Shannon - posted on 02/09/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )
My 13 year old son and I have always been extremely close. He's always been sweet, kind, considerate of other people's feelings and just an all around great kid. Good grades and always respectful. Well a couple of weeks ago, I was looking at old text messages on my phone, clearing out the ones I didn't need and I came across some that my son and a girl at his school were exchanging. They were VERY inappropriate and I was shocked to say the least. When I confronted him with the text messages we sat down and talked about sex and all the things that go along with it. I'll save all the details, but later on that day I found out he had lied to me about something as well . And then after that, same day mind you, I found out he had tried a cigarette at a party. It was too much. I was devastated. When I tried to talk to some of my friends about it, they said I should just be happy that he's not doing drugs or drinking. Well duh, of course I'm glad he not doing those things, but the things he had been doing were still very upsetting to me. My kid has never been in ANY trouble for any reason. He was as close to perfect as you could get. (And yes, I know no one is perfect). Helps around the house without being asked, still wants to be tucked in at night, says I love you every chance he gets. The only thing I could ever say that wasn't totally positive is sometimes he gets sarcastic, but we are a very sarcastic family so he comes by it naturally. Which leads me to his next problem. One week after all the other trouble, I got 2 emails from 2 different teachers (he's in all advanced classes in the 7th grade) telling me about his disruptive behavior in class. One even gave him a detention she was so tired of it. He likes to talk too much and be the funny guy that makes everyone laugh. Again, I was devastated. I guess I'm going on too long here. I guess it really doesn't matter what he did. What I need to know is HOW do I deal with this and the way I'm feeling. I know he's growing up and exploring and experimenting, I was a teenager too. But it's hard to look at him the same way. Please, don't take that wrong. Nothing could make me love my son any less EVER, but I find myself checking up on him more now (which I guess isn't a bad thing at this age). I don't take what he says at face value because it was SO easy for him to lie to me. I guess I am just so sad and sort of disappointed. And yeah, I know it could be worse. Please, help me with ideas to deal with my feelings on this. Thanks!