to take phone away because this is a safety issue. He works hard - to a point- on five APS (he wanted to take these; I didn't force him, and I ask if he wants to drop them)- He doesn't really go out with friends much… mostly he plays sports (and I've been told not to take those away because they are an outlet). Don't want to take car away b/c then he has to get up earlier to get to school by bus. I do take away allowance, but he doesn't seem to care. Can't make him pay me, since he has little money. No time for a job as he has so much hw. What do you think?

Janice - posted on 02/17/2010

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Hi Lora.
I had this problem also. I recommend speaking with his teachers and keeping a good repor with them. If need be check closely at what he is doing instead of his work. I once told my son i would invade his privacy by checking his bag if I do not see him doing everything but school work. I was challenged and now I do check up on him but he likes it. Maybe your son wants that attention also.

Char - posted on 02/11/2010

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my son just came home with 2 D's he no longer has a phone or his tv in his room and no video games. It may be a little harsh but i mean buisness. He will be 15 in May and will not be allowed to get his permit without passing grades.

Janice - posted on 01/20/2010

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I can relate, my son fell off track recently. I check his bag n books n his work n talk to his teachers personally. Hold him accountable for it. It can be tiresome but you will feel for doing it for your kid. I do it n it encourages him to perform n give his best cus I expect that for him.

Patricia - posted on 09/28/2009

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Quoting lora:

how do you get your highschooler to keep his grades up?

i am a mother of 5. one in the elementary, 3 in middle and 1 in high. my younger kids always have c and above. but my high schooler doesn't care about his grades. he can't get his drivers license because of it and he can only fail one more class and he will not be able to graduate with his friends. i've taken overnights and games away from him. but nothing seems to work. can anyone help? any suggestions?


As your teenager is becoming more independent and is trying to develop her own identity, she may become more rebellious and begin to test your rules and limits more than she did in her school age years. You will probably have to rethink your methods of discipline at this age. Time out will usually not work on teens, and they will not blindly accept all of your rules. While you still need to be firm and set limits over important issues, you can learn to allow her more freedom as she continues to search for her identity and become more independent. Limit rules to important issues, such as curfews, driving safety, and household chores.



Some tips for effectively disciplining your adolescent child include trying to avoid power struggles, offer choices as often as possible, learn to negotiate more over some of the more unimportant rules, decrease the number of rules, and be clear about what your expectations are for your child and what the consequences of disobedience will be.



Some strategies that can work to improve your child's behavior include allowing your child to see the natural consequences of his actions (if she leaves her bike out and it is stolen, then she can't ride it), logical consequences (if she doesn't put gas in the car, then she won't be able to use it), and the most important at this age, withholding privileges (find things that your child enjoys, for example, talking on the phone, renting movies, going out with friends on the weekend, etc. and take them away when she misbehaves). Always remember to be firm, consistent, calm and loving in whatever discipline methods you choose.



 

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