Left Him

Katelyn - posted on 02/19/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I am not married, but engaged. We have a 10 month old daughter together and have been together for 4 years. He has been emotionally and verbally abusive towards me for a large portion of our relationship, and I have had enough. Everything is always my fault, I have problems, I need to fix myself. The day I decided I was ready to walk away, we had gotten into a fight in the parking lot of the hospital where I was to be having tests. I have been having a lot of medical problems lately with precancerous cells on my cervix, and benign tumors on one of my ovaries. He started yelling so loud and punching the steering wheel where I just totally freaked out and ran out of the car. He then drove off. He just left me there, I had to call my mother who was watching our daughter to pack her up and drive across town to pick me up. He then proceeded to not speak to me until the next morning and began blaming me for the whole incident and saying I was "bad". That just did me in. I left him right then and there. He does all these horrible things to me but I still can not get over him. The other side of his terrible ways were loving and sweet, and I can't help but to miss those times. I keep asking myself if I should have tried more, if I should have made him gone to counceling or something, but he never even thought he had a problem. Why can I not get over my positive feelings for him? Something is wrong with me.

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Danielle - posted on 04/05/2012

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I am absolutely in the same boat. I actually have a protective order against him at the moment and keep sitting here wondering if I should drop it because I miss him. When things were good it couldn't be any better. Makes me forget that when things were bad I would want to die. I see all the family pictures and remember all the good times and it takes everything I have to not call him and tell him to come home. If I can tell you anything we both went to counseling separately by psychologist suggestion. They said until we had both worked out our issues we wouldn't be able to work on anything together. Mainly because she said I needed a domestic violence support group and he needed anger management. It didn't work and we never made it to counseling together. Just try and think about your daughter and the life you want for her. Do you want her seeing that as a healthy relationship? Doesn't work when people say it to me but maybe it will click with you. You can send me a message anytime you feel like taking him back and we can talk until it passes for both of us.

Michelle - posted on 02/19/2012

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that is normal feelings for someone who has been abused go and get yourself into counseling it will help.

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Anne - posted on 06/21/2012

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read ''fascinating womanhood'' i hope it is of help to you..it was to me and my marriage has never been the same

Ellie Richardson - posted on 05/11/2012

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Its totally normal. It takes time to heal and get over a person. You are human and its okay to miss his good qualities cause those good qualities are the reasons u stuck around an fought for the relationship in the first place.Take some time to figuare what u and him want an maybe you and him can still see counseling together, that doesn't mean u have to give up on being civil to each other and co parenting.

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