Hillary - posted on 08/13/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )
My husband and I have been together for 8 years, married for 4. We have a 1 year old little boy who is the joy of our lives. Recently, my husband came to me and told me that he was unhappy, that he thinks I do not respect him or his friends, that his friends do not want to be around me, that I do a terrible job at keeping the house clean, that I nag him constantly, embarass him in public. This is the first time he has ever said this to me, MEANWHILE I have no problem telling him when something bothers me, so I will say to him, please do this, please don't do that, etc... His social life means a lot to him, sometimes i think it means more than me, and his saying this stuff is proof positive to me. He goes out very frequently with his friends, to his friends houses, etc... but not at like normal hours, he goes out until 1, 2, 3, 4, sometimes 5 am!!! I know he is not cheating on me, I know exactly where he is, but its like really, hang out with your friends at normal times. On top of this, we don't see each other a lot, he works 3 days in a row, so I don't see him until Thursdays usually, and every other Thursday he has game night with one friend, and the nights he doesn't have game night it is he hangs out down the block. If we have a night to ourselves, he will just go out when I go into bed. I tell him repeatedly that I dont like this, that this is the reason we have no intamcy, because he never actually comes into bed when I am awake! He never lifts a finger to clean, on Fridays he stays home with the baby and I have to wake him up like a teenager, and he will let the baby cry until he is ready to get up. He has terrible hygeine. He tells me that he is willing to change everything but the social life. He wants me to change, but he wont change the one thing that bothers me the aboslute most! He is rude to my family. He and I are different religions, I am supposed to do his religious sutff, but he won't step foot at anything having to do with my religion except for one thing that I told him was a dealbraker from day one. We have an appointment with a counselor on the 23rd. I don't know what this woman is going to say. He says I never seem happy (I have a horrible stressful job with a boss that bullies me, I can't quit because I am the breadwinner, and have tried to get a new job with no avail). His friends think I am a B and tell him he can do better, so um yeah I don't respect them if they are telling him to divorce me. My mom said to me "does he think that?" and I said "I don't think so, but his self esteem is the size of a thimble, so I am worried he might leave me due to his peers" I feel like this is high school! Please be honest with me. I don't know what to do. Part of me is thinking, maybe we are over, and then I think I really can't see the rest of my life without him. I do love him.