Think of giving up

Jerrie - posted on 03/26/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Ok i been married to my husband for about 4 years now and we been together for about 5 years. We have 2 kids together. At the begging of our relation ship it was more like a fairy tale. everything about him was just perfect. then we got married we lost our first pregnancy after trying for 6 month to conceived. he was by my side through the whole thing. 3 months late i found out i was pregnant for our daughter. I was put on bed rest for the fist 3 months of my pregnancy. around months 5-6 i found out he was messing around with his ex again. we had talked and worked things out. the night i went in to have our daughter he was more worried about everyone else tht was there more then me. he thought me being in pain was funny because his brother was there and thought it was funny. as it got closer for her to come out he started to straighen up and stick by my side. after have our daughter he was so helpful. always wanted to feed her or change her and hold her. My lil girl was 4 months old when i became pregnant for my son. The first 12 weeks was rough on me so he steped in with the dirty diaper duty. he went back to work and my dad help out a lot. i was catching up on some much needed sleep. right around the time i was 3 or 4 months pregnant my daughter was put into the hospital with a life threating flesh eating disease call MARSA. My husband ended up leaving to go meet his ex girl friend and they ended up making out and he bought her some cigs. To keep my family from falling apart we talked it out and i stayed with him. We are now in our own home with our own little family and he got a old job bck. He leaves for work before anyone is up and he gets home late. When he gets home he doesnt say one word to me and jump on the computer and starts looking up stupid things. I get no help from him around the house any more. I gotta do everything and im suppose to start school april 18, i tried to talk to him about more help but for some reason the way he was raised up the male only job in a marriage is to work. so i gotta clean the house, do yard work, take out trash, wash clothes, dry, fold, and put them up, i take care of the pet we got, cook, and take care of the kids. I am so stress and just don't know what to do any more.

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Kacee - posted on 04/01/2011

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That sounds like such a plan Christy but I'm ina similar situation - not with the cheating but with the fact that I just don't know what to do anymore and I want so badly some days to leave. How do you last? How do you literally plan to take your children away from their father, yourself away from the husband you vowed yourself to in front of God and everyone else? How do last through the misery? I would love if you had the answers because I do not and I need them.
I'm sorry that this is happening to you and I wish that I had the advice that Chirsty does because it sounds like great adice but what I can offer is that you are not alone, you are better than he gives you credit for, you are stronger than you know and you can do anything you need to to take care of those babies. After all, that's why we're here right? Now that we're mom's our life's goal is to protect and care for our kids through thick and thin. The only way I get through it is I laugh with my daughter. We turn on old rock music and we dance and sing and headbang in the living room. We smile and play and she makes it all worth it, most days. But there are those nights after the baby goes down to bed and I think if I could only leave him I'd be so much happier. So I get it - but you've got a friend here who knows and who sympathizes. My heart hurts for you and for me. Stay strong!

Christy - posted on 03/29/2011

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I am so sorry you are going through all this stuff. Sounds super stressful and even harder with 2 little ones.

You are going to have to put your foot down. Who cares if he was raised "Old Fashioned" (where the woman does everything pertaining to the household)! ALSO what a SH%T for leaving to meet an EX while your daughter had MRSA. That is UNACCEPTABLE. You have to ask yourself this question: Are you ready to put up with this, and have your children witness it, the rest of your lives together? He is selfish, PERIOD. Not only is he screwing YOU over with two timing you, he has screwed over your children, and it won't stop until he has a "Come to Jesus" moment, which will probably never happen.

Make a plan. Go to school, finish up and get the hell out AFTERWARD. This way you have an education and resources to take care of yourself and your children. You deserve so much better than him!!!!!!

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