i think i need a break..what do you think???

Teresa - posted on 05/27/2010

Oh my goodness! Now that I've read everything... sister or not, get her butt OUT of there!!

Teresa - posted on 05/27/2010

Haven't read any responses yet, but you are WAY overscheduled!! I hope you find a way to cut some of that out before you burn out completely!!

Sharon - posted on 05/27/2010

There isn't much that I like more than seeing a woman be forceful and assertive and speaking her mind.... I think I got a little turned on Tah... lmao.. I'm kidding btw.

Tah - posted on 05/27/2010

i told her to she needed to walk yesterday from now on..i was pissed..i had taken a tylenol with codeine because i had a partial root canal done and still need to get it finished and my tooth was bothering me...so i sat up and studied for about an hour until i dozed off..she came and beat on my door like it was a raid i jumped up confused and she said can u take me to work...i said.."i am not a taxi..i am going to start charging you and why are you beating on my door like that..she said..well you could have just told me to take your truck...i said...how about you take your feet and walk, your job is 2 minutes down the road...needless to say it was quiet ride(i only took her because she was already late)...lol..and if i'm not mistaken, my truck door was closed a little hard..but i didn't care...i felt good, and i'm sure she got the hint...see i'm listening and feeling better already..lol

Suzette - posted on 05/26/2010

Tah, you sound like my friend who lives next door about more than 3 kids... LOL! She has 3 little ones (close in age) and she says NO MORE!!! I don't blame her, I don't know if I can handle another pregnancy, let alone 2 kids, Ha!

Good for you with the laundry!! Hopefully he'll learn to pick them up instead of leaving them and continually relying on you. After all, he's going to move out someday and you won't be living in his new place to do it all for him! Hopefully you won't have to hide them, if you do then it'll really teach him. ;)

My parents, well whole family really, is about the same as your mom and letting people stay when they need it. After a while though, and getting burned by some of those people, my mom said no. My nana though, yeah not so much. She continually gets used, and mad when others say no to a family member in need.

My parents got to the point that upsetting the rest of the family was better than getting taken advantage of, and the rest of the family stopped asking them for things that were too extreme. (Like borrowing vehicles and running them all to hell or a lot of money when my parents really don't have that and they weren't going to pay them back.)

Maybe scaring them a little is a good thing? It'll help them realize you're beyond stressed and need a little help too! I hope that things start getting better for you and you get the help you need. =) And good luck with the chore chart!

Krista - posted on 05/26/2010

I think I need a break too, because I'm so tired that I read your post title as "I think I need a beak", and I was then picturing you with a bird beak, and wondering why on earth you would want one.

Time for bed methinks.

Sharon - posted on 05/26/2010

Tah - the salads thing is a blast. The kids tend to try more options seeing what their siblings rave about.

I feel like a restaurant when I put the big bowl of lettuce and lots of little bowls w/tomatoes, cucumbers, black olives, green olives, onions, croutons, shredded cheese, bacon bits etc.

Everything can go back to its original container, except the chopped veggies and those can stored in small bags or boxes for me to make a salad for lunch the next day - except black olives, lol, those are eaten completely up, no matter how many cans I open. Not everyone likes them on their salad but they're happy to snack on them.

Tah - posted on 05/26/2010

@suzette..i have 3 children and if my husband mentions having another right now i am going to run away...lol..i'm like you are on the ship and just extended til 2011 and i'm supposed to have a 4th..while im in school, working and trying to figure out if we should buy a house now or wait and see where shore duty takes us...i called my dr. the next day and had my birth control renewed just to make sure i didn't run out....lol...i actually threw his clothes on the laudry room floor last night..felt guilty for 2 seconds and then got over it..woke him up and told him t get his clothes up and don't do it again or he wouldn't find them..he has to have certain color clothes for his "swag"....or his style..so that would hurt his heart if i hid them..lol

@Loureen..no she has a license..a degree...a job....she does what she wants and when..it was like okay..she wanted a change and to go to school for nursing..but really wanted to be a DR..we said your 21(at the time)..no kids..blah blah...go after your dreams.she was on campus..outta state tution was a bit$ch..she moved off...she used to jump between our houses..but for the last 1.5 years she has strictly been with us..ok we didn't mind...but when she does this and crashes my husband's car when were outta town last month, and doesn't help out as much as i would like..i get frustrated...but.......if i say to much..my mom gets upset..as i have stated in other post..my mom has let numerous family members live with us because you help family point blank period...so i just let crap go...

i am going to do the chore llist when ryan gets home from work today..its like they know what hey are supposed to do..but getting done..or done completely is another thing...my son knew i was tired last night and kept texting me at school..i said i am coming home..don't worry..lol...he just knows i'm tired because i have been really quiet and he said i'm scaring him..lol...

Lady - posted on 05/26/2010

My 9 year old and 11 year old have a list of chores they are supposed to do. It isn't always easy getting them to do them (especially the 11 year old boy) but the more they do them the easier it gets - my mum has helped by talking to them and offering more pocket money for them if I tell her that they are doing their chores each day. Even my 4 year old helps a little by tidying her room and toys and putting away her own laundry.
I definitly think you should get your sister to help out more, if she is living with you rent free then she could repay you by taking the kids to their classes. If she has to stay she could take a book and do some studying while she's there. BE FIRM. Tell them you can't do it all yourself and if they care about you and want you to be happy and healthy then they will help out more. I told all mine if you don't start to do more round the house I'll go off my head, I can't cope, I can't do it all myself and if they didn't want a depressed stressed out mummy then they had to start helping. It worked and at least they are aware of it now. It's not a weekness to admit to them all that you need them to do more. I know as housewifves and mothers we feel that it's our job to do everything but as a family you need to work together and take care of each other - you deserve to be looked after too!!!

Charlie - posted on 05/25/2010

OMG , i was under the impression your sister didnt have a license , well if she does have one and she isnt paying you any rent or board she needs to step up !! you are not her mother and she is a full grown adult , i know shes your sister but she needs to take responsibility , make her help take kids to their sports if you need a rest , its just not fair on you Tah !

I agree with Suzette , make a chore list have consequences for not doing them .

Im glad the food thing worked out LOL keep it up :)

Suzette - posted on 05/25/2010

Tah, try making a chore list. My mom did this with my brother and me... granted she only had 2 kids, I'm not sure how many you have but it sounds like more, that or you have a crapton of activities. lol.

Anyway, make a chores list and anyone who doesn't finish their chores doesn't get (insert something extra here). That's what she did to us and guess what? It motivated our butts BIG time! We got television, allowance, whatever taken from our butts. If our laundry was left in the dryer, it was tossed on the laundry room floor and we didn't get to rewash either. If it was left in the washer and got moldy, we got our butts reamed and something taken away. Whether it was something in our rooms or extra chores or whatever. She was extremely strict on us because she used to work long hours at the courts, probably not as much as you are with your jobs and school, but long hours nonetheless.

And I'd tell your sister, no more rides to work period (unless you're already headed that way). She has two legs and a heartbeat, like another lady said. You have a life, a hectic one at that. She can get her booty in gear. ;)

Tah - posted on 05/25/2010

no my sister doesn't pay anything to live here and she has access to the vehicles if one is not in use.....she pisses me off when i am trying to get my 2 hours in for work and she comes and bangs on my bedroom door like the police and says...can you take me to work..i think that is a little selfish when she knows i can hardly sleep anyway, and once i am interrupted i can't get back to sleep.....i actually took some advice and when my son told me that he didn't want what i was making, i told him don't eat, but don't go back in my kitchen looking for anything else after everybody else has...20 minutes later i saw him go in and look in the pots and start making a plate while i was on my way to class....lol...

the seperated salads fixings are a good idea also...the thing with karate is that it doesn't end until you can kill someone with your pinky..lol...so it's not like seasonal sports....i started karate because i felt like if i was paying 250 a month for a family plan but only one person was going because the 3 year old isn't old enough and my son does boxing..and band..i forgot about that...that we needed to get our money worth and i thought it might be nice for me..but it just made my life more hectic..

the oldest is 13...he feeds majesty in the am before school but i am the one that usually ends up taking him out in the am and i have to remind him to take him out again when he gets home, he runs around the house but he needs to be walked...my sister won't go near the dog and we are lucky she feeds him when we go out of town...my oldest will put his laundry in fine enough...but guess who has to get it out..i go in the laundry room to wash and his stuff is still in there, or when i'm ready to dry..guess whose clothes are greeting me in there...sometimes i am too tired to even say you know better, i just take them out..or he's usually already at school, band or boxing and i can't wait....i just felt myself getting a little hot...for lack of a better word..my husband helps when he can...he stayed home from boxing a few times this month because he saw the look on my face and helped with dinner, clothes..etc..but next month his ship schedule is going to be hectic and it's hectic now because he is the work center super and having to get them ready for the underways...i am going to pencil me in some me time...my jobs called..yes jobs...the ones i mentioned aren't the same place...lol...with a list of days as long as my arm and i haven't called back because....well..i'm tired...lol..but i am listening to the advice...

Charlie - posted on 05/25/2010

LOL Suzette , my mum would say the same about dinner and if we didnt eat it , the food on our plate was gone in seconds , Tongans dont wait around , if they see food available they eat it and you starve , and no sandwiches for us !!

Suzette - posted on 05/25/2010

Yeah, exhausting. I'm with Sharon and Gillian on this one. You and I are both kind of in the same boat... though I'm on my first little one and no way NO how would I be doing all that chiqua! (Likely because we were raised a little different, LOL. - Nothing bad implied by that either. My mom actually tells me she should've raised me more with the hispanic culture where the women in my Dad's family do everything... I tell her that she's flipping nuts. And, I've gotten in more than one argument with one of my uncles about how I'm no one's maid and men and teenagers know damn well how to make their own plates/meals. Ha! sorry, that was off topic... lol.)

First, I would cut out the specialty dinners. My mom always told us she was no short order cook. (My neighbor tells her little ones the same thing... lol. I'm sure I'll tell mine that too.) If they don't like what's for dinner, there is always sandwhich fixings or left overs. Like Sharon suggested, let them build their own salad, my mom used to do that because, well, I'm damn picky about my salad stuff too. =)

Second, when I was a kid I was doing my own laundry - once I knew how to use all the soaps, bleach, etc. Granted your little one can't do that, that'd be one big mess! LOL. (You definitely do not need that right now!) Make the kids get some more exercise and help with the pup, and your sister should be helping out too whether with dinners or the dog or both. And like Gillian said, make her butt walk, you are not a taxi for her, you're a momma and a wife first. ;)

Third, give yourself a day to just you! I know that you want to spend all this time with your family, but you definitely need a day to go off get a pedicure, get your hair done, and just relax!!!

Charlie - posted on 05/25/2010

just make a one meal if they dont like it TOUGH , trust me they will eat when they get hungry enough .

Make your sister walk , she has two legs and a heartbeat , i dont know if she pays board or rent but maybe she can help with the kids homework or at least play with your little one while you get dinner on .

You have way to much o a Monday night is there any way to cut one of those ?

How old are your oldest ? if they are old enough get them to chip in and help too , like walk the dog , make sure they do the all the dishes , make them put their laundry in the washing machine and wash it themselves .

I think you need to schedule in 'me" time , make this a priority for at least an hour where you can put your feet up , i tired , stressed mummy is a tired , stressed family .

Oh man you are sooo busy , actually get your sister to babysit and go get a nice massage 1!

Sharon - posted on 05/25/2010

Yeah - cut the specialty dinners out.

I make one meal. You don't like it, make yourself a sandwich.

Salads are different - I cut everything up and put it in seperate dishes, then everyone builds their own.

Mexican food, make refried beans from a can and your son can have that instead of meat.

Your karate schedule reads like our soccer schedule. But that is only for a few months. I think your whole family needs a one month or two week break from the constant "GO GO GO GO!" schedule.

Lady - posted on 05/25/2010

I make one dinner and if people don't like it then they can starve. Housework is not a necessity - just do the minimum and try to get the kids to help as much as posible like putting away their own laundry and emptying and filling the dishwasher. Tell your sister to bloodywell walk you're not a taxi service and get the kids the sister and the hubby to walk the dog - you can't be super woman you can't do it all and just tell everyone - I've reached that point to and just got them all told, it was driving me to depression me being the one to do everything and hopefully it'll change for the better - good luck!

Wanda - posted on 05/25/2010

Holy cow, you definately qualify for a break.

*Lisa* - posted on 05/25/2010

GOSH. I am exhausted just reading that. You definitely qualify for a break!!!