dont know why he wont marry me after 15ys

Alex - posted on 07/31/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I have been with my boyfriend/common law husband for 15yrs. We have 2 kids son is 15yrs & daughter 12yrs he is a great father an all but as our relationship he wont say the I do's :-( we are still young I'm 31 an he is 34. I have told him lets get married but I guess he is still not ready cause nothing has happen yet. I feel like a failure also giving my kids a bad example on comment. At times I feel Im wasting my time on someone who doesnt acknowledge me. I dont know :-/ but my thoughts are telling me to let go of him. Pls help I'm in need of advises!

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6 Comments

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Starr - posted on 11/08/2012

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How is the relationship otherwise? I understand wanting to be married and to set a good example for your children but if things are working well the way they are I would try not to stress about it. Maybe he has some fear of marriage or maybe he feels pressured so he's refusing all together? Maybe he is waiting for the perfect moment or when you least expect it. If things are great the way they are I wouldn't give up on the relationship just because he wont say I do. Since you've already talked about it and he still hasn't done it I would drop the subject altogether and see what happens.

Megan - posted on 09/29/2012

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I completely understand wanting to be married after being together so long. Sometimes men have a fear that marrige will change things. They see it on TV, Movies, and Friends and sometimes it looks like it changes everything. He may be madly in love with you and totally committed and happy with the way your life curretnly is and doesnt want to mess anything up. You said it yourself outside of weeding rings and a paper stating your married you have the dream life. When people get married sometimes they feel that the romance goes out the door and they are entitled to be pushy or lazy. I think you should just really talk to eachother, let him know why you want to be married the bennifits and what it means to you and ask him why it's not important to him and if there is a fear involved. BEST LUCK

Alex - posted on 09/05/2012

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Melissa ur a joke! Guess u would be one to know...LoL...

Anyhow @Amy & Vikki we have had the talk but tells me to wait... Im so ready! I got the house of my dreams 2 beautiful wonderful kids he is totally committed to me... idk

Amy - posted on 09/03/2012

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My husband and I were together for a total of 9 years and had a daughter before we got married. The only difference in your situation and being married is a piece of paper and/or rings. As long as your in a stable, loving relationship that is fully committed, then that's all that matters. And it doesn't give the kids a bad example. In my opinion, it is better to be in a fully committed relationship like you are than for what most marriages turn out to be: ending in divorce. Both of you have to be ready. Sit down and talk to him, not at him. Ask him why he hasn't married you yet.

User - posted on 08/29/2012

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Hi Alex,

Have you actually sat down and had a conversation about marriage? Has he said that marriage isnt for him?

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