Does anybody invite the "ex" to the kids birthday party?

Christa - posted on 11/25/2011

Thank you for the replies, he has since got out of jail and pulled plenty of tricks, including trying to "get to me", he has broken promises to my son already! He got supervised visitation every 2 weeks for 2 hours. I have been more than generous with that. It seems the "thrill" is gone... He went from seeing him everyday to not even knowing if he's going to show for his visit every 2 weeks! Now I hear he's moving out of state! My sons law guardian tells me I HAVE to invite him to his birthday party!!! WHERE WAS HE FOR THE LAST 4 parties?!!! He gets all mad when I can't make it to a meeting ( giving me 4 days notice) just because he had 4 of his 5 kids in the same house! It's not fault he now has 5 kids with 3 different woman! It's not always possible to have all the schedules (including HIS parents as the supervisors)work out!! This should be interesting if he does show, he hasn't faced any of my family or friends since he left when I was pregnant!

Amanda - posted on 06/17/2011

My ex is similar. I don't invite him to visit anymore, it's a waste of time. If your son's father cared, he'd make his own plans.

Heidi - posted on 06/17/2011

In the past I use to invite my ex to his sons bday parties but my son is now 12 and my ex has only ever been to 2 of his bdays. So a few years back I stopped inviting and tried making other plans for my ex to see his son, but he didn't bother. My ex and his wife use to send gifts, and cards but they don't do that anymore either. Apparently they decided that they did not want to be "Disney parents" and they claim to me that they have since opened up a bank account and rather then send any gifts for different occassions they would deposit money into an account instead. Which is there choice, but when this past Christmas and my sons bday in April they didn't send him a card it made my son wonder what was going on. You see they never told him what there plans were so it made my son upset because my ex and his wife have 3 daughters together who are spoiled, and my son sees on facebook the gifts they get and read about things they do and he doesn't even get a card. It just doesn't make sense to him at all. So what my son decided to do the day after his 12th bday was to cut all ties with that side of the family. Its not just about gifts or cards its the fact that they didn't make time for him. You see months and months would go between visits and the longest span of time was 13 1/2 months. My son got fed up with excuses anad made the decision on his own to do what he did. I told him then and I still tell him now if he ever wants to contact his father he is more then welcome to. He knows there phone number. But honestly I won't hold my breath because they have hurt him sooo much in the past.

So my suggestion to you is not to invite him to the party you plan, but let the sperm donor make his own plans with your son. You don't need to do anything for the dad and you certainly don't need to put yourself in the middle. If the dad wants to see his son let him. If you wants to have a bday party for his son let him. Dont go out of your way to invite him and don't feel obligated to invite him either.

Do whats best for you and your son.