just when does empty nest take hold?
MOST HELPFUL POSTS
Karen - posted on 05/14/2009
I felt it when my daughter left home five years ago...she's 23. My son, just turned 19 yesterday and he is in college now. The holidays this year will be tough because they already want to spend them with their "significant others." So my husband and I really don't know what to do then either. I feel kind of lonely when I think of my son leaving the house for good. So I think it's different for everyone.
Carolyn - posted on 12/24/2009
I found it difficult for each of mine. I missed them both when they left home. My son has been married for 5 1/2 years and expecting his first child. I still miss what we had before all that. We are still communicating well, but still miss the days when he was younger and needed me. My daughter has recently moved out after Thanksgiving and I miss her as well. It is a big adjustment when your kids do not need you as much as when they were younger. Trust that they will call upon you when they need and hopefully even if they do not. Be there, and keep the channel of communication open and things will get a little easier, I am hoping. It is a adjustment for them as much as it is for me/you. Pick up a hobby or activity you were not able to do when raising your kids, it helps pass the time and heal the lost heart. Keep busy and God Bless all the empty nests this holiday season.
Connie - posted on 10/22/2009
Our youngest (of 3) is in her last year of college. Her departure has had the most impact on us. We did fine when we got her off to college but with coming back for summers and Christmas we find we get into a rhythm of family back home. Once she is off again it takes a bit of readjustment to get back into the mindset of "Just us". We have both commented that she doesn't require that much from us it is just comfortable to cook for more than two, to have another person to talk with about our days, to hear her youthful enthusiasm, have supplies for impromptu gatherings. These are things we have never done just for us. I agree with several of you that I am so pleased to see how our children are choosing their own paths and making their own homes. I am just kind of surprised to find that I must have lost myself along the path of raising children and it has taken some real reflection to learn more about the self I didn't know I had become.
Anna - posted on 09/15/2009
I also am a SAHM, and my baby is a freshman 3 hrs a way. My other child lives in town and he drops in fairly often, usually when he is hungry--do boys ever stop eating? The house is so quiet now and things are put away instead of piled on the table. We find there are too many dishes in the cabinets, we are still buying too much food. Slowly we are adjusting.
Betsy - posted on 08/15/2009
I am starting to feel very "empty" now. We have 5 children and our oldest one is married and living on the opposite side of the country with my 2 grandchildren. :( *tear We have 3 in college this year, but luckily it's only about 40 minutes away, so they will be coming back about twice a month to do laundry and have dinner. :) The last of our 5 is driving now and a senior this year in high school, so I do spend a lot of my time by myself. I am a SAHM mom and this year it will hit me the hardest. I have noticed lately though,that my husband comes out of his den a lot more and finds me wherever I am in the house. We are getting along just great lately. :)
Heather - posted on 05/06/2009
I have a toddler and a 20 year old at home and the 17 year old I raised lives with his father. I miss the 17 year old just as badly as I missed the 20 year old when she lived with my mother for a year and the 17 year old was still at home. Nobody prepared me for that kind of pain or the lack of respect society shows me for what I did with my life. Yes, it does hurt this much and you have a right to grieve. There is nothing wrong with you.
Jamie - posted on 01/28/2009
Both of mine are just a couple hours away so I visit them and together we explore their new surroundings so we don't lose touch entirely. But thruth be told, after so many years of putting everyone else first I acually enjoying this new found solitude. Now I can do what I want when I want, and if I don't want I don't (lol). Am i the only one who seems to enjoy this new found freedom?
Pat - posted on 01/23/2009
It is different with each one. My son left three years ago and comes home about 3 times a semester. He is only a couple of hours away but has a job and friends. The day we drove home from setting him up in his dorm room, I cried. I knew it was a turning point for him and us. My daughter on the other hand is actually the one I worried about the least. I felt like she was ready to take on the world. I still have one at home and I think that has made it alot easier.
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