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husband problem help!

Jenny - posted on 11/09/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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well me and my husband have been married for 3 years and been together for 14 years and we have 4 kids together but my problem is that when i'am home we do nothing together and when we aren't together he is the same way don't won't to help with the kids and or around the house i'am stuck doing it all and i'am tried of it doing all of that then going to work and coming home to a dirty house it's just upsets me and he don't no why then he ownly noices me when he is in the mood and that gets oldi'am stressed and hurt about all of it and all he says is that he will change and he does for a few days and he is right back to the same thing all over again! and i'am tried of trying to whole a marriage together by my self and it's not working at all! feel free to help in anyway you can thanks! then he likes to get upset for dum things and when does he stomps his feet and throws stuff like a big baby and he don't care if are kids see him act like that because thats how he was raised his dad is the same way with his mother but he gets upset when he treats his mom that way but its ok for him to treat me like that what do do i feel that i' love him but i'am not in love with him like we were when we first mean't and he told me we need the friendship back and i toldly agree with him but how do you fix that after the way thing are now and the way i am feeling about him?

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5 Comments

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Shannon - posted on 01/15/2010

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i feel for you dear, i am starting to feel like i'm in the same sort of situation, been together for 5 years with 3 kids and his lack of help has really increased since the baby arrived. i dispise him some days and want to leave. but i know thats not what i really want and we try to do a movie night out or after the kids go to bed. just spend some time together. when we get the rare chance we go and do something that we did when we were dating/ before the kids came along just to remind me that i do enjoy his company. all i can suggest to you is something you probally already do, do things or tell yourself that you still care about him. try to tell him when he starts to do something that really bothers you. i'm trying to work out a system with my husband where he has certain things to do with the kids (daddy time) that will help me out and get him involved - let you know how that goes -

good luck to you and i hope that things start to get better for you. i'm in the same boat with you so lets paddle together

Brianna - posted on 01/04/2010

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hey a great way to do the date night is to sart the first 2 or 3 by making it a serprise and than makeit a ruten

Shelly - posted on 12/18/2009

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Quoting Christy:

It's not too late. Make a date night at least once every 2 weeks to get closer, without the kids of course!!!!!!! I know how you are feeling. Make time to be alone and talk, no TV, no kids, no interruptions. I know you are feeling distant now, you just have to work harder now that you have kids.



Christy,



  I could not of said it any better...If I was to add anything it would be sit down and write down the reasons that you fell in love with him.  What was it that made you take that second and third look??  Just because we have children does not mean that we give up the part of our life that is a lover and a friend to our husbands.  That is one of the most important relationships in your marriage...

Ramak - posted on 12/03/2009

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dear jenny:
you sound like a supper woman who does it all. you also sound exhausted and resentful towards your husband for not being a team player. i pray for you to pick the path that you were meant to be on. the reality is that we can't change anybody but our selves. don't spend your energy on how he shouldn't or should be. spend your energy on what makes you and your precious kids happy and peaceful. hopefully you can role model happiness for your husband and he would want to play in your team with you guys. best of luck. keep your chin up and focus on staying happy and cheerful. believe me it is contagious!!!

Christy - posted on 11/17/2009

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It's not too late. Make a date night at least once every 2 weeks to get closer, without the kids of course!!!!!!! I know how you are feeling. Make time to be alone and talk, no TV, no kids, no interruptions. I know you are feeling distant now, you just have to work harder now that you have kids.

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