How to Motivate a Teen Girl

Cheryl - posted on 08/19/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My girl is unmotivated. With her school work she is not focused in class and doesn't hand in homework regularly. she attends an elite private school in Melbourne Australia and I am working my butt off to let her go there.
She is a lovely girl, good natured, well....some of the time... I think she is lazy and she is also messy with her school work, her bedroom and will only do the minimal work she has to do to get her pocket money at the end of each month.
Have we spoiled her by treating her like a princess and not having to do stuff for herself?
She just will not push herself and gives up if anything is too hard.
I don't know what to do.
It is hard to describe it all in writing.

Thanks.

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3 Comments

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Patricia - posted on 08/26/2009

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Hmmmm! sounds familiar... all girls in the teenage age need a friend... dont see the flaws... talk to her... see what she feels about the things you point out... Pocket money... it sounds like we do pamper our children... as mothers we take it upon ourselves to do things for our children... now to motivate her is to do things with her... make it fun dont be fast to get upset... get into her room or bathroom or what ever you feel she needs to take responsibility for and do it with her... find out what she likes... in music her interests... and the spring cleaning days do the chores together... involve her in the little things that you find she may not be interested in... have a chit chat... laugh more... be a teenager if you must... she will come around... and Cheryl she will always be your princess....

Cheryl - posted on 08/20/2009

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Thank you we have taken her mobile phone, laptop until she agrees to be tutored for maths with her dad; it is cheaper than paying for one plus he is brilliant in math.
I will take your advice and even cut her allowance more as her room is a pig sty and i just close the door now. wait until the end of the month when she gets half her allowance. she will crack up about that.
cheers from cheryl in Australia.

Doris - posted on 08/20/2009

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"How to Motivate a Teen Girl"...I have the same problem with my 14 yr old. I think maybe we have spoiled them a bit, but the issue is we are not being consistent with their concecuenses. If they do not clean room, take some money out of her allowences; No Homework, can't do research on the computer, no TV, no phone calls to friend. Even thought I tried all the above I am still experimenting, The one that really worked for me the most is not letting her go outside with friends. Try to find what really hurts the most to lose for her and give her the concecuences on that, but you need to be consistent with your decision. Don't start you are punish and then she keeps nagging, "But mom, please, won't do it again..." and you fall for that. If you tell her the answer is NO, keep it a NO don't change it to YES cause she will run you over on everything you say and do. Hope I have been a bit helpfull. Good luck and be patient and will do alright.

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