CPS and spots

Serene - posted on 06/10/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )

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So upset, Thought that this would never happen to me. WRONG!!! I've been doing laundry and volunteering within my community all day and I came home, brought some stuff in from my car and was about to settle down for a minute and relax then go get the kids from daycare. A knock came to the door. I answered it and some lady was standing there with a clip board in her hand and said,"Hi, I'm Shar from C.P.S." I was like WTF?!!! She asked if she could come in and talk to me, I told her yes and she came in. I was imbarrassed because my home was a little out of order, but not to much. I apoligized for it and she said she has seen worse and it wasn't a big deal. I asked her why she was here and she said Roman has bruises on his butt!!!! What? Okay let me explain something my son has spots like discolaration of the skin, excesma, and mongolion spots. I was shocked that someone would call on me. I have lived in the city and noone has ever questioned me about my son having these spots on butt.... They knew what they were and when I move to a small town where there is a low percentage of different races; I get called on!!! Shar was nice, I'm surprised. She checked my refrigerator, pantry and kids bedroom to make sure that they had a bed and food. She liked that I was cooperative and she kept on thanking me for letting her come into my home. She told me that she has a friend that had the same spots on the butt and he still has them..she's Korean and she knows what mongolion spots were she had them when she was a child. She told me that she has to have documentation of the marks on the butt or she'll be back out in two weeks.

To make matters worse, my son just turned 3 and he repeats what ever everyone says and sometimes when you ask him a question he answers with that adjective in his sentence. I guess his teacher asked him if mommy spanks him, he said," Mommy spanks him and his little sissy London." A couple of days ago he complained that his butt hurts so I took him to the doctor and there was nothing wrong with him. He told his teachers that his butt hurt and he was holding it; saying,"OUCHY." WHAT!!!!! So, I had to explain to Shar that he says what you want to hear and like every other child you can ask them a question and most of the time they are lying, at least my son doesn't know what he is talking about.

She left then I called their doctor and made an appointment for Roman and London to be seen so that I can document every single mark on there body... I refuse to let anyone try to take my world away from me and I am going to fight for them. These are my babies....

When I picked up my kids up from i confronted the director and told her that CPS had shown up at my house and I am going to take my kids to the doctor and make sure that they document every single mongolion mark or ecesma or discolration of the skin on my kids so this incident doesn't happen again." She put her head down like she was imbarrassed; then I asked Romans teacher if she noticed that he likes to repeat words that she says and the dumb bitch claimed that she didn't notice it," and I was thinking yeah right!!!!!

On the way home from daycare he started saying all of his family members spank him. I don't know what to do. I have talked to him about saying stuff that is not true and I don't know how to get through to him about it. What would you guys do? I don't want to raise my kids as a fibber and I don't want him going around saying things like this. If anyone has been through this with your child please I need help getting through with him. I need him to learn to tell the truth. Plus, I'm curious has anyone been through this with CPS yet? I thought I would never go through with them. Also, will they close this case once i get the documentation and prove to them that i do not abuse my kids or do they keep in the system for the rest of your life? How does this work?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Meagan - posted on 06/11/2011

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If the complaint is unfounded, then they close the case. However, the fact that there WAS a complaint against you never goes away, even if they find no abuse. What that means is that if you ever went into care fields of work and they looked it up, they would be able to see there WAS a complaint filed against you. However, they can also determine that is was dismissed, and I am pretty sure they can get the details.

It's unfortunate that this idiot teacher decided that CPS was the way to go, instead of speaking to the director. I dont really know what mongolian spots are or what they look like, but someone had to have known that they may not be bruises. I would get the documentation you need, make copies and provide them to the director as well, as well as information on those spots, and have a very serious discussion with both the director AND the teacher about whether or not you feel comfortable continuing your business there, and disciplinary action you WANT to see. If they are not willing to discipline the teacher, then you need to leave. And if you do leave, make sure you offer up the documentation and information to their new preschool, and write up an acknowledgement of reciept of that information for both the director and their new teacher to sign. That way, if they claim ignorance, you have proof that they are well aware of what those marks are. Less likely they will call CPS before asking you about it.

Ultimately, from my understanding, they will keep the report in the system as non-abuse, and if you ever faced them again, they may review it to see if it's happened before. But, it isn't supposed to count against you. I've never dealt with it, but my mom did, and that's what happened.

Jane - posted on 06/10/2011

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If you can figure out a way for him not to say stuff like this, let me know, My son is 16 now, but three years ago his school got him to say there was no food in the house, that he had no clean clothes, that there were drugs everywhere, and that we beat him. I was already in bad favor with the principal because my son is ADHD, ODD, and Bipolar but she insisted that children never suffer from mental illness. We sued the district to get the services my son needed and so she wanted us out of her school.

First she called CPS on the one teacher that stood up for what my son needed. That fell through, so she tried something else.

CPS showed up at our house to discover that we had plenty of food, just not what he wanted, which was ice cream and chips. She found out that he has clean clothes but refuses to wear them and that all of the drugs are prescription medications for my husband, who was disabled. In addition, it came out that my son was the one hitting people, including my husband. Under our state law anyone who attacks someone who is over 65 or disabled is breaking the law, so my son now has a record.

Eventually they should close the case and send you a letter saying so, but they might not if that particular teacher has them convinced that something is wrong. In our case, it went on for about two years.

In any case, get the documentation and get your doctor on your side.

BTW my son is also mixed race and has the "mongolian spot." A few times folks tried to tell me it was a bruise, too, but I was able to set them straight.

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Serene - posted on 06/14/2011

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I have no idea, I was wondering the same thing... and CPS keeps your record on file for 6 months.... I was also told that mongolion spots has been reported before. :-((

Jane - posted on 06/14/2011

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Why didn't the doctor notice the eczema the first time you took him in when he said his butt hurt?

Serene - posted on 06/14/2011

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I took my children to the doctor yesterday to get everything on their body documented. Turned out my son had a severe chronic case of exsema.. I'm so upset.... I had confronted my sons teacher and the next step tomorrow is to confront the director of the center.....

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