Lindiwe - posted on 06/12/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )
3
20
Your husband feels that your daughter comes first and says he cant have love for your shortcomings, his love is basically conditional. Is that fair to live with or am I making a big deal out of nothing.
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Van - posted on 11/14/2012
2
0
I feel that way for my husband. I love him but not unconditionally. We have fought alot about this because he feels that I should. I love our son unconditionally. There is nothing I wouldnt do for our son. I would die for him if I need to. But for my husband ... I dont know. Does that mean I don't love him? I don't think so. I love him but I wont die for him. I just value myself a little more. I feel like our son needs me more than he needs my husband. This may sound selfish but i do have my reasons why i feel this way.
Elisha - posted on 07/06/2012
80
69
No, it's not fair for you to live with that. that's a selfish man and he doesn't have the right to tell you that. He doesn't have any excuse not to love you unconditionally. He shouldn't say he loves your daughter more. He wouldn't have her if it weren't for you. He needs to pull his head out of his tail.
Lindiwe - posted on 06/13/2012
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20
My thoughts exactly!! I think of all the times I have overlooked certain actions feeling that if I choose to not accept that about him, it means I dont truely love. So he cant understand why it would hurt my feelings that he cant accept my mistakes or imperfections!
Neva - posted on 06/12/2012
269
11
If love is conditional, then it isn't really love at all, in my mind. My definition of love has more to do with action than with feeling. Loving is to treat the other person with respect and have that other person's best interest at heart. It is a decision to care for that person even when the person is doing things that drive you nuts. The best gift parents can give to their children is to show love and respect for the other parent. If your hubby "can't love your shortcomings" what happens when your child shows some of those. She will start to feel unloved for those things in her. Every spouse has something about them that the other spouse doesn't really appreciate, but love is accepting a person for who they are and giving them respect anyway.
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