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Heidi - posted on 09/17/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Well I am new to this forum and it looks like not many people are talking, why is that? Is everyone shy or are you all chatting on another forum?

Here is a wee bit about me. I am happily married with 2 bio boys of my own and a stepson. My 10 year old son has a different dad then the other 2. So we have the his the hers and the ours. My ex is not the greatest dad in the world for my 10 year old to say the least. He is never here for anything, including birthdays, christmas, school functions and so on. The list is never ending. Other then paying his monthly child support he is completely useless what it comes to his only son. My ex is married with 3 daughters and it frustrates the hell out of me that he basically neglects his son. Thankfully my son has a wonderful stepdad. My husband is a great role model for him. It is just sad that his bio dad shows little or no interest at all in his son. It is mind boggling to say the least. Why would a parent treat one of there children differently then the rest?

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Kori - posted on 07/22/2010

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You should go after him for more child support especially since he makes more money! Yeah my sons dads wife tries to praise him and all that other BS but he is still the same POS he always will be and even she knows it because her kid from him (which is questionable) goes through all the same BS I went through AND THEY ARE MARRIED AND HE LIVES THERE! Yeah everyone laughs about the 7 dollars hahaha I think I bought Kaleb a happy meal hahaha I know it is sooo not funny but I had kaleb with a liar scoundrel cheating manipulating prick and thats the hand I was dealt and believe me sister I play a much better game than he does. He has tried to threaten me, bully me, turn all of this into it's my fault because he can't take responsibility for his own actions. He already lost all rights to his first son and he calls about every 4-6 months because he doesn't want to 'make the same mistake this time around' Yeah knockin up a 3rd person and forgetting you have 2 other kids was a great way to show a 'positive change'. He is a loser. He doesn't live that far away either and each time my son would want to see him there was always some lame excuse as to why he couldn't see him or he just wouldn't show up. He TOLD me to take him to court for child support and then he started foaming at the mouth when he got served with the papers and then he decided to get arrested 3 times and go to jail and then he got fired and now he refuses to work. I wish he would just go away permanently He isn't doing anything for his son and I am sure he never will. The last time I got anything it was a pair of shoes and that was the result of a screaming match in a target parking lot and him finally admitting he doesn't do anything for him. You can't just be a dad when you 'feel' like it. Be a dad all the time or kick rocks. You know? My son is better off with out him. I never say anything negative about his dad in front of him but sometimes I want to! My son figured out enough on his own with the lying and the constant let downs and he really doesn't want to see or talk to him. I let my son see him when it's HIS choice and then I am here to pick up the pieces afterward. I have such an awesome fun loving kid too it pisses me off to know end that they can make a baby but they don't want to stick around and take responsibility for the kids. It's never going to be my sons loss it will always be his dads loss and he is going to regret it one day when he loses yet another son. I think he will probably just keeping going out and making more. His wife was FORCED by the state to have her tubes tied after her 5th kid (they all have different dads) Gee I sure knew how to pick a winner. Thankfully my boyfriend now is AWESOME and we have been together for 5 years. That ties into the dad triangle....thats a whole other Jerry Springer episode though...... :)

Heidi - posted on 07/22/2010

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$7 for child support? What the hell are you suppose to do with that?
So we are heading to Disney on August 26th until September 3rd and I have to have permission from my ex for my son to travel with us. So I sent my ex an email and a letter of consent because its now been 7 months since my ex has seen his son(busy with work you know) and at first my ex said he would sign it and email it back... well that never happened. I emailed it one day and my son kept asking his father when he would email it back and his father kept saying its in the mail its in the mail. Well it was never in the mail! Finally I got on the phone with my ex after 10 days of him saying its in the email and he had the nerve to say if I wanted it I would have to drive to his place( which is 2 1/2 hours away) to get it. So me being stubburn and I went to my lawyer instead... We started all the paperwork to go to court and because I need 90 days to ensure it would all go through and by this time we had less then 60 my lawyer couldnt gaurantee that we would get into court prior to us leaving, so I had 2 options... 1 could take the chance we would get into court on time, or 2 drive to my ex and pick it up myself...so after a whole lot of talking with my husband and he had to really convince me but we ended up driving there to get it. Something I really didn't want to do since its been almost 2 years since I have had to see my ex. So lucky for us we have the consent letter now and all is good, but son is very angry with his bio dad for not signing it and emailing. Would have made life much easier. So now I am still going through my lawyer to have other issues dealt with, such as a permanent letter of consent, change our visitation schedule(my ex is suppose to come every other week) which he hasn't done so in years and I always get the blame, his job has changed and he makes WAY more money, so I am going after him for my child support just to piss him off. He has never put his son first for anything, and I am not saying he should always put his son first, but he should at least be a part of his life. If his wife posts on here or anywhere else she will praise him to the heavens and back, but this man is a liar, cheater, manipulator, and only cares for himself. Sure he might be a changed man(but I highly doubt it) and he may be a great father to his 3 daughters, but when it comes to his only son he is completely useless, no matter what she says. She can have her opinion and I can have mine. Its still a free country right?!

Kori - posted on 07/22/2010

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My sons dad is a POS. My son is 8 and the last time I got child support was 3 years ago and it was for $7 (YES 7 DOLLARS) He has 3 kids with 3 moms and his wife has 5 kids with 5 dads. Nice huh? Anyway he lost custody of his first born who is now 12 just recently. He was adopted by his step father. I am DEFINITELY NOT SHY when it comes to talking about this. Its frustrating, infuriating and not fair that any child has to go through this. My son is way better off with out his dad so I am actually glad that he is rarely ever around. He is a loser and a douche bag and just a worthless intellectual wasteland

Heidi - posted on 10/05/2009

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Well its nice to see someone on this sight wants to talk. I wish more people would because we all need a little help once in a while.

My 10 year old son talked to his dad for the first time in over a month yesterday! The dad left a message earlier in the week saying that he has been trying for weeks to call, but its a crock of shit and he knows it. My son keeps a log of when his father visits and calls. Everything is dated so my son knows his father was lying to him and that hurts his feelings. He told his dad yesterday that he was mad about all of this and the dad said " well I have called and you didn't call me back." He is such a lying SOB. Why bother lying to your son? My son knows when his father is to call and visit. Does my ex honestly think his son is dumb and doesn't know any better? My son is very bright and smart, so no matter what my ex says or does its usually a lie. Just trying to save face or something. In my eyes he is completely useless. In the last 15 months thankfully I have only had to see his smug face once. You see my ex has only seen his son twice this year, and twice last year and he usually has someone else pick up my son and drop him off. Pathetic. I would do anything and everything to see my children as much as possible. I wouldn't let my job, my spouse, or other kids interefere with that at all. I guess that is what a parent does when they love a child, and when a parent doesn't love a child they either see there kids out of convience or ignore them all together. Just trying to figure out which is better of both evils.

Some men don't deserve to be dads at all. I wish my husband could adopt my son, but my ex wont let him. my god I wanted to have my sons last name changed to my maiden name and my ex talked my son out of it saying it sounded stupid. Its something my son wanted to do. Its only a name, and when my son is 12 he wants to change his last name for sure and there is nothing his bio dad can do because he will be old enough to decide and not have to have permission from his bio dad.

I hope all works out with you Chelsea and stay strong. And don't listen to anything your exes with has to say, because I have read a lot of crap from my exes wife and its just like you said Blah Blah Blah.

Chelsea - posted on 10/01/2009

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Man thats tough.....at least your husband is there for him.....I have a similar situation....some what....I have a 6yr old His bio has had nothing to do with him...He has an other son and takes care of him....my husband and I are in the process of having him adopted by my husband....and Out of the blue the bio's wife sends me a messages, saying they want him in their lives, and Blah blah......I"m thinking 6yrs is a little late.....and for the both of us (u and I) I think are kids are better off with men (my husband and yours) that want them in their lives and have from the day they met them.....And it is mind boggling, to have men that want so much to be a part of our kids' lives and then to have men that are REALLY suppose to be in their lives and choose not to be or refuse to be...

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