I think I am losing it.

Jennifer - posted on 01/15/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I love my husband, but I feel like I am not in love with him anymore. He says he still loves me and wants to be around me, but I feel like I am just a convenience to him. I can't end it with him, there are too many complications involved, inlcuding the kids, one of which is special needs. I feel like we should not be together anymore sometimes, but I can't bring myself to hurt him by leaving him. I just don't know what to do. The worst part is that my best friend is a guy, and we have been getting a lot closer lately, but I am not a cheater and cannot do that to either of them. I don't know what to do. My husband has no idea I feel the way I do.

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5 Comments

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Rose - posted on 03/29/2010

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It is normal after some time in a marriage you get bored with the marriage or just simply forget why were you ever in love with you husband.

Do look at the good times you both had,,old pict (together) if he is welling,you should give it a try. Having a guy friend can make it harder to try IF you have some comfort feelings with him. Try to talk to your husband about the same things you talk to friend about.
I do agree with Christy and what she had to say.

Your friend can be a negative feed to your marriage, because if you have that comfort talk and feelings with him,,you may not feel the need to work harder on your marriage.
When i was feeling some how distant with my husband ,i told him, and he ask me,,what am i doing wrong? We talked and worked on what it is making me feel distant and bored and unhappy.
Get the distraction a way and work on it,give it a try. And be strong.

Billie - posted on 02/23/2010

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You need to tell your husband how you feel. Emotionally cheating is just as bad if not worse than physically cheating in my eyes. Just be honest. If you can talk to your husband and go from there, maybe try counseling, or maybe try to get out more with him and make it a priority to have time to connect again. After that if you still feel the same then get a divorce, but try to make your family whole again before you resort to that.

Shelly - posted on 01/26/2010

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Jennifer,

I'm sorry but how selfish of you. And yes I do mean what I say. You have found someone thaqt you can confide in and have have just kind of left your husband flapping in this marriage by himself thinking that he has a wife that loves him and as far as you not being a cheater...Guess what girlfriend y9u are cheating you have given your heart to another man. Yea you may not have had your close fall off and drop into bed with him but you have allowed him in places only your husband should be. And hown selfish of you using your kids for an excuse if your not wanting to be in the marriage then get out and quit acting like you have something you want to save...Go file for divorce or tell your friend to get on down the road and work on your marriage.

Christy - posted on 01/20/2010

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Try counseling. People get bored in marriages after a routine is established, and it gets more mundane with children involved. I feel your pain!!!! Make time for each other without the kids, at least once a week or once every 2 weeks. Reconnect, you need to. And stop communication or at least limit it with your best friend. That will only complicate matters if you don't. You owe it to our husband, your children, AND yourself to try to work it out. Communication with the better half is KEY. Maybe there are things he is doing w/o even knowing it that he can work on as well.

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