Not married but BF cheated when I was pregnant and got her pregnant. What would you do?

Jessica - posted on 06/24/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My boyfriend of 2.5years and I have a 6 month old son. This year on memorial day he told me he cheated on me with one night stand total stranger last year on memorial day and has a child with her. The child is bout 4 months old now. She waited a year to say anything because she didn't even know his name nor did he know hers or anything bout her. It is confirmed his child. She out of luck went to the same camp site as last year that they had sex at and found him there to tell him. She also had to do paternity test on about 3 or 4 different guys before my bf...They both blame it on drinking. My bf didn't even want our child when I told him I was pregnant and told me to get a abortion but I didn't and never would have....I was going to just raise my son on my own...but he slept with a total stranger without a condom! :( breaks my heart! He wants to work things out, but how? I love him so so much but being involved with the other child he is also going to have something to do with her and it hurts. I know I shouldn't just be mad at her because she probably didn't know he had a pregnant gf, but I am mad and hurt by both of them....she apparently knew it was his kid by her ovulation day is what she told my bf...and to me it sounds like she was trying to get pregnant. She was 20 at the time...she is now 21...my bf is 29, and I am 26...i feel like he ruined things for our future....I want to just leave and not deal with the mess, but I want to do what's best for my son....I'm no longer angry just really badly hurt.....

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Courtney - posted on 01/06/2014

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I literally went through this exact same situation except my fiance knew the girl from when they dated in h.s.....normally id say "Screw him and move on!" BUT-it has been almost a year now and he has been nothing but good to me and im 100% he hasnt messed around since...you know ur bf better than anyone so id amswer this ? By following his actions and seeing if he is trying to even earn ur trust back..those sorts of things bc the saying "always a cheater"...i no longer believe simply bc of my own experience.Yes i think ab what he did ALOT and if he will ever do it again and the baby...but im learning to stop bc it gets nowhere except going insane! Do whats best for YOU and ur BABY bc thats wayy more important than any man...good luck!

Elisha - posted on 07/06/2012

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NO brainer... dump his @$$ and file for child support before the broad does. Move on and be happy. If you stay with him, he'll continue to cheat on you, because he'll see your staing with him after he was caught as your giving him permission to cheat on you.

Louise - posted on 06/24/2012

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He has decieved you for a long time. Not only did he cheat but he hid the fact too. How could you trust him again. If you suspected nothing, how can you tell if he has done this before with someone else. The fact he is having unprotected sex is a big worry, what is he going to bring back to you? Personally the fact that he hid this would be enough for me. He cheated that is bad enough, but you could of got over that in time. He was not going to tell you, he just got caught. Could you see this relationship lasting a long time, sorry but I cant. You will always be suspicious of where he is and what he is doing. If he blames it on the drink, is he going to give it up to keep his dick in his pants! No! Then get rid. You and your child deserve a real man that loves and respects you. Unless this man is showing huge signs of remorse (which I doubt) kick him to the kirb, you are worth more!

Michelle - posted on 06/24/2012

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First off you need to decide if you still love him and if you want to make things work. If you do then the two of you need to go into couples counseling and deal with the underlying problem which is he cheated on you not that he created another life. Sounds to me like she knew she could get pregnant and suckered him into becoming a father. I also think you need to get some private counseling about the other child so you can be a good influence on it if you do decide to stay with him.

Jessica - posted on 06/24/2012

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He just found out bout the child this memorial day but he didn't bother telling me he cheated when I was pregnant until this year memorial day when he told me he had another kid.....:(

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