Mother's Who do not have Residential Custody of their Children

Cheryl - posted on 08/26/2009 ( 99 moms have responded )

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If there is anyone out there who needs help, or advice, please contact me. I have found out that there are alot of Moms who do not have their kids, for whatever reason.......there is alot of help for you out there, contact me anytime!

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Ellie - posted on 06/11/2013

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Last summer I had an episode of severe depression that resulted in a suicide attempt. To avoid any issues with dfys I signed residential custody of my child to my mother. All was fine as i also moved in with her but months later as typical I couldn't be in the same house with her and decided for my overall sanity I needed to be on my own again. However my mother went on a power trip and now refuses to even let me take my child to my new home. I am livid as my time to see my child is now limited to one day a week on my mothers terms yet she insists she's trying to make sure we still maintain a bond. I am no longer comfortable with this situation as it is. She says because of my episode she no longer trusts that i am capable of being alone with her and that i have to prove myself worthy by her standards which mean id never be able to prove it. For school purposes my child needs to live with her grandma but I feel that removing her title as residential guardian will put her back in her place as to who is and has been responsible for making decisions on welfare. All I want is to be able to have my child sleep in my home as we see fit not as my mother determines.

Marie M - posted on 03/01/2015

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Hi, my name is Michele a divorced working mother that has lost her job two years ago. I was going to some financial difficulties and ask my ex husband to take care of my three years old daughter until I get on my feet. He insisted that we have to sign and agreement modifying the child residency and I did because I didn't have any other choices. My daughter is about to be six years old and he doesn't want to give me the child back not even visitation time. Right now I don't know where he lives in Texas. Whenever I tried to call to get in touch with my daughter it's either he doesn't let me talk to her or he puts her on speaker phone to limit my conversation with her. I don't make much money to pay for a lawyer but I need help. Please help me. Thank you.

Jessica - posted on 06/20/2014

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I need lost of advice. My mother has custody of my three sons, but refuses to let me see them. Tomorrow is my youngest's 11th birthday and I won't get to see him. I miss my babies.

Susan - posted on 04/21/2015

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Hello,

My parents have temporary custody of my daughter and I want custody back. However, they don't think I deserve custody because I don't have the money they do. They yell at me and say how are going to pay for daycare? you can't buy her what we can. They think because I can't buy her everything she touches and take her to expensive restaurants 3 to 4 nights a week, I have no business having custody. The real problem is they want TOTAL control of my daughter. I was 19 when I had my daughter. My boyfriend & I broke up. I was renting a house with some friends. None of us were prepared to be on our own. At one point our utilities were being turned off. No one had money. My parents said I should give them temporary custody of my daughter until I could get on my feet. That was the only stated reason on the custody papers. Nothing about me being unfit or a danger. It wasn't that I was doing anything wrong but I wasn't doing ANYTHING. I wasn't motivated and just too young. They made me feel like that was the only thing and the best thing I could do for my child, so I agreed. I moved back home 2 months later. It still took a few of years, I admit, to realize I needed to grow up and become the mommy my daughter needed. Because I did live at home, I was with my daughter (we shared a room) daily. I have really never been away from her and she's always known I'm her mommy. She calls her grandparents NaNa & PaPa. I will always be grateful that they did cared enough (and I've told them so) to step in. The problem is that over these years, I have had no say in my daughter's life decisions. They have always reminded me that they don't care what I want, they are in control. Every time I would say "she is my child!", we would get into a huge fight and make matters worse. I knew I had to move out, get myself situated and get my daughter back. I got a job at a gas station/convenience store. Once I was able to afford moving out, I did. My stepmom told everyone I was leaving my daughter and they were right all along...that I didn't want to be a mom. What I actually said was it would be better if she stayed with them at first so I could get situated and then she would live with me. That story never got told, just that I was leaving my daughter. I still went over my parents when I wasn't working ( I worked very crazy hours) so I was still with my daughter all of the time. I asked for a promotion at work which meant more $ so I started looking for daycare. My stepmom found the list of daycares I had written down and got mad and talked me out of it. She said my little brother is the one they want picking up my daughter and to not worry about it. They wanted to dismiss the fact that I was doing what I needed to get my daughter back. They wanted to continue be in control. My hours were so crazy that it was getting hard to be with my daughter. Not only were my hours crazy, but my stepmom had "plans" for my daughter anytime I wanted to see her. Some were legitimate like a sport but anytime I called and said I will be off work soon or I have this day off I want to spend time with my daughter, my stepmom would say "oh I made plans for her weeks ago". Well, that started happening way too much. So, I looked for another job with better hours. I now work at a bank. Great hours but a lot less money. I definitely qualify for reduced pricing daycare at the ymca. I will qualify for money towards school uniforms and even school sports. And, eventually, I will move up in the bank. My previous (gas station/convenience store) job called me and offered me my own store. I said no because I really need to be with my daughter ...and the rest of the family. Now, my dad & stepmom have been in my ear about calling my old boss and taking my own store. What they really want is me more "out of the picture". They acted disgusted that I would keep my bank job and apply for assistance for daycare. They said "what are you gonna do live on welfare!?" MOST of our family and my stepmom's friends get some kind of assistance! My stepmom was even going to get certified this past summer to daycare for welfare for one of her friends! I am SO VERY AFRAID of the what they will do if they get papers in the mail saying I want to terminate the temporary custody. I AM VERY AFRAID they will not welcome me in their home and keep my daughter away from me. Even though I am 26, they make me feel like I am still that same19 yr old girl and I have no business having custody of my own child. I work and I am with my daughter that is it. She has her bedroom in my apt, we have guinea pigs, I take good care of her. I don't go out and party, I've never been trouble with the law, I've never done drugs. I don't plan on disrupting anything in my daughter's life. I live in her school district, so she'll go to the same school, keep the same friends, play on the same teams. I want her hang out with my parents just like all her cousins do. I want my parents to take their place as GRANDPARENTS! I am her mom, and I shouldn't have to make as much money as they do in order to have custody. They should not have control of my daughter's life. I will definitely listen to their view and make sure my daughter minds them and respects them (now it's the opposite- she listens to me but has constant fits at their house because they spoil her and don't demand respect) but I should have the final say on the everyday decisions not them. They have said in the past "don't even think you can compete with us in court, we will bury you!" What do I do?

Cheryl - posted on 06/15/2013

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My Daughter is 23 now,well adjusted, hard working, and Loves me as much as she did before her Dad took her for residential custody.I am going to tell you what my parents told me when I lost my court battle, get on with your life,I did, I have a loving Husband, and you are already more than half way there already! your children will hear a lot of bad things, they appear to go along with it, they have no choice, they definitely DO NOT hate you,when they figure it all out and they will, you will have them back focus on your relationship,take care of yourself, because we have our hands tied when we are abused, so rise above it you can and keep them in your heart bonds of mother and child are never broken no matter what.

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Edith - posted on 04/19/2016

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Hi Jennifer
I've just read your post, I felt pain and sorrow for what you went through! I can only imagine your distress. I saw that you wrote this post back in 2014, and held the hope that you succeeded to get your children back! I pray that you are now living in peace with them!

Melissa - posted on 03/16/2016

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I really need help my ex has residential and we have joint. Really bad custody battle. My daughter is always late to school or missing school, throws up to get out of school and the school keeps calling to let me know but don't know what to do. I just want my baby girl home she is 11 and my world. I would do anything to have her. I was in an abusive relationship with her father and with me leaving him and finding a place behind his back he kept my daughter from me and filed for custody before I could file due to money.

Loralovely87 - posted on 03/06/2016

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So last year I set my 12 year old daughter with my little sister in Spokane Wa, for what was suppose to be temporary, while i was relocating and setting up life in Salem Oregon, when i was ready for my daughter to come, my sister asked if i could wait til after my little sister had her baby and was going back to work because she was relying on the child suppport she recieves , to get her by til than and she wanted my daughters help. I was fine with it. but than one day, its like they fell off the face of the earth, she changed her number, blocked me on facebook, and even moved to another place. So i ended up doing a google search and seen these public summons to reply to these petitions for custody regarding my daughter. The summons said to reply within 60 days, it been well over 60 days and I think that i was just tricked into believing everything was fine, until my sister waited out the days to have her petition granted by default. I have no idea what to do and need help! PLease please contact me via email loralovely87@gmail.com!

Janet - posted on 01/24/2016

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I need help as well never been in front of a judge all this was done by his lawyer and a lawyer that I found out was married to the other lawyers son long story short through mediation because they told me it was my best inStress and the children that I just go with the arrangements made through mediation the exparte never got reversed and its now 4 years later and now my oldest daughter is staying with me and my youngest want to come but don't want to leave her lil brother child protection came in the home and now its just my time to get my children out of there.....now I need legal help in n.c.

Janet - posted on 01/24/2016

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Hello can you help I need to have an exparte order reverse after 4 years . my ex received the order by telling lies and thinking that if the children were taking that I would come to him. Well at the time he had money and I did not so the order has never been reversed. And I have been reading that we should have had a hearing in front of the judge which never happen..... I need help now I am in NC

Ronin - posted on 12/23/2015

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Please contact me at robinlrudd1979@yahoo.com I need ur help very badly...live in texas and trying to find out what I can do to get custidy of my 12 year old daughter that wants to live with me because her father keeps her from us unless we have money to give him

Teneysia - posted on 12/17/2015

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How does one fight family. My adoptive parents went behind my back and obtained permanent guardianship simply because I have a trucking job and the guardian ad litum and the judge are on their side. They've grudgingly giving me visitation but it's taken nearly a year fighting for that. I have no criminal history and see no reason they should have done this or continue. How do I fight this more effectively?

Teneysia - posted on 12/17/2015

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Depends on your state laws. But for the most part you have to go threw the guardian.

Mimiluvskay03 - posted on 11/12/2015

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Are you in jacksonville fl?...we need to wave signs in front of the courthouse. Im fighting to get my daughter back also

Mimiluvskay03 - posted on 11/12/2015

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I really want to get a pation going so our rights can be heard...anyone interested please email me a mimiluvskay@gmail.com the court system favors father's here and no awesome mothers. Our voices need to be heard!!!

Crystal Lee - posted on 11/11/2015

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I want custody back of my girls from my mom. Any advice would be greatly appreciated

Judy - posted on 11/10/2015

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Please contact me j.walrath1124@gmail.com I need help fast. I did your parenting with my ex in 2006. He had a good job a house and live in a great school district so I agreed to let him be residential parent as time moved on my ex has become addicted to prescription drugs my daughter who is now 19 out of his home in with me he gave problems at 1st but as long as I let him collect what ever for the kids he was happy. When my now 17 year old moved in with me last September he was the same way. For the past 6 years he has been mis using prescription drugs. He lives with his parent and our 13 year old wants to come live with me but only problem is that I moved to Florida. Now that with that's said when I moved my 17 yr old wanted to finish high school here so he talked his dad and letting him stay with a coach.. I came back in staying with family and want to get my kids away from him.. And return home. I went and got a job in Ohio so I can show support while I'm here.. But I'm not rich I live paycheck to paycheck I need help can anyone help me.

Judy - posted on 11/10/2015

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I have a major issue and need help could you contact me so I could give you details

DeOndra - posted on 09/04/2015

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I could use some help also or just someone to talk too. This is a trying time in my life and the hardest thing I've had to endure. Deondra25@gmail.com

Miriam - posted on 08/16/2015

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I'm one mom that doesn't have my daughter. She got taken by her father 7months ago. And I'm lost

Arw - posted on 05/20/2015

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I do not have custody of my daughter but there is no restraining order keeping me from seeing her, only her gaurdiana preventing me from visiting. I'm wanting to have lunch with her at her school. By law, can the school refuse to let me visit at the school or can her guardians keep me from having lunch with her at her school?

Patrina - posted on 05/15/2015

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Hello, I'm needing some advice. My ex husband and I divorced back in 2011. He took me to Ex Parte court and made false accusations about my mental health. In the temporary parenting plan the courts ordered me to have a mental health assessment done. When my ex husband and I were married he physically abused me. I never reported him because, we lived with his parents and I was scared for mine and my children's lives. There was a week that I hallucinated because, he bashed my head repeatedly into our headboard. He used that against me. Though, in the final parenting plan it was not ordered for me to be evaluated I took the assessment and passed and did another parenting class before filing all my paper work with the courts to bring him back to court. I went to court on May 11th, for an Adequate Cause hearing and they found adequate cause but appointed a Guardian Ad Litem. We both had to split the cost I paid mine that same day. He hasn't paid his half he has until May 27th to pay his half. His attorney that withdrew from the case on May 4th, came back as of today and is going to start representing him. He is taking me back to court on May 29th because, he is trying to revise the orders that the commissioner ordered. He is trying to revise the GAL, as well as the Adequate Cause that was granted. What should I do from here? I have had a legal advocate helping me but representing myself. Should I now get an attorney? Any advice would help. And I live in Washington State if that helps, I know rules are different everywhere. Thank you and have a wonderful day.

Danielle - posted on 04/10/2015

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i some how lost custody of my child to my abuser and the emotional and psychological abuse is still continuing i need help! email me direct jesuslovesus2911@gmail.com

Mariesa - posted on 01/22/2015

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My husband is tryin to get sole custody of my 3 children and im in desperate need of help. Please contact me at gmariesa@gmail.com

Wendy - posted on 01/09/2015

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Please help me wendylyne77@gmail.com!! I have no one and am desperate for help for my girls!!

Andrea - posted on 01/04/2015

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I had an open dyfs case because my soon to be ex husband called dyfs on me. The case was closed and the courts decided to give him residential custody, I have joint legal custody. I am going to go file for residential custody, my 4 year old does not want to go back with him , she has said things like him and his girlfriend hit her, she sleeps on the sofa and she hates him. She is currently in my custody because there is no set visitation and she has a medical condition that needs to be addressed which he will not.i have had to file many DV charges against him. I need help, trying to see if I need to get emergency custody or file regular paperwork. Bottom line I do not have his address I don't know where she goes when she's with him I'm not comfortable bringing her back to him.

Catherine - posted on 12/31/2014

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Cheryl Falabella pleaae contact me I'm not sure of how this works but I'm in need of help please! CDerouen88@gmail.com

Catherine - posted on 12/31/2014

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I Am trying to fight for custody of my daughter back. Her father is an illegal immigrant fromPanama, he's trying to make me change her last name to his, he is going to flee with her if he gets this done and ill never see her again. He has sole custody of her already but is not on the birthcerticate. Anyone who can help me with this please contact me. I'm lost and pushing for time, I want my babygirl back! :-( PLEASE HELP!!!!
Email : CDerouen88@gmail.com

Esperanza - posted on 12/28/2014

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I would love it very much if you could contact me Cheryl falabella my email is esppink@msn.com

Spicersandra - posted on 12/17/2014

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i need help please , how can i contact you
my email is spicersandra@live.com my \name is sandra spicer+

Lynn - posted on 08/06/2014

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i left in october bc the mental abuse was too much to take. my kids now live with my husband in the house i raised them pretty much as a single mom. husband (going through a divorce now)makes a lot of $$ but is a controlling asshole. My kids were and are my life. I raised them for 16 yrs. he hired a nanny who washes the clothes and thats about it. she watches tv all day and the kids hate her. i go to the house every day and cook for them and take them places. I am also in recovery for alcohol and have a breathalyzer in my car for everyones' own protection. Do you think I can get the house and kids back?

Jennifer - posted on 07/17/2014

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Jennifer Kendrick July 12, 2014
1636 Curry Street
Brandon, Florida 33510]
(813) 802-6278
Jenniferkendrick2014@gmail.com

To whom it may concern:
Re HEART BROKEN MOTHER!!!
I don’t know who else to turn to and I am begging for your HELP getting my children back from their father due to a BAD custody decision on the part of Judge Tracy Sheehan, Plant City, Florida family law court.
I recently went through a divorce that I filed for back in September 2013. I and my ex-husband have 2 children together. I personally have 5 children in total. I have been a mother since I was 15 years old and have been a single mom to three of my children full time.

History: When both of our children were born I was not married to their father. Eric was born on May 19, 2006 and Ian was born on June 6, 2008. Their father and I were married on December 1, 2008. When I gave birth to our son Eric his father was married and living with his previous wife. I raised him alone for as a single parent until he finally left his wife October 2006. We later had our son Ian in 2008 and married in December 2008. He was never a very good father and didn’t spend time with his children. Instead would play video games 24/7 and take no responsibility for them. Example, he did not work to support them and for many years we had to live with my mother. I was a stay at home mother for both of the children and was the one that took care of them 95% of the time. Both of our children have had medical issues. Ian was diagnosed with speech issues and sensory problems. He attended occupational therapy and speech therapy at All Children’s Hospital. Our son Eric has many medical issues as well. He has been diagnosed with ADHD, speech issues, he sees a gastro doctor for SEVERE constipation, developmental delays. He also has been seen for severe joint pain by a juvenile RA specialist at All Children’s Hospital and his PCP doctor said that he has emotional issues as well. Eric has suffered with MRSA several time and has 22 different allergies and is currently being seen by an allergist. He receives 4 allergy shots per week for the next 5 years. I was the one that made sure that our children received the medical attention need to correct these problem. Their father did not ever take the children to any doctor’s visits. By the way my ex-husbands name is Robert S. Kendrick. Robert was married a total of 3 times and has a son with his first wife as well. This son is now 16 and lives in Japan with his mother. Robert abandoned his now 16 year old son and has never had contact nor supported him financially or emotionally. For most of Robert’s employment history he was a truck driver. For the year of 2012 he was employed with Rountree Transport and Rigging, Inc. out of Jacksonville, Florida. In January 2013 Robert came to me and advised me that he was going to start driving for an owner operator leased to the same company that Robert was a company truck driver for. He advised me that he was going to be making $600.00 per week cash. I believed him because he was my husband. Robert would be gone the entire week, left on Sunday and returned on Friday evening. He was only a local truck driver but slept in his semi the entire week so that he did not have to return home every night and deal with me or our children. Many months pasted and I began to question his honesty and employment status, so I questioned him as to why he would leave a job where he was making 1500.00 per week to take a job where he only made $600.00 per week cash. He stated that over a period of years that he would eventually own the Semi that he was driving and could make more money. So him being away from the home and his children started taking a toll on our family. Robert was not a good father, Spent no time with our kids, screamed at them when he was around them and tried to stay away as much as possible. It even came to the point that my son Eric would cry because daddy WAS COMING HOME! He did not want him to return home. I finally had enough of all the deception and filed for divorce September 4, 2013. When I told Robert that I wanted a divorce, he agreed and we discussed how this would all work regarding the children. We mutually agreed that I would be the one to file the dissolution of marriage papers and that we would continue to live in the same home with the children until January 2014. This would give me a chance to get a job, since I was a stay at home mom and did not work and to get through the Christmas season with the children. A short time later I began to date my current boyfriend and he as well began to date his current girlfriend. Things were going great and so many people couldn’t believe out well we were working together to make this as easy on the children as possible. I had taken a cruise with now current boyfriend and Robert and his new girlfriend agreed to keep the children while we were gone. Our two children Eric and Ian as well as my daughter from a previous relationship name Haley. I was gone a total of 5 days. The day that the cruise ship docked back in Tampa, FL my daughter called me and stated that Robert has taken items from the home, to include. A 16x20 shed, my wedding and engagement ring, the TV. Off the wall even removed cable boxes and had home phone service turned off, the most important documents, his motorcycle, his truck and other items, and hired an attorney and left the two children at that time aged 5 and 7 with my then 16 year old daughter and my boyfriend’s then 13 year old daughter and left the home for good. I was confused and did not know why this had happened. We had everything worked out or so I thought. He left me and the children in the home with no money, no food, no job and the rent due in 5 days. He had not been paying household bills, such as cable/telephone, electric or water bill in several months. So the electric was being shut off in two days and water the next day. I had NO PLACE to go with my three children. He had totally abandoned me and his children!!! My current boyfriend took me and my children into his home, with no notice and really not enough room to accommodate us but was not going to leave us on the street. We had to be out of the home that I shared with my now ex-husband within the week. We moved in with my current boyfriend and he took on the responsibility of supporting us. He even added on to his home to make more room for all of us, as he also has full custody of one daughter and 50/50 shared custody of another daughter. So now we have 7 in our household VS three that he has before me and my children. I continued to search for employment but due to the fact that I have been a stay at home mom for so many years it has been difficult. I have no current work history. So me and my boyfriend decided that I would continue to be stay at home mom and care for my three children as well as his two children (my other two are adults and no longer live with me, there are currently 22 and 25 years old) I have been living with my boyfriend from October 2013 to current. The entire marriage to my now ex-husband he was NEVER interested in his children but since I filed for divorce he seems to have had a change of heart (or the truth that he didn’t want to pay child support) So the entire time that we have been living in separate homes he has had visitation with the children. I have gone out of my way to make sure that our children have had a relationship with their father. He has had them every other weekend with them during the school year and every day that they have been out of school. He had them for Spring break and one week of Christmas break. He has seen the kids every holiday and any other time that he has requested. He was paying me elected child support in the amount either $50.00 or $100.00 per week. We both agreed that the children would live with me and that he would have a fair amount of visitation. So we attended many case management hearing related to our pending divorce and both of us has an attorney (I had no money to hire an attorney, so my boyfriend once again stepped up to help me and paid $3500.00 to hire me an attorney) During almost a year that we were waiting for the divorce to be handled through the Florida court system we tried to work out our own terms. These negotiations went back and forth and no matter if I agreed to the visitation that he wanted he would then not agree with me and want even more. He had been discussing with his attorney how much child support he would be required to pay and was told that the more overnight’s that he has the children that he would be required to pay less. So no matter what I agreed to it was NEVER enough. His lawyer was calling my lawyer and trying to bully me into giving him anything and everything that he, Robert wanted. Trying to encourage my attorney to persuade me to just agree. I had already agreed to every other weekend during the school year, all school holidays, such as teacher work days etc. half of the summer, all of Spring break, half of Christmas break, all of Memorial Day, Labor Day, 4th of July and Christmas Day, Thanksgiving and Easter to be shared (half day with me and half day with him). Robert wanted overnights 3 Wednesday during the school year and I would not agree to this due to the fact of all of Eric’s medical issues,like ADHD. I felt like this would be too disruptive to the children while attending school. As well as having a doctor’s note to back up the fact that it was not advisable to have this kind of visits during the school year. I have had our children enrolled in Mango Elementary school since August 2013 and they were in the 2nd and kindergarten. They have both received Honor roll, citizenship awards the entire school year. I was able to maintain them having perfect grades even through the divorce and residential changes. Ian even received Perfect attendance the entire year. When Eric was in kindergarten he attended Hugo Elementary school and had many problems. Both in grades and behavior. He almost didn’t pass kindergarten and was being physical with other children. This is the time that I had him evaluated by his pediatrician and evaluated for ADHD. He was put on medication for ADHD the summer after finishing kindergarten. The following year I went through the school board and applied for special assignment to a different school in hopes of improving his educational experience. I did receive permission to enroll him into Mango Elementary School at that time. He attended Mango beginning in 1st grade and did much better. 2nd grade he continued to attended Mango Elementary and continued to excel both in grades and behavior. Even dealing with having ADHD. 2nd grade is the same year we moved away from his father and were going through a divorce. I continued to take Eric for his ADHD evaluation’s every 3 months with his pediatrician. As report cards can prove, Eric seemed be doing 100% better being away from his father and that atmosphere. I also continued to take Eric and Ian to ALL doctors’ visits and his father only attended 2 or 3 at the most. He only attend any doctor’s visits since we had separated, none while we were married and living together. Eventually Eric started to develop side effects due to the ADHD medications and experienced weight loss, so the doctor removed him from the medications. At this time he was taking 4 medication daily. ADHD and several allergy medications as well. Even during the time of not being on medication for his ADHD I still managed to maintain him getting good grades in school. As time passed I still tried to come to an agreement with Robert regarding the children’s visitation. He would agree with me to an arrangement on the phone, tell me to have my attorney to type it up and he would sign it. As soon as my attorney called his attorney, he would inform us that he does NOT agree. This went on 4 or 5 times and even the day before our divorce trial Robert’s attorney called my attorney just before 5 pm and said, ok he wants to agree on the what Robert and I had discussed the previous Monday. No such luck, I called Robert to clarify that he wanted to agree once again. He told me NO I am not agreeing. I felt like no matter what I agreed to it was NEVER enough for him. I felt like what I was offering was fair to both of us. I have never wanted to keep my kids away from their father! Robert had been telling me that he wanted to work this out, after Robert told me that he wanted to agree on an arrangement then calling me back to tell me that he spoke to his attorney and the attorney told him not to agree. My attorney would call the other attorney and he would call his own client a liar and say that he never spoke to Robert about that and never said that. I am at this point totally lost and confused, as well as my attorney. So the final divorce trial date comes, Thursday July 10, 2014 (THE DAY MY LIFE TOTALLY FELL APART!!!!) The judge presiding over our case was Tracy Sheehan, Plant City, Florida family court. I had brought 4 witnesses (would have been more but we were under the impression that this was all going to be worked out and we would never make it to trial) No depositions were taken because two days before the depositions were to take place, that’s when Robert decided that he wanted to come to our own terms. So the depositions were cancelled. It was a ploy to avoid them all together. He didn’t want to be caught in all his lies. Did I mention that the so called job that he has driving a truck for the owner operator, making $600.00 cash a week was just another lie? He owned the truck and on his 2013 tax return stated that he made 82,224.00 that year. He lied to me about owning a company. Maybe I was too naïve but I thought I could trust my husband? None of the evidence that I had provided to my attorney was even submitted to the courts! Reports card, doctors note nothing!!!! All I had to count on was witnesses in court. Court began and I was the first witness, then our old neighbor, my sister, my oldest (25 years old) son, and then my 22 year old son. The only evidence that my attorney showed in court was: My financial affidavit, Robert’s financial affidavit, Robert’s tax return and a stack of household bills that Robert provided. I felt like my testimony was going well. My sister and our old neighbor went well also. Then my oldest son, 25 years old named Michael took the stand. My son has several tattoos and has had some drug addictions as an ADULT. I marchman acted him when he was 20 (not living with me) due to drug use. He was placed in a drug rehab facility for a year to battle these demons that he had. I cared enough about my child to get him the help that he needed. Having to go to the mental health division of the court house and having to have him picked up by the police, taken to a detox center and taking him to court to force him to be admitted into rehab was the hardest thing I have ever had to do! The emotional toll that this took on me, when my own child had no place to live except his car sue to the addiction. All of that is VERY hard for a mother to deal with. I could not allow him into my home to protect my other children from his choice of lifestyle. But I took up the “Tough love” approach and he got the help that he needed to repair his life. During the time when Michael was going through this time, Michael made the choice to get a tattoo on the side of his forehead of “FL”. He claimed at the time that it was a reminder of where he was from. Clearly not in his right mind when he made that decision. I did not agree with it but he was an adult and a parent cannot control their children after they are adults and move away from my home. So as soon as Michael took the stand, before he even opened his mouth, the judge said to him “FL what is that?” He replied, Florida. I took her comment as if she had already labeled him just according to his appearance. Robert’s attorney began to ask him questions and because my ex-husband was aware of my son’s past drug problem that is the first thing they laid into him about. Michael had a look on his face like he was embarrassed and humiliated for his past. Michael really didn’t feel like HE was on trial here and didn’t want to answer any questions regarding this matter. If I’m not mistaken, I think that Michael is protected by the marchman act regarding this private matter. A marchamn act is not public record and is part of the mental health division, don’t think that he is required to divulge this information. It is not on his record as a crime or anything. A person is supposed to be protected when they receive this type of help. Anyway, the judge proceeded to “ride” him about his drug addiction and he did finally admit to of having this problem and being placed in to a rehab at one time. Michael even told the judge that he was 20 years old when this happened. Michael did not even live with me or my children! So after this testimony needless to say the judge was “Pissed off” and I believe had it out for me at that point. My 22 year old son was then placed on the stand and Robert’s attorney proceeded to question him regarding his lifestyle (this child does not live me or my children either) He was asked if he used marijuana and as I raised my children to be honest. He admitted that he did, but not much anymore due to his current employment. Robert’s attorney then asked if he had ever smoked marijuana with me! My son looked SHOCKED and said “With my mom? NO NEVER! Robert was claiming that I smoked marijuana with my son! I do NOT DO DRUGS OF ANY KIND!!!!! Robert was LYING under oath! All of my witnesses stated that I was a great mother, that Robert was never at our home with the children, that he did not ever take the kids to doctor’s visits, when he was home all he did was yell at the kids. They testified that Robert would leave me and the children home all week with no food and no money to buy food or gas to get our son to the doctor or school. That I had to borrow money from these people in order to feed our children. It was all brought out in testimony. Robert even admitted that when my oldest son was 14, Robert grabbed Michael by the neck and lifted him off the ground because Michael called me a name. That was Robert’s idea of discipline!! When that happened I informed Robert not to ever put his hands on my children. I don’t even spank my children!!! Then they called Robert’s witnesses. They tried to call three witnesses but one of them was not even on the witness list so Robert’s mother was not allowed to testify. First witness was another old neighbor named Barbara. She is very close to Robert, She even told me right after I filed for divorce that she wanted to date him and to have sex with him! She moved to the same city as Robert. (Did I mention that Robert also lives in another county, he moved to Polk County and lives in a home that his mother purchased with the intentions of transferring it into Robert’s name after the divorce was final) He admitted that on the stand as well. Also listed on his financial affidavit that he paid the property tax on this property. Barbara stated that I was a great person and mother until I filed for divorce, then I totally changed. That she is a med tech and did not agree with the ADHD medications that Eric’s doctor had put him on. Next witness was Robert’s current Girlfriend and she testified that Robert was a great father. She was NEVER around us or our marriage and had no idea what kind of father he was prior to the divorce. Robert dated his current girlfriend in high school and then began dating her again in September 2013. That was the only evidence or proof of anything. He didn’t produce ANY not the first piece of evidence during this divorce trial. Just his word and his witness’s testimony. He accused me of being the worse person to walk the face of this earth and could not produce ANY proof of any of it. My attorney even out me back on the stand and asked me about all of the things that he had accused me of and I clarified that they WERE NOT TRUE! So now it was in the hands of the judge………

THE MOMMENT MY HEART WAS RIPPED OUT OF MY CHEST AND MY WORLD CRUMMBLED!!!

The judge looked over her noted for about 5 minutes and then stared telling me that I was a horrible person! She told me that I didn’t even love my children, that I only thought about myself, that my oldest children were a good example of bad parenting, that I WAS A DRUG ADDICT (SO SO SO SO untrue! I would have submitted to a drug test on the spot), that because I did not work and I lived with my boyfriend of a year that I was not stable (I really had no choice of where to go, Robert would have left us sleeping under a bridge if my boyfriend had not taken us in) She said that I was an alcoholic and so was my boyfriend because we drank socially and because when my boyfriend was 22 years old he was arrested for DUI and it was dropped, never convicted. She said that our household had domestic violence in it because my boyfriend was arrested in 2011 (Before I even knew him) for domestic violence and was NEVER convicted of anything! It was dropped! He was married at that time and him and his wife had an argument and the police said he was SUSPECTED of pushing her. No marks on her and it was dropped. When Robert was arrested in North Carolina for 3 counts of battery, one being on a minor. Robert admitted this in court and that was ok to the judge. That I refused to let my children see their father, she said the main reason she sided to give the children to their father was because I allowed them to go to an elementary school with a “D” Rating. Even knowing that they were honor roll students! Robert told her that the school he would sent the children to an “A” rating. She didn’t check herself, once again took his word. I looked the school rating up and it also is a “D” rated school. The judge stated that Robert was a very involved parent but yet on the stand he admitted that he did not attend but only 2 or 3 doctors’ visits (since we have been apart) and he didn’t even know the doctors names! She ordered for my children to be turned over to Robert and that I am only to have visitation. Every other weekend and dinner on Wednesday’s!! I don’t even know how this could happen and I NEED HELP GETTING MY CHILDREN BACK!! The judge said that he was a great parent because he does school projects with the kids (Just since we have been apart) and she didn’t hear me mention that I did any of that. I was not asked that question, I was only able to tell what I was asked. When I would try to tell the court other thing regarding me and my children, the judge would tell me to stop, that I was not being spoken too!!! She hated me and didn’t hear anything that I or my witnesses said. I thought that in order to punish someone for something you had to prove it. Proven innocent until proven guilty. Something is really wrong with the way that this judge runs her court and the decisions that she make. She has children’s lives in her hands and in the end the children are the one that suffer due to her own personal feelings. My oldest son pissed her off and I paid the price. I lost my precious babies. I am very close to my children. Really I am all they have ever had. Their dad was never there until he thought he was going to have to pay child support! I am at a loss and don’t know what to do. My heart was ripped out and stomped on!! My 8 year old even asked me and my boyfriend last night if we could have a yard sale to sell all of his toys and we asked him why he wanted to sell all of his toys. He replied, so that we can raise money so that mommy can get us back! The children are aware of the situation because Robert told them. Do you know how that broke my heart? My baby wants to be with me and there’s nothing I can do about it. I don’t have a lot of money to hire another lawyer. My boyfriend has a good job and makes good money. He had been employed with the same company for 13 years, lived in the same home for 12. He is taking care of 7 people and can’t afford to hire me another attorney either. The judge ordered me to pay child support. She also said that Robert was not to pay any retro child support to me because he paid 5 months of my car insurance. For a vehicle that he was also listed on the title and was also covered by insurance through the same policy. The judge said that I don’t get any additional marital property, even though Robert stole my wedding ring and engagement ring and pawned it. The things that he took from the home were worth over double the household item that he left in the home. I have to pay half of the household bills, including a Verizon wireless bill that Robert had in 2006. Robert was married to someone else and I didn’t marry him until 2008. How does this happen in America? I really have no faith in our justice system anymore  I just don’t know. I am begging someone to please HELP ME!! I may not know anything about myself but I know I am a good mother. I had a child at the age of 15, I gave my life to take care of my children. I live for my children. I love them more than breathing!!! I am forwarding this letter to anyone that will listen to me. All the way to the president of the United States. Someone out there had to do something to help me get my kids back. I will never be the same without them! Today is my birthday but I really don’t have anything to celebrate without my babies. I am willing to do anything I can to reverse this bad decision. How does a mother lose her kids when they are truly a good person?

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this!
Jennifer Kendrick

Betsy - posted on 07/09/2014

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So I have 2 daughters and have been a single mom their entire lives my oldest is 23 and my youngest will be 16 shortly. Up until 2 years ago My younger daughters father really took no part in her life. I found out when I was 6 months pregnant that he was married. he had begged me to get an abortion all the way up until I was 5 months. When my daughter was born I took him to court to establish visitations and the judge ordered him every other weekend which he declined because he didnt want his other daughter to know that "daddy had a baby with someone else" I have had her for 13 years raising her on my own. I moved to another state because her father had held me hostage at gun point for 6 hours where he raped and sodomized me while my oldest daughter was awake. He was a police detective for 22 years when this happened. I was taken to the hospital where they did a rape kit and was then taken to Internal Affairs He was arrested later that day. On bail He threatened me and told me he had a lot of bad friends that owed him favors. I ended up dropping charges and he raped me twice after that. Out of fear I moved 400 miles away. through the years I allowed him to see her and talked to her as often as he liked however, he did not take advantage of it . He would see her maybe twice a year and would call every now and again. He was eventually forced into early retirement as a result of my accusations and thats when all hell broke lose. I received a petition in the mail stating he was fighting for custody in the state i had fled 7 years prior... I consulted with an attorney who told me to file for custody in the state I had lived in for the last years an did I was awarded custody in my state and he was awarded custody in the state he filed. He than petition the courts to allow the state my daughter was born in to have Jurisdiction. He won.. At 14 years old my daughter had to leave with a man she hardly knew. She begged him to not take her but he did. I filed an appeal and have went through 10,000 in legal fees. I was awarded joint custody where I can get her every other weekend and all holidays and full summers. The judge also ordered that she call me every day. It has been almost 2 years and have only saw her twice. He has manipulated the system and every time i drive 400 miles to get her, he makes sure she is not there. I have called the police many times but each time one of his buddies would show up and i would be advised to take it to court which I have and he either doesn't show or postpones the hearings.... i am out of money and at my whits end. I miss my daughter very much when she gets a chance to sneak a phone she calls and tells me she wants to come home... I really need help.. I am so broken over all this and need help or advice.. thanks Bjetsy212@aol.com Oh I forgot to mention that my daughters were very close being that we were a family of 3, since her father took my youngest girl (they have different dad) He has not allowed her to have any contact with anyone on my side of the family. Not her aunts, uncles, cousins, Grandparents Her own sister not even me. Even though this man did horrible things to me, I never spoke bad about him to her and never denied him any rights. He is out for blood and doesn't even care about here. he just wanted to "pay me back" because he lost his wife and job.

Cassie - posted on 07/04/2014

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It is very wrong and disgraceful that there are so many mothers who don't have custody of their children. Even more sad if they're denied even seeing them. I have 4 kids and 2 of them live with their aunty. Been there 2 years and I've only been able to see them a handful of times.. Their aunty ( who is my eldest 3 kids' brothers wife) have recently split up and she's moved out with the kids ( hers and mine) and I don't even know where ( surely I have a right to know where my children are).. I've tried contacting their aunty via phone ( txt and calls), Facebook ( which she blocked me) have sent Xmas and birthday cards to their school ( I at least know they're still at the school) but nothing. I've spoken to lawyers but they don't seem like they know what to do. I'm very worried for my kids as my eldest daughter who is almost 10 is back living with me ( thank God!) because she was living with another aunty.. We'll dhs took her and gave her back to me as the aunty wasn't taking care of her like I thought. Now I'm scared my other 2 kids are being abused and brainwashed against me which isn't fair. They are 7 and almost 5 and I've missed a lot of their lives the past few years.. I'm meant to see them once a month and on special occasions like Xmas, birthdays etc but I either get ignored or get excuses. One lawyer I spoke to sent a letter out to the aunty warning her about breaching orders but things were ok for a short while now they're not. Ever since I had to go to court with dhs on my side to get back custody of my eldest she's gone into hiding because I have a feeling she's scared the other 2 kids will go back to me.. I thought I could trust her to take care of my kids and admit I wasn't coping with being a single mum of 3 at the time.. I thought I needed help not for my kids to be taken away forever.. I am now in another r/ship with a great guy I have a new son who is 3 months old and I'd love for him to meet his brother and other sister.. As I said my eldest is back with me which is great but she misses her siblings too.. Dhs won't help either but I may be getting a different case worker soon so hope he/she can do something.. Every day I miss my kids it isn't fair..:((

Heather - posted on 06/26/2014

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I also have three sons that my mother wont let me see. all three just had birthdays Zachary 17 june 12th, Jacob 16 june 4th, and Isaac june 10th... after 5 years of no contact she let them message me on the 10th out of nowhere on facebook. my oldest leaves for the navy next year and I begged her to let us start a relationship, she blocked me again. every single day is a nightmare. I miss them...

Kimberly - posted on 06/04/2014

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i gave my 2 kids to my mom now im 6 months pregnant would cps come to the hospital ??

Christina - posted on 05/01/2014

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I have custody of both of my kids but my 16 year old has been living with his grandma(adopted mom)there had been no rules,no consequences,he comes and goes as he pleases,I've called the police numerous times,they don't do much and now he's run away and has been gone for almost a week.Not to mention he's hanging around bad people and doing bad things and now he hasn't been out of school even .though its court ordered.Why isn't the grandma ever held accountable when he's in her home and I'm being left in the dark about everything?

Kristy - posted on 04/28/2014

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Thank you for your post, that gives me hope. My daughter is almost 8 and I think she is starting to understand already. I have had zero hope, for 7 years I have been trying but it is a small town and the main judge is my ex's uncle ( trust me, I know) I finally got a lawyer last year and held him in contempt for not allowing visitation but holding out for custody is apparently a loss. I had never been "unfit", just without the family and support he had. I suppose after so long I just need to see her as much as possible and move on because it is killing me

Vanessa - posted on 03/14/2014

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I need advice on what to do about my child's paternal grandma who has custody of my 16year old she took her to live in Texas today without telling me and I live in Iowa what can I do?

Vanessa - posted on 03/14/2014

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I lost custody of my child 15 years ago but just recently my 16 year old wants to move back in with me her paternal grandma has custody of her and took her to live with her in Texas I live in Iowa what can I do?

Linn - posted on 02/27/2014

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Its sad that their are so many mothers here without there children. Ive gone 2years without my 3 and I wake up crying and he got physical custody because he had a lawyer and a nice house and I had nothing and because I now have the same thing the courts find it fit that they stay with their father until they are old enough to decide. Ive fought many times only to lose. But my children know Ive fought that I will notgive up and iI believe later on in life they will realize how much I loved them. Not a day goes by that I dont think about them and Ive made it known by calls letters and gifts. I even email their teachers and help my oldest with school projects over the phone. I may not be there physically but I'm still there and I think it really matters. Dont give up hope keep praying and fighting. In the end whether you win or lose your children will know and love you more. My oldest is 12 and when she was here for Christmas she said "I know your doing all you can mom we all know you love us and soon we will be with each other more, I pray for it. I prayed for a sister and I got one so I know this will happen just dont give up" and coming from a 12year old its a huge statement.

Sophie - posted on 02/23/2014

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I have been going through a rough patch I had my daughter at 15 and this year I signed the residence order so her dad could care for her, I wanted her to have stability as I didn't when I was a child. Since her father has been granted residence he has stopped all Contact with my daughter she is 16 months now, and I have not seen her for 4 weeks now, any help or advice would be truly appreciated I'm 17 and can't stand this any longer

Tiffany - posted on 01/12/2014

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I need your help. I lost custidy of my kids to my mom. Then she moved out of state. Now she has brought the kids back to me but we havent went to court so I still have no rights. She has all the rights. Can the state take them from me if they find out the kids are living with me?

Mizz_21_nsexzee - posted on 12/19/2013

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It seems like we are all in the same boat and honestly who's helping us? No one. My kids were taken and honestly I don't even know why. My mom has them and I haven't seen them in two years. Goin back and forth to court. I have a son in my custody and I still can't get them back. It's like the courts enjoy taking our kids from us. What is this world coming to? How can they take control over another human beings offspring? How? I know I'm a very good mother or else I wouldn't have my son yet I can get girls back or see them due to the restraining order my mom has on me. How can anyone help?

Leah - posted on 11/21/2013

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please help me. i am going insane not having my beautiful babies with me. my name is leah and i lost my virginity to a bastard out of pennsylvania. im from mississippi and moved to pa 3yrs ago with the father of my children. i came from an abusive childhood of polygomy ran away because my dad arranged a marriage for me with an 50yr old man when i was only 19. .ran away into the arms of another emotionally abusive man. something inside told me to leave and to struggle to make it on my own and i was confident that i could with college. but boom... found out i was pregnant. so i decided too stay. moved to pennsylvania to be closer to the dads fam. i felt so alone in a alien state and he lo ved it. his own mom helped me get my first pa job and she also helped me hide ut from her son. it was hard living under the same roof as him aand hhiding a fullyime job. but i was determined get my own apt and raise my babies. and i did but being so desperate to grt from under his abusive thumb i was blind to all of financial obstacles having my own apt paying for my daughters daycare on a mim wage job. held onyo my little one bedroom apt for as long as i could before landlord kicked me iut fir losing my job. thats when i became homeless and felt forced to. let my babies dad take care of my little ones temporairily until i got on my feet. i recently fiund the best job ever and i rent a room in a townhouse so not living iutta my chevy astro anymore. but now the controlling bastard wont even let me see my babies. he is trying to take me to court for childsupport and get full custody of kids. i dont think so! someone please help me. i am sorry abiut all the typos. its 3am right now and am shakinng from pure determination to get my babies back with

Louise - posted on 11/06/2013

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p hav custody of a 10&13yr old...they dont want to listen or do anything but sat&wait 4moma to call...other than that all they want is to eat snaks&do nothin,they make me feel like they are using me till,deadbeat mom can get them...how should i deal with this??dont know why court dont wise up&see her for what she is???

Nikki - posted on 10/21/2013

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Hi, I need help and advice, ive already posted on here, I just want my son back hes my world n my ex is just being sn a**hole even down to limiting the time my 3year old spends with his 4 month old sister (40 mins a week) childrens services are involved and they believe hes bettrr off with hid dad who lives with his parents his bron his lil sis (they are aall at work except his sis) so no1 really spends time with my son, my ex has been on 3 hols this year all with his gf n 1 witn our son which he didnt even go full the fulk time!! My sons was diagnosed with hsp, due to constantly being ill since living with his dad, n his dad banned me from bisiting the hosp n told nurses not to give me info!
His gf haas been introduced to our son despite my concerns of her alcohol consumption (my dad was a violant drunk, one reason my ex was givin custody, but I havent spoke to him since that and havent seen him since a month later) I see my son 3 times a week for 2hours. n its not enough for me, I want custody or atIeast shared? The other reason he was given custody was because I was juggling my son, work and college on my own, and one day social worker came early in the morning (7am) and my home needed tidying a bit, however the worker exaggerated saying it was 'squalid' im worried ill never get him back because social workers reports stand above all else?? Please help!? TIA X

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