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How long should I stay?

Fanta - posted on 06/09/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Hey everyone my name is Fanta Smith. I have been with my husband for 8 years and only married for 6 months going on 7. My child is only 4 months old and since having him it seems like my eyes have opened up to alot of the issues that my husband and I have. I feel like the only reason why he married me is because I was having his child. He has told me as such and also said that reason why he took so long to propose to me is because he did not want to feel pressured and did not want to give in to his mother. He does not do anything around the house or help with the baby at all. I feel like I have to do everything around the house and do everything for my son and all he wants to do is hold my son and chill with his friends and play video games. We are going to counseling but I don't think that he takes it seriously at all. Every thing that I do or say is a complete joke and he never cares about my feelings on anything. He never takes me anywhere and we don't do anything as couple. He has said that he is okay with me leaving and taking my son to another state to live as long as he has peace. I don't know how much I still love him but I feel like I am going to leave at the end of the summer to give the counseling a try but my question is should I leave earlier?

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3 Comments

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Rose - posted on 03/29/2010

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Set with him or do bring this up at the counseling meetings you guys have together and tell him..you are a loving mother who have concerns and hurt feelings and he need to not play this game and ether give it 100% or just come out and tell you what is his plane? Where can he see him self in 5 years from today? With you? With out you? If not,,it is his lost. You Do try and give it 100%. So if someday your son ask you ,,why did you guys break up,,,you can tell him very proudly why,knowing in your heart that you tried your best.
Good luck honey,,and hang in there.

Christy - posted on 03/22/2010

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Give the counseling a try for a bit longer, your plan sounds perfect to me. You have set a deadline, be sure to stick to it. If you leave sooner, you may constantly question yourself. Tell him the deadline date. Things may get worse or may get better. You never know. I am so sorry you are going through this, he sounds like he is in denial. He can only chill with his friends for so long before they move on in their lives themselves. Also think of it this way, if it doesn't work, you have moved on and can start a new and happier life with you and your son. Good luck honey!

Shelly - posted on 06/10/2009

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Fanta,

Why would you want to stay in a loveless marriage that he's not willing to even work on the marriage??? I am not an advicate for divorce but if you have tried to save it and he's not willing to even try to save the marriage then why are you staying that long??? You can not save a marriage by yourself if he's not willing to act like an adult and face the problem then pack your stuff and go find a man that will respect you and treat you like the GEM that you are!!! No one deserve to be treated like a miad and a cheap date you deserve a man that will treat you like a queen one that is willing to work on a relationship one that will love you for you and not just a baby making machine!!! I am a big advocate for marriage and you do what ever you can to save it...But if you have done that and he's still not willing to work on it then RUN as fast as you can!!!



I will keep you and your son in my prayers that he will give you peace in your decition!!!

Lots of love for another mother

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