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Confused

ChristalW - posted on 10/14/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

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In 2008 I was diagnosed with Bipolar. Now 2 years later my mother tells me it was all a lie. She tells me she pushed the doctors into that direction to secure my financial situation. Also, in 2008 my marriage of 10 years ended. So, she tells me they believe I had a mental breakdown but had me diagnosed bipolar to make sure I could claim SSI because I married young and never worked. The thing is. I constantly have ups and downs. One day I could be as happy as could be and without warning start bawling my eyes out. I either dont sleep at all or I sleep way to much. Half the time I feel like Im running around on a high and the other half I feel I have no energy at all. I get very snappy at people for no reason at all. Im also a cutter but when I cut I do not realize I am doing it til afterwards. Since Feb. 2010, I have been having these hallucinations. They have always been autio and visual and of one person but within the last couple of weeks. I have been hallucinating of three people. Could my mother be telling me the truth and this all been a lie and I have made myself believe this is how it is suppose to be or could this been a result of all the different medications I have been on in the last 2 years. I have been in and out of hospitals alot of the last 2 years. And most hospitals have all agreed that I am bipolar or mood disorder but Im not sure if its because they seen it already on my medical records or what. Im so lost and confused. Im also not sure if I should explain mental illness to my children if I do have it because they are so young. 9 and 11 years old. Im not sure theyll understand something that Im not sure I myself understand or know if I have..any suggestions?

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2 Comments

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Cassandra - posted on 12/16/2010

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I'm not really sure where your mom is coming from, perhaps she sees that you are suffering from mental illness and cannot accept it (this happens frequently among loved ones unfortunately). And it sounds to me like you are classic Bipolar. And where as medication can cause Hallucinations (I can't take Lithium for that very reason) it could also be symptoms of another psychosis. Knowing that the things you are seeing are in fact hallucinations is a good sign that you ar enot psychotic, but you could have psychotic tendincies (I know that sounds crazy, but its treatable and it can be overcome through therapy and calming exercises). I know its hard feeling like you are all over the place but seeking treatment is a good thing, just remember to be honest with them and honest with yourself.

Tiffany - posted on 12/03/2010

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I was diagnosed with bipolar when my children were 2 and 3 years old. They are now 12 and 13. I also have a 2 year old. My children have known I have bipolar since they were very young. They seemed to take it well. As far as what your mother said. I don't know your mom but I know people with bipolar and know doctors that treat it. Your medication can cause hallucinations. Some of my meds have in the past and had to be changed. The symptoms you described is classic bipolar but I'm know doctor. Most doctors will take into consideration what your family says but they also evaluate you begore they make there diagnoses. If all the doctors you've seen over the past year say you have bipolar then you probably do. Hope this helps.

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