how do you deal with feeling envious?

Tabitha - posted on 08/10/2012

I know the feeling. I have never wanted anything more than to be a Mother, I am blessed to have a beautiful step daughter but I still want to have another child. I am trying to stay positive in the situation but it is hard at times. Good luck to you.

Gina - posted on 10/11/2011

I used to feel that way when stuggling to conceive my daughter, but now i have her, i am so thankful and realise how lucky i am to have just one baby - so many other women never get that chance. However, envy is only natural.

SARAH - posted on 02/09/2011

We've only been TTC for a lil over a year now & it was just not working. My daughter will be 10 in Sept & after that I won't have any more kids (too much age difference & I didn't want them this far apart as it is)I was already on Metformin for diabetes! I went in to see doc to give up & get back on the pill & other meds & busted out crying my eyes out. My old doc had said there was no way I had PCOS because I had 1 child so if I got preggers I couldn't have it. I fought with him & finally won to get him to check further, he ordered an ultra sound & since there were no cysts he said I didn't have it! After crying to the new doc & explaining all my symptoms she immediatly thought I had PCOS & wanted to check hormone levels! She then explained that if that was the case then I really hadn't had a chance to concieve & suggested other meds to help out! Since my period was already way behind she gave me a med to start & then when I did she gave me Chlomid to help ovulate! This is my 1st cycle trying that I really think I could have a chance! For the last year I have been a wreck & so depressed! Everytime I see a new baby or even just a pregnant woman I have to fight the tears! I am extremely jealous of any friends that say they are expecting! Movies & commercials with babies or pregnant women make me sad! I am praying my new routine will turn into something, but don't have too high of hopes! Are you on any meds to help concieve? Have you discussed all your issues with your doc? I hope it works out for you soon! It's a hard thing to deal with all on its own but if you feel you have noone to discuss it with it makes it even worse! Good Luck! & if you need someone to chat with hit me up!

Lauren - posted on 01/09/2011

Hi Jessica! I am also TTC #2 and catch myself feeling envious over those who are so easily able to conceive. My daughter is 3 1/2, and we have been trying for #2 since she was 8 months old. I think the worst thing is when you have friends who will complain that they are pregnant or about the symptoms or anything. When you are unable to get pregnant all you want is to experience morning sickness or swollen ankles. We have been given such an appreciation of pregnancy and conception, and when other people take it for granted it can be SO frustrating. I sincerely hope that you soon will have a great big bump and we can all be envious of you!

Elizabeth - posted on 11/22/2010

Jessica-DD is 4 months old now for me. It took quite some time for our little bundle to decide she wanted to be made... I don't think the envy will ever truelly go away. Althought I'm so extremelly happy to have my baby girl, I can't help but get that twinge everytime I hear a friend is pregnant. I just feel so broken. I know 9 pregnant woman right now. One of them it was their 1st month ttc for #2 and it just happened. Bam. No timed intercourse. No charting. No OPKs. She just wound up pregnant. I'm so insanely jealolus of her. It just makes me think that when we start for #2 that it's going to be hard work again and disappointment and heartbreak.

You are so not alone. Is there atleast one friend you can talk to about your feelings? We have a group on fb for PCOS, if you'd like to join add me as a friend and I'll have you added (it's a private and secret group so no worries about it showing up on your fb page).

Chin up Chica. I like to think that we appreciate our blessings all the more than a person without fertility problems.

Jessica - posted on 10/08/2010

Sandy,
At the moment all I can do is put all my time and energy in to my son and make him even more the center of my world. As bad as this is going to sound I have actually been to see my primary care doctor and was talking to him about this, and he suggested that I start on a mild anti-depressant. It is starting to help, I noticed I am starting to be happy for my friends and family having babies and feeling like I'm going to cry every moment of every day. I know medication is the the answer for the long term but it is working for now. My marriage is mending and my husband is not afraid to talk to me and make me cry anymore. I hope this helps you and Thank You so much to all of you wonderful ladies for sharing your stories with me. It helps to know that I am not alone in my feelings and that it is normal. Good luck with your efforts in having a baby.

Sandy - posted on 10/07/2010

I know that I am blessed to have my daughter, I was diagnosed a couple of years after I had her. However that doesn't keep you from feeling left out or incomplete. I understand perfectly what you are talking about and have even found myself unable to hold someone elses child because of my own enabilities. At this point I take it a day at a time and try to accept that this is what was intended for me not matter how unfair it feels. If you find something that helps you, please share as I am having a hard time coping as well.

Jillian - posted on 09/23/2010

Erin, wow it is funny I joined this Mom Circle today as my cousin asked me to do so as she wanted me to see her kids. I thought ok let me give it a whirl and I have found so much interesting topics that blew me over. I am going through the exact issue as you have written below and I am about to just cut my friend off because everything about being pregnant and having the kids are always negative and she does not see what a blessing it is for her and not for someone with issues, her knowing what I feel becasue I thought by letting her know what she does is pushing me away and making me not like her is getting worse. So how long after taking hte metformin did you Concieve?? I have been giving it but was like what ever this is not going to work. It makes me sick adn I am tired of trying things. I gave up after I had my second miscarriage.. thanks for your thoughts....

Jillian - posted on 09/23/2010

Thank you Jessica for sharing the truth with us here. I feel the same way and I think it is perfectly normal to feel this way, I have no kids and my feelings kill me everyday. I am starting to Hate I think I am beyond the envy crap and I catch myself looking at Pregnant woman with a look of hatered and this is so not my character. I have been trying for 7 years now. Lost two within 9-10 weeks of being pregnant. Keep your head up and have some faith (Well that is what I am trying to do anyway) things will take its course.. God Bless you Jessica and your beautiful son...

Erin - posted on 08/22/2010

I had these feelings while trying to concieve child #1. I had just been diagnosed with PCOS and told my husband and I had to try for a year before they would do anything to treat the PCOS. Just weeks after getting the diagnosis, a couple that were friends of ours found out they were expecting child #2. Her eldest was around 14 months when child #2 arrived. Also, she hated being pregnant. Due to some of her comments and a misunderstanding our friendship didn't survive. I also didn't have anyone that could understand. My mom and my MIL both didn't have any trouble getting pregnant. All I can say is that prayer is what got me through. I was lucky that what worked for me the first time (just Metformin) worked the second time. It's not wrong to feel how you are feeling. Feel free to message me any time if you need to vent. I've got an ear to listen.